She might not be able to tell them about her shifter nature, but she appreciated the sentiment.
Maxine led her to the coffee table. “Now the first thing I tell all our newbies is I make the coffee strong, and you can have as much as you want. Care for a cup?”
“Please.”
While Maxine poured, she looked at Elaine from the side of her eye. “What was your husband’s name?”
“Lloyd.”
“I bet he was a fine man.”
“He was. One of the good guys.”
“I know it’s your first time in group, but if you feel comfortable, we’d love to know more about Lloyd.”
“I’d like that.”
“Excellent.” Maxine clapped her hands and raised her voice. “All right, everyone. Please take your seats.” Once they were all seated, she smiled at Elaine. “We have a new member tonight. Please welcome Elaine.”
They all said hello.
Maxine bobbed her head.
Elaine sipped her coffee for encouragement. “Thank you. I was nervous to come tonight, but it was time. It’s been almost a year since my husband, Lloyd, was murdered. It’s been a hard year, but I need to move forward.” She smiled. “I guess I should start at the beginning. Lloyd and I met in high school. I was the shy girl. He was the mysterious new kid…”
* * * *
“Why aren’t you eating your cake, sweetie?”
“I’m not hungry.”
Elaine sat next to Layla at the kid-sized picnic table. The other kids had long since devoured their slices of cake and had headed back into the enormous jungle gym of the indoor playground.
“Would you like to go play with Annie?” she asked, pointing out the birthday girl.
“No.” Layla sat still, her face wistful.
Elaine had been excited when the neighbor’s daughter had invited Layla to her birthday party. They’d been staying with her parents for a couple of months now. She was pleased to see both Layla and Andy had made friends their own ages in the neighborhood, but neither seemed overly enthusiastic about playing with those friends.
They spent more time talking about those they’d left behind on Gemini Island.
Andy used to ask questions at bedtime about his dad. Now he asked about Connor. Every night, Elaine had to field those questions and combat her emotions as they swarmed her. The kids missed him.
She missed him, too, and with a new ferociousness she’d never anticipated. Before, she’d been relying on him as her source of comfort. She was anything but comfortable now. She heard his voice in her head and thought she saw him in town once or twice. It was unsettling, feeling he was somehow all around her.
Every night, she went to bed thinking of him, and once she was in bed, her thoughts automatically shifted into sex-deprived gear. It couldn’t be helped. Her bear was miffed at being denied its man and seemed determined to make Elaine regret his absence in the most womb-clenching ways. Her old bed provided her with no rest, and it was because he wasn’t in it.
She missed the way he whispered her name when they made love and the way he smoothed his hand over her hip and breasts. She missed the sweet abrasion of his beard and the way he pinned her to the mattress so he could take control of her body.
It wasn’t just the sex, though. In fact, the hardest part was not being able to enjoy his bright personality and silly jokes. She missed his jovial nature and hated thinking she’d crushed it.
Almost two whole months without him. She’d wanted to call him but didn’t have the nerve. Instead, she got her updates from Fleur and Lia and a couple of the others. When she asked about Connor, she tended to get the same sorts of answers.
He’s keeping himself busy.
He’s taken on extra hours.
Oh, Connor? He’s okay.
