“I know.” She nodded. “I know he loves me. But I’m not the same woman he fell for.”
“You made yourself small.” I leaned into her hand as she cupped my cheek.
“I did.” She agreed.
“Why?” I always wanted to know.
“Because.” She huffed out a breath. “The men in Vince’s pack expect weak or stupid women. They need the women who fall in line and don’t question their decisions or else they feel small and lash out.” Her eyes found mine. “I made myself small so that you would learn to make yourself small.” I felt a tear hit our entwined hands. “And I’m sorry for it. I never wanted you to make yourself small, but to survive in this pack, we needed to.” I felt her squeeze my hand and I nodded.
“Yeah.” I thought back to my first life, and she was right. The men in Vince’s pack expect dumb or weak women, including their Luna.
“I feel like you made yourself small in your first life. Small enough that even Shannon felt big enough to walk all over you. And I am so sorry for that.”
“Don’t be.” I shifted and leaned my head against her shoulder. “Without my first life, I would never have made it this far in this life. Without being small, I wouldn’t have realized just how big I could be, how strong I could be, how powerful I could be.” I drew in a deep breath. “Without being with Brandon and losing my child, my life, my everything, I would have never realized what kind of man I want in my life.” My mind flashed to Rowan, and I felt my heart break a little. “And I wouldn’t have realized what I was willing and not willing to accept from my mate. I needed to learn everything Brandon and my baby offered so that this time around, I could have my Lycan, my wolf, and my power.This time around, I could be as strong as I am without any of the excuses or the expectations to make myself smaller.” I nudged her. “I need to find the courage to be who the goddess needs me to be. So I don’t regret it. You taught me what I needed to learn, when I needed to learn it.”
Another tear hit my hands. “Promise?” Her voice was small, and I knew she was feeling guilty.
“Of course.” I heard her sniffle, and then she laughed as she shook her head. “What?” I lifted my head and stared at her.
“Once again, you are acting more like my mother instead of my child.” She swiped at her tears. “I’m failing you.”
“No. Not at all.” I kissed her cheek. “You are showing me it is okay to need comfort and support, no matter your age. That being older doesn’t mean being emotionless.”
My mother shook her head and kissed me. “I’m going to go.”
“Are you going to keep up the act?” I didn’t want to ask her, but I needed to.
“Yeah, plus this gives me yet another reason to hate Morgan.” I snorted, and she smiled. “Bye baby.” She got up and walked out my door.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Istretched my neck as I walked into the cafeteria. Sleeping on my couch was about as comfortable as you assume. I felt my neck pop, and I wanted to groan. I shook myself as I headed to the line to grab breakfast. I needed food and caffeine as soon as possible.
I grabbed a tray and waited for my turn. I felt myself wobble on my feet. I was more tired than I thought.
It’s also the emotional side of things that is weighing you down. Megan’s voice called from the darkness of the forest in my mind.Last night wiped you out. First it was Toya’s emotions, then your own, and you ended the night with your mother’s emotions pressing down on you.
It takes a toll.Nix agreed, and I had to nod. They were right. I was physically and emotionally exhausted. If I could havemissed today I would have, but I set this meeting up last night with everyone and we had a plan to make.
“Excuse me.” A soft voice called from behind me. I turned to see an omega male.
“Yes?”
His eyes widened. “It’s your turn to grab food.” He pointed to the line, and I turned back to realize I was just standing there.
“Thank you.” I smiled back at him and moved down the line, filling my plate. I grabbed two coffees because I needed the boost and turned to pay, but the woman waved her hand.
“As of the announcement yesterday from our king, all food from now on will be free, except the prepared dinner kits.”
“Thank you.” I turned to leave, but then I heard a crash behind me and turned to see the omega on his hands and knees, trying to pick up the spilled food and a group of young men standing around him, pointing and laughing. Instantly Nix’s hackles her raised, and Megan slunk out of the forest, teeth bared.
Neither of my wolves would stand by as someone was bullied. I placed my tray back on the counter at the cashier. The cashier’s eyes widened as she saw my face, but she just whispered. “I’ll keep your food here.”
I nodded and walked back to the male on the ground. He was softly whispering, “I’m sorry, it’s my fault.”
The men were still laughing. But I just walked over and slapped all their trays up and onto their clothes. Their laughter stopped instantly.
“What the fuck do you think you are doing?” The first guy faced me and I couldn’t see any recognition. He had no idea who I was. Good, this will make it so much better.
