“What if we hadn’t met our mates yet?” Or decided to reject them? But I kept that thought to myself.
Toya lifted her shoulder. “I guess it depends. Alpha females have the intense need to nest. Our entire drive is to take care of our packs, our families, our men and our pups.”
I felt my stomach drop. “I have no pack under my care. My family is broken. I have no pups, and no man…”
“Maybe you wolf is acting this way because she is unsteady. You have nothing and no one to watch over. So the first sign of getting one of her desires threw her nesting into overdrive?” Toya looked at me and I could feel my cheeks redden. “Look.” She grabbed my hand. “I know things are weird between you and the king, and you might not be mates…are you mates?” She stared at me for a moment, but then moved on. “Whatever. But with your parents being away, your pack is in hiding. You’re too young for pups. Maybe, just maybe, that when things became so intense with the king, and us forming this group, your wolf’s nesting kicked in.”
“This group?” I looked at her. “You mean the girls?” Toya nodded.
“You feel responsible for us, don’t you? I know I feel responsible for everyone.” Toya smiled.
I thought about it for a minute, but I knew she was right. “I do. I think that’s why I started the training.”
Toya nodded. “I had something I wanted to talk to you about, and I promise we will swing back around, but I don’t want to forget about this.”
I pushed up on the cushions and turned to her. “What’s up?”
“Thora…” Toya started, and I had to think for a moment. “She was there the first day in the cafeteria ?” She prompted further.
“Right…” I thought about the brunette. “She was the girl that came over from Nina’s camp. But I haven’t seen or heard from her in a minute.” I scratched behind my ear. “What’s up with her?”
Toya nodded. “That’s her. She wants to know why we pushed her out. She wants to train with us.”
No.Megan’s voice startled me.
Megan? Where have you and Nix been?
I can’t talk Amy. Just listen to me when I say that Nix and I feel the same on Thora. The answer is no.Then she was gone again.
Toya was staring at me and I realized I had gone quiet. “No.” I would listen to my wolves. “My wolf doesn’t feel a connection to her, and I don’t trust her.”
I watched Toya settle. “Good.” Her answer startled me a bit.
“Good?”
She nodded. “I was worried you were going to say yes.”
I laughed. “Why?”
“I don’t trust her. Never have. But I thought she was already your friend when she came over with us, but when I saw youdidn’t know her, I was thrown.” Toya picked at her nails. “My wolf doesn’t trust her.”
I laughed. “Neither does mine.” I settled into my new couch and I felt a content filled purr work its way up from my chest. I had to shake my head and push up off the couch before I embarrassed myself even more.
Toya stood with a groan. “Is there anything else coming today?” We both looked around the room and stared at the new couch and love seat. Both were a soft grey that was over plush. I knew as soon as I saw them with Sterling, I needed them.
I shook my head. “The chair was on back order.” I smiled when I thought of my reading chair. It was a double wide seat with a soft plush cover. That one really made Nix want to purr.
Just the idea of curling up with a book as Rowan made dinner. Another purr worked its way out and I froze. What the hell was I thinking?
Rowan is not mine. Not now…maybe ever.
I needed to pull away from these thoughts before I hurt myself even more than I already was. I felt tears spring to my eyes and I looked at Toya.
“Hey…are you alright?” She came to my side and I shook my head.
“I fucked up.” I answered honestly for the first time since everything happened between me and Rowan.
“Talk to me.” I pulled her back to the couch, and I unloaded.
