“It will. Without me.”
“I don’t know what to say. What are you going to do for work?”
He took a breath. “Actually, I’ve been studying for the police exam. I think I might want to be a cop.”
“Youthinkyou might? That sort of job is a vocation. You don’t sound so sure.”
“Yeah, well, it’s all still new. I’ve been trying to sort a lot of things out.”
“Is it the money? Because I’m sure I pay you better than what you’ll get as a cop. We can talk about your salary.”
“No, Ry. You’ve always been generous. It’s not about the money. I just want, ah, hell.” What did he want? He wanted to go back in time and stay with Lloyd so he could have destroyed the shifters who’d gone after his friend. He wanted to take the sadness out of Elaine’s eyes. He wanted everything he couldn’t have. “I guess I want to make some sort of contribution.”
Contribution. If he couldn’t keep his best friend alive, what sort of fucking contribution did he honestly think he could make? He was supposed to be making a contribution by taking care of Elaine. Look how well that had gone. So well he scared her into another country.
For the thousandth time since she’d left, he wondered how she was doing. And what about Layla and Andy? Were they adjusting to their new home and making friends?
Did they still remember their Uncle Connor?
“Wow. I can’t fault you for wanting to wear the uniform. It’s a noble profession. You’d make one hell of a cop, Connor.” Ryland grinned. “You’ll have to shave that cookie duster, you know?”
He chuckled. “Like I said, I needed a change. I kind of like the beard, though. I think I’ll hold on to it for now.”
Ryland fiddled with the corner of the resignation letter, making a dog-ear and then unfolding it. “Have you told Elaine?”
“No. We don’t talk much.”
“You should tell her.” The suggestion was made in a gentle voice, as gentle as the bear shifter could manage.
“She won’t care.”
“That’s a lie and you know it.”
Connor ran a hand through his hair. “She’s moved on, Ry.”
“Yeah, but you know as well as I do she can’t stay in Alaska forever. It’s a different country. You can’t just move in. Border security tends to frown on that. At best, she’s visiting. This is her home.”
“It doesn’t matter. She made it very clear I was only standing in her way. She won’t want to hear from me. I’ve sent her messages. She rarely responds.”
“She’s in mourning, and she has two small kids.”
“Don’t you think I realize that?” His voice fractured. “I fucking love those kids.”
“And Elaine?”
“Damn, Ryland. She’s my best friend’s widow. Of course, I care for her.”
“She cares for you, too. She’ll come around again. I know it. She just needs space.”
Space. As far as Connor could tell, Gemini Island provided oodles of space. With acres of woodland, trails, and networks of caves, a person could get lost for hours. Elaine could have had her precious space right here at home.
But no, she had to run away to Hicksville, Alaska, to live with cousins who didn’t even know she was a bear shifter.
Connor’s spirit animal, a gruff mountain lion, hissed inside him. He cuffed the beast gently on the head. It seemed every time he thought about Elaine, the great cat complained. Dumb beast.
“I sent her an invitation to the grand re-opening celebration.”
“You did? Has she responded?”
