Thoth:I don’t think I would survive without you…
And then the last message pulsed on the screen. I could feel his anger and frustration through the computer.
Thoth:WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!
I reread all of his messages and I felt a pained crushing weight in my chest. I made him worry. I made him panic, and I felt horrible. “Why do I feel bad?” I whispered to the screen.
“Did you do something wrong?” I jumped and looked up to find Alannah at the door with a mug of coffee. “Sorry. I was just bringing you your coffee when I heard you whisper the question.” She smiled. “I didn’t mean to intrude.”
I smiled and waved her in. “You didn’t. I was just confused by my feelings.” I laughed. I pointed at my computer. “I had to get it fixed, and I missed a call with an acquaintance. She has been close to me, and helping me with my human business side hustle. She was worried about me, panicked really, and I felt terrible about it.”
“So not a friend?”
I shrugged. “She’s helped me a lot. We talked a lot over the computer but never met, or even saw, each other.” I sat back. “I don’t know if you could call that a friendship.”
Alannah set my cup on the desk and smiled. “I think you are focused on the wrong things. So what if you have never met? Didyou talk to her about life, about stuff that wasn’t related to your business?”
I nodded. It was hard to keep track of what I could say in front of the damn cameras. “Yeah, she knows a lot about my life, and I know about hers.”
“Then stop diminishing your relationship. You feel what you feel. You can make friends online. I mean, humans fall in love over the internet…why can’t we make friends?” She turned and left me to think over her words.
Chapter Fifty-Three
Humans fall in love…
The words bounced around in my head. There was no fucking way. I turned to look at my wolves, who were sitting comfortably.There is no Gods damn way.
Nix snorted as she looked at Megan.She’s really trying to convince us…when we share her fucking soul and already know the truth.
Megan shrugged. I wasn’t going to point it out to her. She ran to her computer every night for months, talking to the man. If she wanted to be stupid, that was her prerogative.
They both looked at me and I staggered back.YOU KNEW!
Both shrugged. Look. Nix stepped closer and ran her side down the barrier.After Brandon. I wasn’t going to agree to any mate. But then you met Rowan.
And while we both liked him.Megan pressed against the barrier, sending love.There were too many things holding you both back. Including us.
What are you guys even talking about?
Nix sighed. She pulled back and looked at her paws.I knew you loved Rowan. We both did. And before we realized Erubus was Rowan, I refused to agree to him. I was so hung up on Erubus that you and Rowan both ended up hurting each other.
It wasn’t because of you. I cut in, but she just looked at me.
Megan shook her head.Erubus randomly comes and visits.She looked away. We all discussed everything.
I felt like I was hit with a sledgehammer.What do you mean Erubus visits?
Nix looked away.After everything happened at the cabin…he started to show up, pressing against the outside and calling to talk to me. But it was Megan that answered. I was still too pissed to look at him.
So Rowan knows about you?I turned to Megan, but she nodded her head.
He promised to keep everything a secret.Megan looked at her paws.But we all eventually sat down and talked. He explained that, much like Nix, he was too focused on her to realize the pain he was causing Rowan.
Rowan was in pain? The thought hurt more than I wanted to admit.What does this have to do with Thoth? Ididn’t want to hurt because of Rowan again.
Just listen.Megan sighed.Rowan was head over heels in love with you. But he refused to select a mate when Erubus didn’t agree. Sound familiar.
Nix finally met my eyes.And you had two of us to make agree. I was too hung up on a wolf, and Megan was still trying to get over Brandon. We ruined that relationship for you.
