“Yes,” I pause and Harley taps my thigh, encouraging me to tell the truth, “No acutally. I mean, physically I’m fine.”
“Okay…”
“Mom, I called because I’ve missed you and Dad.” I have to pause again, my eyes begin to water, “I know it’s hard. I know that all you see when you look at me is Jordan, but I misshaving parents. I miss you guys cheering me on at games. I miss spending the holidays with you both.”
The line remains silent for a moment before a choked sob comes through the phone, and the fissure in my heart cracks open a little further.
“I-I’m sorry Mom. I didn’t mean to make you upset.” I add on through my own tears.
“Collins, my sweet boy. I feel terrible about the way that your father and I handled the passing of your brother. I regret every day not trying harder to make you feel seen and loved, for not reminding myself that I had two sons and one of them was feeling just as much, if not more, pain than we were. We miss you so much and we’d love a chance to get to know this version of you.”
“It’s okay, it wasn’t easy for any of us, but I’d like that too. Would you guys want to come to a game, maybe?” Apprehension laces my tone because I don’t know where they’d like to start, where we’d all be comfortable reacquainting ourselves with each other.
My mom clears her throat before speaking, “I think a hockey game may be too much, but if you’re free in a few weeks, I’d love to cook for you.”
“I understand, just know that invitation always stands.”
“I’ll remember that. We’ll see you in a few weeks, okay. We love you.”
“Love you too.” I hang up the phone and heave a deep breath out, trying to process every emotion and words that were traded between my mom and I.
“You handled that really well, from the parts I heard at least.” Harley mentions from beside me.
“Thank you. That was tough, but I’m glad that I did it.”
“Me too.”
“You’ll come to dinner with me?” I question, hoping the answer isn’t no, because I don’t know if I can handle this without her.
“Absolutely.”
It’s family skate night. Honestly, one of my favorite nights of the year, I have my friends, the kids, and Harley but I can’t help but feel like people are missing. Jordan and I would’ve been racing back and forth across the rink much like Dom and Conrad do now. My parents would’ve been cuddled up by the hot cocoa stand watching us act like fools, but I gave up inviting them to stuff like this a long time ago.
“Hey, can you help me tie these up?” Harley asks where she’s sitting down in front of me. My Manta Rays hoodie covers her and dark skinny jeans mold to her thighs perfectly. A picture of perfection with two loose braids and light makeup sitting on her face.All mine.
“Always.” I drop to one knee in front of her, lifting her foot over my leg so that I can lace her up properly. I work quickly, ready to get her out onto the ice with me. When Kodi and Mav showed up to the first family skate night two years ago, I couldn’t help but stare at her as she and Sin attempted to skate around the rink, being too stubborn to ask for help.
“You feel like your skating skills have improved at all?” I ask, helping her stand, she wobbles for a moment before righting herself.
“Definitely, I’ve been to three of these now and I have a pro to help keep me balanced.” A cheeky grin spreads across her face as she begins to walk toward the ice.
“Oh my God! Look at Bella go!” she squeals excitedly, pointing to where Mav and Bella skate side by side. Bella’s cheeks puff out air as she pushes her little legs to keep herself moving.
“She’s doing so well! I can’t believe she’s already moving so easily on her own.” I respond happily.
“Go, Bella, go!” Kodi claps excitedly as she watches them skate. Bella turns her head to her Mama, which causes her to lose her balance, but Mav’s there to catch her before she hits the ground, and they’re off to the races again.
“Alright, let’s skate Peppermint.” I step out onto the ice first, with Harley following, her hand in mine.
I move a little faster than Harley at first before she huffs, “Some of us don’t skate five days a week. Slow down!”
“Sorry.” I slow my pace to match hers, forgetting that for some people skating isn’t like walking and that I’m not in a conditioning or a game. I’m enjoying a casual skate with my friends, my girl, and my teammates.
We skate a few laps as Harley finds her footing before I turn on my heel, skating backward so I can watch her move toward me. A light smile graces her face, the occasional laugh slipping out as she loosens up, enjoying herself more and more with each lap.
Eventually, Tate rolls up beside me, Hayden in his arms, “take him for a few laps so I can skate with Darcy?
“You got it. Hey, Hayden! Want to go so fast?” I ask my nephew, who claps his chubby hands, a small, toothy smile across his reddened cheeks.
