“What if I can’t love him, mom?” My stomach was this ball of panic. It rolled, and I wanted to puke.
“What?” She laughed.
“That’s my fear. What if he is my Goddess-given mate, and after everything we did to each other? After all the pain, and hurt, and bullshit, all I am going to feel towards him is anger, or hatred…or nothing.”
My mom grabbed my face. “Being someone’s mate isn’t easy. But you are overthinking it. Do you remember when you found out Brandon was your mate in your last life?”
“Yes, why?”
“I need you to really think about it. You hated Brandon. Your entire childhood, throughout school, yet you mated him.” She looked at me. “Why do you think that is?”
“At the time? Because I knew I was meant to be with him and nothing mattered before we were mated, only after.”
She nodded. “Exactly.” She poked me. “All this bull won’t matter. As the Goddess tells us, what happened before the mate bond snaps in place fades away, because we are beholden to no one until our mate.” She kissed me. “You’re overthinking again.”
I just sighed. She was right. “Fine. You’re right.” I shut my laptop and stretched my neck. “What time is it, anyway?”
“Way past your bedtime.” She looked at the clock. “You have three hours to sleep before you have to go to work.” I groaned.
“I’m not going in tomorrow. I’m going to call in.”
“What. Why?” My mom stood and grabbed my laptop and slid it on to my dresser.
“Because.” I groaned as I stood. “I have to go to the university to grab something.” I stretched out my back from hunching over the laptop and rubbed my neck.
“What do you have to grab?” My mom was heading to the cabin, and I grabbed my laptop to follow. I turned off the lights and sealed the door behind me, so even if someone found a way into my house, they couldn’t follow us to the cabin.
“Apparently letters.”
My mom turned to look back at me from my door. “Letters? From who?”
I lifted my shoulder. “Rowan…I think.” My mom lifted her brow, but I shrugged. “Thoth said something about the letters, and daddy said he decided for me.” I sighed as I slid into my bed. “I guess I’ll find out tomorrow.” I pulled my phone out and messaged Rick.
Amy-Hey, I’m not feeling the greatest, and I have to run back to the university. I won’t be coming in this morning.
Then I plugged my laptop in and my cell phone. My mom, ever the mom, came and kissed me goodnight. Then I was already drifting to sleep as she shut the door.
I felt like I had just closed my eyes when my alarm went off. I groaned as I rolled over and shut it off. “Seriously?” I slammed my head against the pillow as I saw the light on my phone. I cracked an eye as I clicked on the notification. Three texts.
I sighed as I heard everyone down stairs already moving. “Fuck.” I clicked the first message.
Rick- Take your time, but since you have them, once you are free, continue with the box of doom. I need all those notes organized. Thanks.
I couldn’t even take a day off. I wanted to roll over and go back to sleep, but I knew I couldn’t. I groaned as I noticed the next text. Brandon was next.
Brandon-Good morning, baby. I can’t wait to see you today. I’ll meet you at your office and we can have breakfast together.
Fuck that. Just another reason to stay home. I deleted that message before I stretched, then I got out of the bed. I walked to the bathroom as I clicked on the last message. That was from a number I didn’t recognize. I clicked on it as I stripped, and I turned on the water.
Unknown-Amy, I know you are probably spiraling about everything that we discussed last night.
I furrowed my brow and then realized once my brain kicked in that the number was obviously Thoth. I could see that he had a countdown in the corner, like Rick did when he sent me a message that deleted itself.
Oh crap.
Thoth-I need you to know that you don’t have to. Whatever happens, or whatever is decided. I will always be your friend. I will always be in your life.
The message disappeared right as I finished it.
