He smelled good, better than she remembered. It might have been the touch of cologne. Connor had never been the sort of man to get fussy with his grooming. Like most of the men on Gemini Island, he preferred to keep it casual. Shifter men didn’t tend to need a lot of help in that department anyway. When it came to good old-fashioned masculinity, they didn’t have to put in any effort. However, she couldn’t help thinking he might have tried a little harder today. His beard was trim, and his hair had been cut recently. Under his open jacket, he wore a nice fisherman’s sweater, one she’d never seen before. Everything about him looked and smelled clean and fresh, and she realized she didn’t want to let him go.
He was the closest she’d come to home in a long time, and it felt so good to have a strong man hug her hard.
Elaine squeezed his torso, grateful for the embrace.
After a moment, he cleared his throat and stepped back. He patted her head. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too. Connor, I—”
“Don’t say it.”
“No, I want to say I’m sorry.”
“There’s no need for apologies between us. You did what you had to do.”
“It’s not so much that I want to apologize for leaving. I want to apologize for the way I treated you before I left.”
She’d never forget how he’d happened upon her and their friend Fleur that day, how he overheard the things Elaine said out of misery.I’m surrounded by everything and everyone Lloyd loved. I just can’t be here anymore. When I see you all, I think of him and it hurts so much. And the worst part is having to see Connor day in and day out. They were best friends, but I can’t look at Connor without being reminded of what I lost. I can’t look at him anymore.
All he’d wanted to do was help, and she never wanted him to know how hard it was to accept his help. He’d heard in the worst possible way.
“Elaine, we’ve been through this before. I understand. It’s okay, I swear.” He grabbed her two pieces of luggage and nodded toward the path leading to the main part of the resort. They began walking, and the children followed. “I want to hear all about Alaska.”
“I don’t know. You think you can handle the excitement?”
“You know me. I live for excitement.”
She laughed. It bubbled in her throat. It had been a while since she’d laughed, and the sensation was odd. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. “You look good. I like the beard.”
“Ry says it’s a cookie duster.”
Another weird laugh popped out of her mouth. “It’s not. In fact, it’s very manly.”
“I may quote you. It’s quite possible I might have gotten some grief over this beard from my coworkers.”
“No way. Don’t listen to them. It’s like that time Lloyd got a buzz cut. Killian and Bart wouldn’t stop touching his hair…”
When she trailed off, Connor set the suitcases down and faced her. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I need to stop doing that. I need to stop inserting Lloyd into every sentence. I’m sure people are tired of hearing me talk about him.”
He grabbed her hands. In a move that surprised her, he brought them to his mouth and brushed his lips against them. His beard tickled her skin, but she liked it. “He was your mate, and he was our friend. No one would blame you. Elaine, I want you to know I’m here for you, however you need it. I may have, um, been a bit overbearing before, trying to help.”
“You didn’t mean it, and God knows I didn’t make it easy for you.”
“Nothing I couldn’t handle.” He sighed. “Are you hungry?”
“Famished.”
“Let’s get you some food. Why talk about feelings when we can eat, right?”
“Right.” Elaine was happy for a change of topic. There were always so many emotions brewing right under her skin, like bruises that just wouldn’t fade.
She knew Connor had his own bruises, and she wouldn’t, for the life of her, dig her foot in where it hurt. Lloyd’s passing had affected him too, probably more than anyone else on the island.
She’d allowed her pain to isolate her before and she had tried so hard to escape the sympathetic glances and hugs, but she knew Connor endured his own isolation as well. Lloyd may have been her mate, but he was Connor’s wingman and confidante. Although Connor had other strong friendships on the island, he and Lloyd had clicked in a way she’d never seen two men click before. Theygoteach other. They idolized the same athletes, drank the same beer, and even anticipated each other’s reactions to events in the news. She used to joke that they were more suited as mates than she and Lloyd were, which always caused Lloyd to tackle her with hugs and kisses.
Connor still had to be suffering, too.
