At the same time, just as in real life, nature could be unpredictable. Dana was aware some very difficult emotions hovered in the distance, threatening like a storm, ready to unleash their elements.
She wasn’t ready for the onslaught, even if it meant getting help in the end.
During those rare moments when she could forget there was a neon sign flashing over her head that saidBarren, life conspired to remind her.
At one point while in her suite, she’d thought she heard a baby crying out in the hallway.
Ridiculous.
This was the Vegas Strip and she was on the penthouse level at Vice. Why on earth would there be a baby crying in the hotel hallway? Even though she’d told herself not to, she’d checked, just in case. Of course, there had been no baby. Someone probably had their TV on too loudly in another suite.
It didn’t matter. She’d been walking around in a daze ever since.
Just like that night at Joe’s, she needed a distraction. If she didn’t find something else to occupy her mind, she’d travel to all the dark places, the ones that seemed so eager to welcome her.
The women would all want updates on the plans for her wedding. She’d already asked Anise to be her maid of honor and Anise took her role seriously. She wanted to start planning her own events, showers and the like, and now Dana had to stall for time until she found a way to explain there would be no wedding.
She should have told her family about the breakup by now, but every time she spoke to Anise on the phone, the conversation centered on her sister’s divorce. Dana didn’t want to add to her troubles and bring up sad feelings. There were bound to be enough as it was.
It wasn’t that she didn’t want to tell her family the truth. She just wanted to do it in her own time. Her parents had always been so focused on the thought of potential grandbabies. They doted on her cousins’ kids, and barely a month went by without Dana’s mom reminding her tomake some bundles of joy.
According to her mother, having children was her greatest source of fulfillment.
Dana had never questioned whether her fulfillment might have to come from another direction.
Even before Tommy, if anyone had asked if she was happy, she would have said yes. She had a great job, great friends, and an active social life.
Tommy was the one who’d first said they needed something more. After a while, she’d believed him.
What was Tommy doing right now?
Was he out seeking fulfillment of his own, searching for another baby mama?
That’s not fair. You know, on some level, it hurt him too.
Oh, yeah. He was probably in tatters over her, the one who just wasn’t enough for him on her own. No doubt he was gnashing his teeth over dumping her in a chintzy hospital café, five seconds after the doctor told her she’d never conceive.
This anger…it festered inside her, inching through her body, scoring her flesh. Eating her up.
She wasn’t sure what made her angrier—the diagnosis or the way Tommy ended things.
It was enough to make her sick.
Maybe you need some Alex medication.
As if that would help anything.
Despite not wanting to dwell on her memories, images from the night at the tiki bar flashed before her eyes. Alex checking her out in the bar mirror, his face half in shadow. The intensity in his eyes as he asked, “Are you sure?”
Worst of all, she couldn’t forget the way he cradled her against that bathroom wall. For a cold, anonymous sex act, his touch had been full of heat. Each thrust had filled her with surprise. His clawed fingers had demonstrated his desire, and a need as potent as her own.
In that one moment, they’d needed each other.
Did he still need her?
Bea and Jessica went to the bar and Anise took that moment to draw Dana into a private conversation. “Hey, you okay?”
“Why do you ask?”
