Callum looked at her and suddenly grinned, recalling what Payton had said. “Fair enough. What do ye think tells ye whether ye are in love or nae?”
“Worry when they are out of your sight or in trouble, delight when they come home nay matter how short the trip or how far they went, this”—she waved her hand at the two of them in bed—“mayhap having trouble sleeping when the other isnae with ye, feeling it when they are hurt or sad and wanting to fix it fast, and wanting to do things just because ye think they may like it or wondering if ye should do something because ye worry they may nae like it. ’Tis nae so easy to describe. When ye get good or bad news they are the first one ye think of to tell. That and feeling guilty if ye try to keep a secret from them.” She shrugged.
“Or being bone-deep terrified because they just got hurt, e’en though ye can see it isnae a mortal wound.”
“Exactly.”
He frowned and said carefully, “Or being afraid that if ye admit it, it might nae be returned.” He felt lighter in heart for saying that and began to know that that had been his real fear, one that had been set so deep he had not really recognized it.
“Most certainly that. That would mean heartache and nay rational person courts that.”
He stared at her. She sat with the linen sheet covering her lap and her hair draped over her breasts. He thought her the most beautiful thing he had seen. She loved him and he could only marvel at the fact that she did. His inept words had not sent her storming from the room either, and he began to think that was because she understood him better than he did himself.
“Then I love ye, Bethoc Matheson, and I want ye to marry me.” He felt a cold grip his innards as he spoke the words and waited for her answer.
“Oh, aye, Callum. Aye.”
She flung herself into his arms and hugged him tightly. Callum breathed a hearty sigh of relief. It was odd how he had ignored his own fear but he was relieved it had not cost him Bethoc. When she lifted her head to look at him, he kissed her.
“I have four children,” she warned after the kiss ended.
“I collect them and quite often have more than four.”
“Are ye certain, Callum? I couldnae bear having ye change your mind later and find myself wed to ye but ye nae bound to me.”
“Actually, aye, I am verra sure.” He touched a kiss to her nose. “I realized as we talked that my doubts were born of fear. I am nae clean and have often doubted why anyone would have anything to do with me. I didnae heed my grandfather’s words of affection for a long time because of that.”
“Ye are nae unclean, Callum. That is utter nonsense. Do ye think Laurel unclean and unworthy of Robbie’s love?”
“Weel, nay. Of course not. Sadly, too many women suffer the horror of rape, e’en from their own husbands. How could one fault them for that?”
“And how could one fault a child for the same thing?”
“That’s what Payton always said.”
“Weel, ye obviously didnae listen. Would ye have thought me unclean if ye hadnae arrived in time at the jail and the sheriff and his men had done as they were intending?”
“Nay, but I would have killed them and that would have caused a problem or two.”
He sighed and nodded. “I understand. I do. ’Tis just hard to recall it from time to time. I will try harder to do so.”
“Good, because it twists up your thoughts, I think.”
He laughed. “Aye, it does.”
“So when would ye like to be married? In the spring?”
“Nay, that is too long to wait. Soon. I want ye to be the lady here as soon as possible.” He slid his hands down to caress her buttocks.
“I dinnae need anything fancy so whene’er ye choose is fine with me. Maybe before all the flowers are gone though. I think a wee basket of petals to throw about would please Margaret.”
“I was thinking we would wed as soon as I can get a priest here.”
She grinned. “Then find your priest. I will be ready.”
He kissed her and began to make love to her. Slow and languid, he dragged out every caress and kiss to savor the pleasure. When they finally found release as one, he held her close as she fell asleep. Once he was sure she was sound asleep he slipped out of bed and donned his plaid. He intended to get the vows said as soon as possible and for that he needed someone to fetch him a priest.
Once in the room that Simon and Uven shared, he nudged Simon awake, knowing without looking that Uven had already woken up and was watching him. The man had that ability to sense when someone approached. If he had been a threat he would already be bleeding out on the floor.
