“I want that too.” Alex stared ahead, his gaze just as glassy as hers must have been a short time ago. “But not here. Not now.”
In that moment, his inner god fled as well.
Had she ruined the moment by taking control? That couldn’t be it. She might not know him well, but she didn’t think Alex was the sort of man who had issues with strong women. Still, maybe she shouldn’t have been so demanding.
His girlfriend had only been in the ground for a year. He was probably still hurting. It was entirely possible he hadn’t been with anyone else since her. No doubt, Alex had plenty of women volunteering to help him take the edge off here and there, to say nothing of many men, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t still going through a period of grief.
What if they weren’t ready for a relationship? She knew she wasn’t, and yet she still wanted to feel his fire, his breath, his awe.
Whatever this was between them, she needed it.
Alex removed his hand from around her shoulder and lay it between them on the couch.
It was as if he’d taken all the heat out of the room. She wanted to snuggle against him and absorb his warmth again.
His eyes were vacant.
Was it possible he’d come to Vegas looking for something too, something he hadn’t yet found?
Dana squeezed his hand. “Alex, are you okay?”
“Yeah. Just thinking.”
“About your girlfriend?”
He turned to her, his mouth open. “I’m sorry. Shitty timing, huh?”
“Grief can be like that. It has its own schedule and it doesn’t usually respect ours. I never told you, but I’m so sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you.” His voice was soft. “I thought I had stopped missing Shannon but, in some ways, I still do. She was actually my ex by the time we went on that trip, but most people wouldn’t know that. Our relationship was stormy from day one. There was so much I liked about her, but we spent all our time either arguing or fucking. There were never any peaceful moments. I could never sit here quietly with her, the way I am with you. She was always on the lookout for the next grand gesture. It was exhausting at times.”
“I can imagine. Why do you think she needed grand gestures?”
“She had some bad relationships before I met her. They made her lose her trust. By the time I came around, she was ready to lump me in with the other guys. She constantly needed proof of how I felt and I got tired of having to prove myself. Things soured. Taking Shannon to Bermuda was a last-ditch attempt to make things better but it only made things worse. What we did just now…well, it’s been a while since I’ve done that. I forgot how much I enjoyed it. I feel guilty for enjoying myself sometimes.”
Maybe they had more in common than she thought.
Something shifted in Dana’s chest. The fragmented pieces of her heart moved, seeking to reassemble. There was a hole there. She knew Alex would never fill it, but perhaps, given more time with him, she could throw a tarp over it and work around it.
“I want to get to know you better, Dana.”
“I’d like—”
Viola’s voice sounded from outside the nook. “Mr. Markov?”
Alex sighed. “Yes?”
“I’m so sorry to disturb you, but Wade is outside. He needs to speak to you. He says it’s important.”
“Okay. Thanks.” He brushed Dana’s hair from her face. “I should probably go, but I hate to leave you alone.”
“I’m hardly alone here. Besides, I’m a big girl. Duty calls.”
“Yeah.” He stood. “I won’t be long. Will you wait for me?”
“I’ll wait.”
“Good.” Alex leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. It was quick and soft and it made her want to lean in for more. “I’ll be right back.”
