Max.
He blinked against the lights, scanning the room until his gaze collided with mine. For a moment, everything else fell away—the noise, the lights, even Lucy’s wicked grin—just him and me.
“Oh, this is going to be fun,” Shana murmured beside me.
I wasn’t so sure.
Lucy clapped once, sharp as a gunshot. “Next!”
Max took center stage, shoulders stiff. For a moment, he looked like a man calculating every poor life choice that had ledto this. I nearly stood to go to him until I realized what I was doing.
Lucy purred into the mic, “Oh, don’t be shy, sugar. Show us what you’ve got.”
The music hit—It’s Raining Men.
Max looked right at me and mouthed,You’ve got to be kidding me,then gave the ceiling a hopeless look, as if divine intervention might save him.
“You’ve got this!” I hadn’t realized I’d spoken aloud until Shana grabbed my arm.
“What are you doing?” She hissed. “Do you know him?”
I ignored Shana, my eyes still on Max.
He started awkwardly, swaying from foot to foot, the picture of reluctant resignation. The crowd began to snicker. Then one demoness wolf-whistled.
Was that me?
Max straightened, rolled his shoulders, and—oh no—winked.
“Well,” Shana muttered, “looks like someone has a crush. Let’s hope the boy remembers how to use his hips.”
Max leaned into it. He spun the mic stand, stumbled, caught it, and turned the blunder into a knee slide that made half the room erupt with surprised laughter. By the second chorus, he’d hit his stride. What he didn’t have in talent, he more than made up for in charm. He was athletic and funny, and he didn’t care about making a fool of himself.
He blew me a kiss, not at all worried about singling me out. Max did some hip thrusts that guaranteed the boy still knew how to use his hips, then pointed at me, clutched his heart, twirled the stand, and mimed fanning himself. Clearly, this was just to pass phase one of the contest. I mean, we barely knew each other. And while I felt this crazy, intense connection to the man, that didn’t mean he felt the same.
Maybe he was just using me? I mean, good ole’ Gabriel had been all-in until the moment of divine judgment. Then it was a ghost town, with me as the only resident. The demonesses loved Max. The laughter grew infectious—loud, wild, and unrestrained until the last note died away.
The room went silent for half a heartbeat. Then pandemonium. Applause, shrieking, stamping. Even Shana was clapping, eyes wide with reluctant admiration. He’d been utterly brilliant. I just wasn’t sure how I felt about things.
I couldn’t keep my eyes off him until I heard Lucy call my name. Reluctantly, I looked away from Max. There was Lucy, lounging in her chair, grinning like a cat at a cream factory.
“Well,” Lucy said, rising to her feet, voice purring through the mic, “Well, imagine that. I was thoroughly entertained. You may regain your dick with… upgrades.” Her gaze dropped deliberately to his lower half.
A shimmer of magic pulsed across the stage. Max froze, then looked down—and the expression on his face was pure, stunned relief. Where his smooth, non-existent dick used to be, a tall, thick piece of flesh now stood proudly at attention. Holy cannoli, the man was hung.
The first row of demonesses screamed like fangirls. My eyes were glued to his junk, and I briefly wondered how a girl would ever walk again after being invaded by that thing. Clearly, I needed a tutorial, and Gabriel was working with an inferior tool.
My jaw might’ve been on the floor.Apparently, Heaven doesn’t hand out all of the blessings.
Lucy’s laugh boomed through the mic. “Eyes up, darling,” she teased, snapping me out of it. My face burned hot enough to light a torch.
Max’s cheeks flushed scarlet, but his grin never faltered.
“Passed,” Lucy called out, grinning, basking in the chaos. “Next contestant!”
Max stumbled offstage, cheeks flushed, but smiling like a man who’d just survived a skydiving trip with a faulty parachute. It was then that I noticed the horns. Long and thick, like a bull’s, protruding out of the side of his head. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, how could I have missed them?
I couldn’t help it—I laughed, too.
