Elaine looked up and saw his expression. Something in her smile faltered. A shadow passed through her eyes, but she looked away so quickly Connor convinced himself he was seeing things.
They were happy. He loved her and she…well, he knew it was early but after everything they’d been through, she had to feel the same way he did. And if not, it had to happen soon. They were meant for each other. Their road to one another had veered, taking them both in different directions for a while, but it was straight and clear now. His mountain lion doted on her bear. Their bodies responded to each other with desire. Neither of them wanted the other to be unhappy.
It all had to count for something, didn’t it?
He loved her, and he would make her realize she loved him.
* * * *
A couple of days later, life returned to normal at the Ursa Resort, as normal as it would ever be. Connor confirmed with Ryland that he would be staying on the security team indefinitely. He no longer had any desire to ditch Gemini Island for Toronto. Here, he was home. Here, he might not be making contributions on a grand scale, but he was helping his own people, a people who had little in the way of formal support systems. The work they did at the Ursa was important to him, and he was excited to see what the future would bring.
In addition, and most important of all, he was helping those who were closest to him. If life had taught him anything recently, it was to hold his dear ones close and to never take them for granted. There were no guarantees in this life, not even for strong shape shifters. Connor wanted to be with Elaine, to be able to continue developing his relationship with her and the children.
They’d moved her back into her cabin now that the threat had been eliminated. Together with the kids, they spent a lot of quiet moments there, just enjoying each other’s company. Each night, Connor and Elaine fell into bed, clinging to one another. Not an hour went by when he didn’t want to tell her he loved her.
And yet he hadn’t yet. The words “I love you” stuck in his throat every time they occurred to him. Something was holding him back. Nerves. Bad timing. The fear of having her laugh in his face. Whatever it was, it was getting the best of him.
It occurred to him he’d never actually said those words to a woman before. He’d never been in love, and no matter how sexually active he’d been, he was never the sort of man to use the words lightly. They meant something, even if he didn’t always understand the depth of feeling behind them.
He did now.
When he looked at Elaine, everything in him felt light and airy and excited. He looked forward to being with her and wanted to learn everything that made her tick. He wanted to slay her dragons and put stars in her eyes.
However, Connor was all too aware those stars didn’t quite glitter just yet.
Something was on her mind.
He knew it every time he mentioned the future and she averted her gaze. He felt it when he moved inside her, late at night, and she held him the way she might hold on to a life preserver in a stormy sea. Not knowing what troubled her made him feel sick.
Run! It’s what you do best.
His own words came back to haunt him again and again. He hadn’t meant to hurt her then, but his insides had been rubbed raw upon learning she would disappear to Alaska. Now, whenever he sensed her retreating emotionally, that rawness returned. It scraped at his flesh, and although his wounds weren’t visible, he felt the toughening of every scar.
This was the first time in his life his happiness was wrapped up in one woman. Elaine had all the power in their relationship, or so it seemed. She certainly had power over him. She had the ability to destroy him, and he was sure they both knew it.
He was already bracing himself. Every day he awoke, expecting the worst, thankful to have whatever he had with her.
One night, after they put Layla and Andy to bed, Connor caught Elaine gazing out the living room window. He moved behind her and hugged her from behind. “Nice night, huh?”
“Yeah.” Her voice was quiet and pensive. “The snow’s finally melting. I saw the tips of some crocuses today. Spring is on its way.”
He spun her around in his arms and brushed a stray hair off her cheek. “Do you really want to talk about crocuses, or do you want to tell me what’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong, Connor. I’ve just been doing a lot of thinking, that’s all.”
His stomach pitched. “Is it about Lloyd?”
“No.” She placed a hand on his arm and smiled. “Not this time. I’ve been thinking about my parents, actually. They’ve been in contact and want to see me and the kids. It’s been too long. I want to visit them.”
“Of course.” Elaine’s folks lived about an hour away. “That would be good for you. I’ll drive you any time you want.”
Her smile faded. “Thanks, but I need to do this alone.”
Alone. Why did that word scare the shit out of him? “Okay, but if you’re worried about me getting time off work, Ry will understand.”
“It’s not that. I appreciate your offer, but this isn’t something you can do with me.” She inhaled and exhaled. “I’m going to tell my parents about me and the kids being shape shifters. It’s time they got the whole story.”
“Are you sure you want to do that? Not everyone has an easy time telling the humans in their lives, and not everyone can be trusted with that sort of information.”
