"I'm sorry, too." I tell him, slamming the poker down between his spread knees and finding my mark easily.
Brant howls in agony as the iron sears through his pants and blood pours out from the puncture. His face goes white as snow, the blood rushing to escape him like even his own body is sick of his shit.
I drop down to his level so that he can see me. "How's it feel?"
He doesn't try to answer me, but he doesn't need to. I know it hurts. But not as bad as what I'm going to do next.
"I know, even if you don't tell me. It hurts like hell, doesn't it? You smell that? Your flesh burning?" I laugh. "It's awful, huh? You're scared, too, I bet, because you know how this is going to end. There's only one way..."
He shakes his head, but the movement is slow and stiff, halted by the shock he's in.
"Think warm thoughts." I suggest, shoving him forward into the waiting fire.
His screams are swallowed by the sound of his screaming music, which is playing on speakers set up all around the house, echoing in every corner of the vast space.
"Brant's nuts roasting on an open fire..." I muse, holding him still all through his struggle... all the way until it stops.
Chapter 12
Nick
Isurvivedtheday,but I'm on edge now more than ever, as we pull into the church parking lot. I try my best not to glance toward the woods, the place where I know I left her body to sink below the surface of the lake.
It snowed this morning, so I'm sure that the ice has covered the spot where I dumped her in, but the townspeople have been out searching for her all day.I'vebeen searching for her all day, even though I know exactly where I left her.
"I know you're upset about your friend." Dad says, pressing the button to turn off the engine. "But you need to give it to God and stop worrying. You're letting the devil in with all this stress, son."
I don't tell him that I fear I already let the devil in when I killed her. It was an accident, and God forgives us all of our sins. I already prayed for forgiveness last night in the shower, and I woke feeling it had been granted. Unfortunately, there's no peace to be had when earthly justice is a thing people strive for.
Nikki's mom was at my house by lunchtime, all the kids in tow, on the verge of tears as she begged me for answers I pretended not to have.
I'm not a fucking monster.
I nevermeantto kill her; I loved her. A part of me always did, and a part of me always will.
She was my first real friend, my first kiss, the first person to understand what my life was really like behind closed doors. I never meant to kill her, just like I never meant to kill her boyfriend. But Noah had a way of pressing matters and sticking his nose in places it doesn't belong, and to keep my secrets, I didn't really have a choice.
"I'm sure this is all just some big misunderstanding. She probably ran off with someone and forgot to tell her mom she was staying the night. Or maybe she was ashamed... her mother wouldn't look fondly upon her staying out all night sharing a bed with a man, after all."
"Mm." I nod, content to let him think that she's just off being a teenager, doing things that would bring shame to her reputation. "You're probably right."
"I mean, we both know how she always was..."
I clench my jaw without turning to look at him, and my father must pick up on my irritation, because he sighs. "I know she's your friend, but she was always trouble. Never wanted to do what she was told."
When I stay silent, he sighs again, bracing his hand on the steering wheel as he looks out at the church he's dedicated his life to.
My father is an actor, and not particularly a good one. How he's convinced so many people that he's the simple, God-fearing man he pretends to be, I think I'll never know.
"They'll be calling the search off soon." I say, more to assure myself that they won't find her yet.
I spent hours walking through the woods earlier, but the volunteers were told to stay away from bodies of water and to leave them for the professionals to search when they came in on Saturday. It's a stroke of luck, on my part, that it all unfolded when it did. People can only sacrifice so much of their time on Christmas Eve... me included. I stayed to play my part, to make sure they didn't discover her if I could help it, but I left once Alice's questions started to feel more like accusations.
Brant and I discussed this thoroughly, making sure we were on the same page before we parted ways last night. We confirmed as much through texts earlier today. Neither of us has tried to reach out to Cole since he abandoned us. I definitely got the feeling that his plan was to deny until the end, so I'm not exactly worried. Mostly I'm just pissed that he left us to deal with this mess all on our own.
"I know you want to save everyone, son, but some people are beyond help. She's an adult, and nothing bad ever happens in Church and Lakes. If she's missing, it's because she wants to be. Just pray for her to come to her senses, huh?"
I bite my tongue against all the things I could say in response to that and nod instead.
