CHAPTER 1
A Mother First & Foremost
“This little boy gon’ make me ring his goddamn neck when I see him, D. I swear.”I gripped my steering wheel tight and pressed my foot harder on the gas to give my truck a little more speed.
It was two in the morning on a Friday night, and here I was, practically flying down the highway to get to the Bronx. The heat in my Range Rover was up, but it had nothing on my anger. I was boiling inside. I had tossed my Moncler coat into the passenger seat an exit ago just to cool off. I even felt my edges sweating under the silk scarf I had on to keep my freshly wrapped quick weave in place. My cousin, Danae, had been trying her best to calm me down via FaceTime, but tonight, her attempts were futile. Tonight, my son, Kaleb Jr., aka KJ, was about to see me in rare form.
Danae often tried to play KJ’s savior. He was her godson, and she didn’t play about him. We both got on his ass when he went left, but she always drew a line at a certain point – a line that I sometimes had to remind her that I had no problem heel toeing on if I felt the need to. KJ was getting ahead of himself, and it was beginning to be a bit much.
“Where you at now?”she asked.
Glancing up at the phone mounted on my dashboard, I could see her snuggled up under her covers. I’d been in the same position thirty minutes ago, watching reruns ofLiving Single, when I realized that my son was playing in my face once again.
“Just got off the exit,”I replied.
“Don’t do my boy too bad, Butterfly,”she reasoned, calling me by my nickname.“You gotta save your energy for the hoes at the nursing home in a couple hours. You know it takes you a full twenty-four to get your mind right once you’re pissed off.”
Shaking my head, I scoffed.“And so does he. Which is why I don’t wanna hear none of that shit tonight, D. Every time I give KJ an inch, he fuck around and take Southern Boulevard. And ever since we moved back up this way, he’s been showing his ass. He asked to go chill with his cousins after school. I said cool even though I hate him hanging out in the projects. The stipulation was that he be home by 11 and stay out the way. Here it is, two in the damn morning! I ain’t heard from him since four this afternoon. He ain’t called, texted, sent a bat signal or nothing. And when I call him, his phone is going straight to voicemail. And you know my rule – that phone should never die.”
“Yes. I know the rule. And I’ve always said that it was unrealistic. Phones die, boo.”
“He has a portable charger,”I countered.
“He’s a boy. You know how boys can be.”
“A boy with a 3.8 GPA. He ain’t the least bit slow. Slick, yes. But I’ma show his ass who the perm around this motherfucka,”I vowed.
I’d had plenty of conversations with KJ about keeping me in the loop when he was out, but it seemed like every time he got around his father’s side of the family, especially his uncle, heshowed his ass. The fact that he was a fifteen-year-old, young, Black man in America wasn’t at the forefront of his mind, but it plagued me every time he walked out my front door. I’d been a single mom and divorcee for all of a year. And while being divorced became easier day by day, KJ wasn’t making this single parenting shit easy at all.
The closer I got to the projects, the more the streetlights disappeared. The average person would be scared to come through the Bronx at this time of night. I wasn’t the least bit fazed. I was on ten and just didn’t give a fuck. That and the fact that no matter how much I tried to distance myself from him, people knew who my ex-husband was.
I knew things would be different once Kaleb Sr. got locked up. However, lately it had been feeling like KJ was testing my gangsta, and I didn’t like that shit at all. Kaleb had always been the disciplinarian, and while I was no pushover, I never needed to step in because his word was more than enough. Now, I had to show my son that I was indeed Derrick Anderson’s daughter – a problem.
“Well, if his phone is going to voicemail, it’s likely dead. I’m not saying don’t chastise him when you pull up. Just… take it easy. It’s really Koric’s ass that’s the problem.”
“Yeah, well, Koric ain’t my son. KJ is.”
“True, but you know KJ only gon’ go as far as his uncle lets him while he’s over that way.”
She wasn’t lying about that, and I had every intention on checking Koric too. Although I knew he loved my son, his ass was a bad influence and always had some shit going on, quite the opposite of his brother – my ex-husband. While Kaleb was quiet and sneaky with his shit, Koric was loud and always in the mix. Kaleb was the mastermind behind a lot of their street dealings,hence the reason he was serving time on a RICO case. It was always something with the Smith men.
“I’m pulling up to the building now. I’ll call you as soon as I make it back home.”
“Okay. You got your mini me with you?”
“Sure do,”I said, referring to the .380 I had tucked away in my Celine purse.
“Alright. Don’t forget.”
“I won’t. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
Ending the call, I double parked in front of the building Koric was known to hang out in. Pulling my coat on, I made sure my gun was within reach inside my bag before grabbing it and stepping out of the car. As always, there was a cluster of people mobbing outside, in front of the building, and even more inside the lobby from what I could see, as I stepped onto the sidewalk. It didn’t matter that it was freezing outside. Smoke clouded the air as I approached the steps, and as expected, I was greeted with flirtatious catcalls that I ignored.
“Wassup, Ma?” One young boy that looked KJ’s age tried it.
“Who you here to see?” another one spoke, cutting his eyes at me and licking his lips.
