“Why not?” Rowan moved closer. “You know they wouldn’t care.”
I nodded. “I know. But they need the safe space.”
He tilted his head. “The safe space?”
I started digging again. I heard the soft cries of Alannah and I nodded. “She needs the space to break. She needs to feel secure enough to break down, and she won’t be able to do it if I am.” I looked at him. “I can break down with you because you are my safe space.” I nodded towards the cabin. “And I’m theirs.”
Rowan’s face cycled through a million emotions, but it settled on one, and I watched as his face softened. “You stay strong for them so they can focus on their pain, and they know you will watch over them.” I nodded. “You are my safe space too.” He finally understood.
We silently got back to digging. The pit in my stomach stayed through it, though. Something was wrong at my father’s pack, and I needed to get back there. Every shovel of dirt, the sweat, the pain, got me closer to where I needed to be.
“That’s deep enough, you two.” My mother’s voice rang out over us, and we both jumped and spun. Her face was a mask of worry, but she smiled. “That’s deep enough.” I nodded and tossed up my shovel.
Rowan hopped up and walked over to Ternen. “Time to rest.” He picked him up gently and walked him over to my waiting arms.
“Wait.” Alannah stepped forward, her eyes full of panic. “I can’t do this.” She shook her head and grabbed for her mate, but my mom embraced her around her shoulders.
“You can.” Her soft whisper was full of her power. Her wolf was pumping out her calming aura, settling the panic in my friend’s eyes. “He was brave when he chased after you. Right?” Alannah turned to my mom and nodded, tears streaming down her face.
“He didn’t hesitate.” She swatted angrily at her tears. “He just charged the rogues.”
My mom cupped her cheeks. “Now it’s your turn to be brave.” Alannah searched her face and then turned to mine.
I nodded. “You have to be brave, Lan. Who else is going to tell your pups how brave their father was?”
She staggered back, but she nodded. “I will. Every day.” I opened my arms for Ternen as Rowan slid him to me.
Something new settled in me as I laid Ternen in the ground. A new chilling tiredness settled in my bones. I looked from the dirt wall of this grave towards the first I had dug alone, for Carl. I was tired of burying good wolves that deserved more from this world.
Carl deserved to watch his daughter grow up into an amazing young woman.
Ternen deserved to grow old with Alannah. He deserved to see his pups come into this world, and he deserved more than the shitty life he was stuck with in Vince’s pack.
“Rest well, Ternen. We will see you again.” I felt a single tear break free as I leaned over his body. I heard a soft gasp as I pulled back. “You deserved more than the hand you were dealt in this life. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to give it to you.” I stood to pull myself out of the grave and froze. Rowan was already there, wide-eyed, looking at my forehead. “What?”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Rowan stared at me for another long second before he traced my forehead with a finger. “You’re Goddess blessed.” He sounded breathless and surprised.
I nodded, staring into his eyes. “Yes…” I furrowed my brow. “I thought you knew.” A soft light rippled on his face, and I looked up to the sky, to see if the moon was trying to shine down on us through the clouds.
“I did.” He tilted his head, still staring at me. “But hearing it and seeing it are two very different things. This,” he waved his hand. “Is different.”
“What do you mean?” I looked from him to Alannah and then landed on my mother. “Mom?”
“Your mark…your eyes…they changed.” She pointed to her own forehead. “It was a normal Goddess Blessed mark, thecrescent moon. But now it’s more…” She trailed as she leaned closer. “I don’t know why.”
“More?” I looked back at Rowan. “ More how?”
He pulled his phone from his pocket and aimed it at my face. I heard the click of his camera as he took the photo. He turned the screen towards me, and my breath caught. “It’s more.” He agreed as he stared into my eyes. “And your eyes…they are silver.”
If I weren’t looking at photo proof of their words, I would have laughed. But they were right. My eyes were molten silver that shifted with a light burning from within. The crescent moon that I once carried was gone. In its place was a triple moon. An empty circle flanked by crescents on both sides. Curling vines trailed down my temples and star-shaped flower blossoms bloomed on their tendrils. All of it pulses with a soft glow, like moonlight shining from under my skin.
I looked up from the phone when I heard tiny footsteps coming from the cabin. Carly was coming back, and that meant something was wrong. I pulled myself from the grave just as she came to a stop at the foot of the hole. “Hello Pandia.” Her soft white eyes saw more than she let on. Her soft, chubby face held a soft smile, but that smile made it seem like she was hiding the secrets of the universe. It was unsettling. She giggled, as if she had read my mind.
“Pandia?” I recoiled from the name, but it settled in my chest; a soft glow of light flickered under my skin. “My name is Amy.” I sounded foolish to myself. Carly knew my name. “You know my name, pup.”
She laughed, a sultry laugh that had no business coming from a little girl. “Yes, your name is Amy. But you are the Pandia. And you know I am more than that, Pandia. I am a Shaman, the eyes to the past, present and future. I am the warning call in the middle of the night when the world turns dark.” She tilted herhead; her little pigtail shifted over her shoulder. “But I think you already knew that, about both of us. Even if you don’t want to admit it.”
