“It means,” I told him, “that we’re going to let Ruck war game this and find the best route that puts us up against the least amount of motherfuckers at one time as possible.”
“I could do that,” Relay muttered.
We all chuckled at that, because no, no he couldn’t. He was a charge-in and fight-them-all-at-once kind of bastard. It was a damn good thing he was such a good fighter. Even in his team of PJs in the Air Force, Relay hadn’t been known as the mission planner. He was the one they used when shit hit the fan and they needed a ‘get out of this shit sandwich as quickly as possible’ card. And Relay was great at his role. Everyone knew it. Except maybe Relay, because he thought he was terrific at everything. The fact that he was still alive gave credence to this theory.
“Next stage is tailing Carrick’s guys,” Ruck told us. “If we see any opportunities, we’ll take them, but mostly I just want a little more recon. It’s not that I don’t trust Glitch. I do. But I’m old school and I want to verify with our own fucking eyes that thisinformation’s correct.” He looked over at me, then Kilo. “You two split up our forces between protecting the compound, and two other groups so we can follow these assholes around for a few days.”
“You got it, Prez,” Kilo said with a nod.
“Do you think Carrick realizes what’s happening yet?” Drifter asked.
“Don’t know,” I replied. “According to Glitch they haven’t changed up their routine much. Other than hiring some new muscle to replace Rhino. That happened pretty quickly.”
“Probably just thinks he bailed,” Strike said. “I imagine that happens a lot when you’re tasked with keeping those kids in line or killing them.”
“Since they haven’t changed anything up we’ll operate under the assumption they aren’t aware that we’re closing in,” Ruck told us. “At least until we figure out otherwise. You have your assignments.”
I let out a breath, relieved to finally be doing something. The apartments were damn near done. Moving in would be happening soon. But I was glad we were getting started now. It was fucking torture to watch Rue have to wait to go look for Ryan.
She’d managed to find him the one time, not too long after he first left, and had been looking ever since he disappeared with Carrick’s crew. Seeing the devastation on her face as she recounted that story to me had nearly broken me. I’d been ready to scour the fucking streets until I found the kid and dragged him back, kicking and fucking screaming if I had to.
I fully understood Ryan’s need to feel as though he belonged somewhere. To be around like-minded people, especially other men, and feel as though he’d found others who understood him. Growing up without my father, without brothers, or uncles, had chased me straight into the military. My mother was amazing,and I appreciated her on a level I wasn’t sure she’d ever fully know, but…I’d needed more.
I was still trying to find a way to explain to Rue why Ryan had most likely left her. If he was anything like me, it had nothing to do with her and everything to do with something missing inside of him. A hole that needed filling that a mother’s, or sister’s, love couldn’t quite patch up. A sense of belonging, a higher purpose, a mission. Once in the military I’d met Ruck and a few of the others, and now the motorcycle club fulfilled that need inside me.
None of that meant I didn’t go visit my mother over in Casa Grande at least once a month. That I didn’t go full out for Mother’s, and Father’s, Day for her. That I wouldn’t rip apart anyone who tried to hurt her with my bare fucking hands. It just meant I needed something in addition to her love. She seemed to understand and she welcomed my brothers into her home as though we were all her sons. I swear she loved Code more than me half the time. Damn little brown noser. He made her think he was some kind of sweet gentleman. Fucking lies. But Mom wouldn’t hear anything bad about the little bastard.
I really needed to pull my shit together and figure out how to talk to Rue about this. She could use the explanation, because I could read the guilt and worry and pain all over her face every time she thought about Ryan. I just needed a way to explain to her that it wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t a failure to provide on her end. Even I knew that no woman was going to believe that, at least not at first. But I had to try, for her sake.
I did know that I was going to give that kid an ass kicking he wouldn’t soon forget once we got him home. For worrying his sister. For abandoning her when she was closer to a mother than the one who’d birthed him. You didn’t abandon family like that. Then I’d teach him what real family was all about. Kid didn’t know it yet, but he had more uncles than he could ask for andwe were going to straighten him out. He was ours now. Him and Teddy. Both kids needed us.
But first we needed to take out more of Carrick’s numbers. And make sure we could get the kids they’d recruited out without any casualties to their numbers. Half of them were likely hooked on drugs by this point. Or drinking. Or even sex. Money. Power. It could be fucking anything depending on what the individual kid needed. That was what they’d use as the lure. And none of them who’d chosen to stay would be willing to leave so easily. We needed to kick down the organization, slaughter the men running things, then we could rescue the kids.
Thankfully that was Carrick and his crew for now. We’d deal with whatever we found as we worked our way up the ladder. But for now, we were one step closer to getting Ryan back. And Rue already had Teddy. She visited him as much as she was allowed by the psych unit. Visiting times were severely restricted at first. And with Teddy being on suicide watch, she hadn’t been able to stop in and see him at all until they began medicating him.
The grief she carried around had eased a little after the first time she’d gotten to speak to him though. I was ready to see it gone completely but that wasn’t going to happen until her brother was home and proved he wasn’t a flight risk.
I was willing to do whatever was fucking necessary to make that happen for her.
CHAPTER 21
Rue
Iwatched as the guys left the room where they had church. OD had insisted I stay at the clubhouse most days now. He didn’t want to leave me alone at his house. Plus, Ruck had insisted as well. I didn’t mind so much.
As soon as OD stepped out of the room he spotted me and headed over. “Everything okay?” he asked, frowning.
He’d already told me everything Glitch had filled them in on. I knew this wasn’t going to be an easy task. But getting Ryan away from this group was important to me. “I want to help.”
He blinked at me. “Sure. We can find something-”
“No,” I told him, cutting him off. “I want to go with you when you go to find Ryan. I want to help.”
His eyes narrowed. “That’s not going to help us.”
I scowled at him. “What do you mean?”
He exhaled loudly. “We work as a team, Light. Having you there will just distract us. Distract me. I’ll be so busy looking after you, I’ll be putting the rest of the team in danger.”
