“It’s okay. I’m tired of resting. Sometimes it seems it’s all I do.” What she really wanted to do was run and run and run some more, forcing her stiff body into action, screaming her hatred for fate into the sky. What she really wanted to do was shove Lloyd’s killers up against a wall and pound them until their muscles and bones gave way under her fists.
“I’ll call when we’re done then.” Toni disappeared down the hallway.
Elaine stared at the empty doorway.
Seven months.
It felt like a hundred.
It had been only seven months since her beloved husband and mate had been torn from her life, killed by men who could never measure up to him in any way. Mere weeks since she’d left their former home on Gemini Island, determined to escape from anything that might remind her of what she lost. She’d turned from all the friends who’d supported her during her darkest days.
She still glimpsed no light.
Would Lloyd really be proud of her? She felt so weak, so abandoned. Every day she tried to put on a brave face for their kids, eager to help them reclaim their lives, but she feared it wasn’t working. Thank God she had Toni and Fred.
But her cousins were human. They didn’t understand, not really. They couldn’t possibly comprehend the bond that linked Elaine and Lloyd.
As shape shifters, Elaine and Lloyd were different. She’d never told her human family how Lloyd had mated with her, making her a bear shifter as well. Shifters didn’t tell humans about their existence as a rule. However, when Lloyd had been killed, Elaine had had no choice but to turn to her friends because she wasn’t sure she could trust her family with a secret that involved so many in her community.
You could have stayed on Gemini Island.There, they understand us.
She silenced her inner voice, that of her bear, for the umpteenth time.
The Ursa Lodge in Northern Ontario was a shape shifter resort, owned and run by bear shifter Ryland Snow. An inviting retreat for shifter families, the facility also served as a place of mentorship for troubled teenage shifters. Many of their species transformed for the first time in their teens and the change could prove tumultuous to say the least. At the Ursa, Ryland and his people helped families cope with those changes.
Lloyd had been a security expert there, and Elaine had spent much time there as well.
When an evil cult leader had set his sights on the resort staff last year, everything had changed. There had been a terrible battle, one Elaine had missed because she had been on the mainland, visiting with an ailing human relative. Thank God she’d taken the kids with her. Lloyd had died that day, in his prime, trying to protect some of their friends.
She hadn’t even been able to say goodbye.
There was a belief among shape shifters. When a mated shifter died, the partner often died of a broken heart. Elaine had seen it happen. Shifters felt too intensely. Their emotions were too much a part of them, the meat holding their bones together. They couldn’t carry on without their mates, or so she’d been told over and over again.
As far as she was concerned, there might as well be a target on her forehead. It was only a matter of time before she faded away as well, despite trying so hard to be a good mom to her kids. They were the only things keeping her going.
God only knew she’d pretty much neglected any attempt at a career since Lloyd died. She’d been a stay-at-home mom ever since the kids were born, but she’d hoped to start working outside the home soon. Now it didn’t seem all that important. She and Lloyd had tucked a bit of money away, and she wouldn’t be wanting for anything for some time. Whenever she even contemplated filling out a job application, her vision blurred. So much for taking the initiative with her career.
She’d made a mess of her friendship with Connor as well.
Connor Church was in security at the Ursa Resort. He’d worked alongside her mate and was Lloyd’s best friend. When Lloyd was killed, Connor made a vow to look after his widow. He’d been so good, so kind, and Elaine had pushed him away.
Run! It’s what you do best.
She’d never forget the anguished crack in his voice when she turned from him. His words still haunted her.
“I’m sorry, Connor.” She wished he could somehow hear her whisper, despite the many miles between them.
Of all her friends on Gemini Island, she missed him the most. Even now, weeks after leaving him behind, she lay awake most nights, wondering if he hated her.
Once more, Elaine retrieved the party invitation from the drawer and stared at it. The lodge had been burned to the ground in the skirmish that claimed Lloyd’s life. It had taken months, and there had been delays because of the cold winter, but the lodge was finally ready to re-open.
If she had any real fortitude, she would go back and wish Ryland and the others well. She would seek out her friends Fleur and Lia and all the others.
She would face Connor and…and do what?
Apologize again? Make promises she couldn’t keep?
Try not to die?
