But it was Toya who dropped down across from me, grabbing Carly. “Amy, you can’t.”
I turned to her, and I struggled to find the words. “I know you all would watch over her.” I bit my lip as I turned back to my grandmother. “Can the spell survive if I die?”
My grandmother stared at me for a few seconds, silver tears falling from her cheeks. “I don’t know.”
“Then who would?” I squeezed her hand.
She gripped my hand back. “The goddesses, maybe. Or the gods you bound the spell with.” I nodded once and closed my eyes.
“Amy, I forbid you from taking your own life.” My mother snarled.
I opened my eyes, and she reeled back. “You don’t get to tell me what to do anymore.”
She stammered. “I’m your mother.”
“AND I’M YOUR QUEEN.” I screamed, my pain and anger rearing its head. The group surrounding us went quiet. “I am not asking your permission to do anything.” I glared at her. “You may be my mother, but you are not blameless here. You knew.” She stumbled against my father’s chest. “I am not stupid enough to believe that once you and Daddy started talking again that he didn’t come clean to you. That’s why you wanted me to read the letters. That’s why you were pushing me to forgive Rowan. Not because you liked him, but because you were trying to undo all the damage your mate caused me. Your child.” I snarled again, Nix and Megan’s anger twirling with mine. “Now you will forgive me as I fucking ignore what you want.” I closed my eyes. “Selene…Hecate…I know you are watching. I have given you everything I had. I have given you two lives. I have devoted myself to following everything you have asked.” I took a moment to swallow my pain. Carly’s tiny hand slid into mine, and I failed. A sob broke free. “I just want to know.” I looked down at Carly, and she smiled.
“It’s okay momma. I understand.” She smiled as her eyes grew red and tears fell. “You will visit with Daddy still right?” She understood. This little girl who had lost everything was understanding my pain, but my own selfish parents couldn’t.
“I don’t know.” Selene’s voice was soft.
“You made the spell with other gods. So we would need to check with them, but if the spell was with me, the answer wouldbe no. The spell would fail as soon as your souls took flight.” Hecate’s voice was matter of fact, but when I looked at her, I saw black-tinted tear tracks on her face.
“You’re crying.” I sounded surprised.
“You’re my daughter, and you are in pain. Of course I’m crying.” She gave me a sad smile. Her words were meant to support me, but they just made me realize the difference.
I turned to glare at my mother. I pointed to the Goddess. “This is what love looks like when you don’t taint it with your own agenda.”
Both of my parents looked like I had stabbed them. They dropped to the ground with their arms hanging at their sides. “Amy…” They both raised a hand to reach for me but I turned back to the Goddesses.
“Did you know?” My question was cold.
But both shook their heads. Selene dropped to her knees first. “I cannot see the future. I can only see when things take a turn. I have given everything I could to support you. To save you from your last fate.” She turned to Rowan and ran a hand down his head. “I didn’t want this outcome.”
“Bring him back.” I winced at the command in my voice. “I’m sorry.” I looked up and met her stare. “Please. I’ll do anything. Bring him back, or let me go.” My hand gripped my chest as what was left of my heart throbbed in pain.
Selene cupped my face. “I can’t.” She kissed my brow as a whimper slipped from my lips. She stood and moved back, Hecate taking her spot.
She lifted my face and kissed my brow too. “Let’s see if the spell will survive without you first. Then we can see what our options are.” She shifted to the Maiden, and I saw sorrow matching my own mirrored back at me. “I’m sorry you have to go through this pain.”
I nodded. “Me too.” I smiled, but it was broken, just like me.
Hecate looked at Selene, who just nodded. “Gaia, Pontus, Uranus, we have need of you.” Selene’s voice was powerful as she shouted the call. I felt the ripple go out, calling the gods to us.
One by one they came to us. The ground bubbled, and Gaia stepped out. She looked around and her gaze fell on me and my dead mate. “I’m sorry, my love.” She walked over to Selene. “Why did you call?”
A column of water shot out of the ground like a fountain, and Pontus stepped out. His gaze snapped to mine, and he tilted his head. “I said I was interested in you one time and your mate dies…” He smiled, but there was none of his earlier cockiness. His gaze swept over everyone, and he shook his head. “I like you on your knees less than I thought I would, little wolf.” He walked next to Gaia and turned to Selene. “You called?”
Thunder rumbled in the distance, and a bolt of lightning cracked across the clear sky. A soft thumping could be heard, then a loud whistle that had everyone looking at us. A missile aimed directly at us slammed into the ground. Uranus pushed up from his knee, eyes fully on Rowan. He stared for a long moment before he turned to me. “Godling, what can I do?”
And just like that, the tears started again. I threaded my fingers into Rowan’s and pulled his cooling hand to my chest. “Help me save him.” I stared at my mate for a second. His smile came to my mind, and I wept. It took me a minute to gather myself before I looked back at the five gods. “I did everything you wanted. I saved them. All of your creations are safe. I will help Carly bring home the lycans. I will spend the rest of my life worshipping all of you. Just help me bring him back.” I dropped his hand and shuffled over to the gods. Then I bowed, placing my head against the ground. “I will do whatever you need from me, as long as it is within my power, and it’s not evil. Just bring my mate back.” I lifted back up to stare up at all the gods. “Please.” My lips quivered, and I had to bite them to stop it.
I knew I sounded broken. I was begging the gods to bring someone back from the dead. I turned to Selene. “You did it for Kane.” I turned to Rowan.
“I gave Kane a different soul to bring him back.” Selene’s gentle voice cracked. “Rowan already has two.” Selene shook her head.
“I have three…can’t you make him like me?” I begged, but she shook her head.
