Lisa tugged at her bottom lip. “Right. The fancy suite with the mile-long fireplace. How could I forget?” The look on her face made it clear she’d already imagined the fantasy suite in minute detail. “Look, Kate, I’m hardly one to lecture another person on choosing a partner. Look at the situation I’m in. But you admitted you and Liam love each other, and I’ve never seen you cry over anyone before. You’ve always been the one to help others with their relationships. I think this thing with Liam runs deeper than you know.”
Kate shook her head. Was she ready for something that deep? Was he? Not if that newspaper was any indication.
“He already made strides. Damn, you said he dropped the custody suit. Doesn’t that prove the man is trying to change?”
It seemed like eons ago. Even though she’d been mostly asleep, she remembered feeling such pride, such relief, on his behalf.
But she knew full well people didn’t really change. Look at her father. Look at any number of the other addicts she’d known. She wanted Donny to be the one to prove her wrong, but it didn’t mean she wouldn’t reserve her judgment. She’d learned long ago it was easier to change her reactions than to compel others to seek help. And where she couldn’t affect change, she left.
There was something to be said for keeping one’s sanity.
“Kate?”
She gave Lisa half a smile. “I can’t ask Liam to give up his career for me. I won’t. It’s better if I just forget him.”
Even as she said the words, they hung at the back of her throat.
Forget him. Ha. It would be easier to forget her own name.
ChapterSixteen
“I’m not sure I can do this,” Kate said on her way into her first New Horizons meeting in weeks.
Lisa rallied behind her. “Of course you can.” She steered her friend to one of the well-worn chairs. “Honesty is the best policy, right?”
“Right.” She took a deep breath and watched as Rod started the meeting, welcoming new members. After the initial icebreakers, he opened the floor to anyone who wanted to share. Audrey spoke first, updating the group on her struggles with her boyfriend, and then a couple of new members shared their stories.
After thirty odd minutes, Rod turned to Kate with a smile. “It’s good to see you back. The floor’s yours if you want it, Kate.”
“I’d like that.” She folded her hands in her lap, looking down. “As some of you know, I recently had a…relationship with Liam Doyle, the owner of the Vice casino. I’m not going to apologize for that. That’s a whole other story. I do have to apologize for something else, though. When I started this group, I told you all that I’d cut my dad out of my life. The truth was, I’d been enabling him for years, sending him money. It killed me to do it, but I couldn’t stop. I was so scared to cut him off. Afraid of what might happen.”
“It’s never easy,” Lisa said.
“No. But I got help from an unlikely source. Believe it or not, it was Liam Doyle who helped me to be strong. And even though I’m not seeing him anymore, I’ll always be grateful to him for that. But that doesn’t change the past. I’m sorry I lied to you all.”
The room grew silent. A couple of the members traded looks.
Kate stood up. “I’d understand if you want me to leave.”
“Hon,” said Rod, grinning. “Don’t be so dramatic. Have a seat. We’d like you to stay. Besides, we recently received a big donation and are planning on setting up a couple of new groups. I’m not just being a sentimental sap when I say we need you.”
Emotion bubbled inside her. Kate hadn’t lost her friends after all and the streak of relief that shot through her made her feel ten years younger.
Unfortunately it did nothing to fill the other gaping hole inside her.
Lisa dropped her off at her apartment that night. Kate waved, turned and sighed. The idea of facing another night alone, without Liam, had her skin bristling. It had been three weeks since she walked away from him and her heart still cried out for him, still wanted him.
Was it right? She wasn’t sure anymore.
She just needed to get over this dreadful hump. She still felt his eyes on her everywhere she went. Every so often at Percolate, she’d see a businessman open the door and her heart would leap, only to realize it wasn’t him. Whenever she spotted a black Escalade, she fought the urge to wave. She swore she smelled his cologne everywhere, as if he haunted her like a ghost. It both unnerved and thrilled her.
She started up the metal staircase leading to her unit when a noise distracted her.
Peering into the darkness of the backyard, she waited for his wraith to float toward her. Seeing nothing, feeling silly, she took another step.
She had to stop imagining Liam everywhere. At some point, she had to stop looking over her shoulder, hoping he’d appear. It did nothing to help the precious sense of sanity she so cherished.
Sanity. Right now she’d give her right arm for a huge helping of insanity and the chance to hear Liam say he loved her again.
