“You are ashamed that you’re here. With me.”
“No, that’s not it.”
“Sure it is. I’m my father’s son, after all.”
“In Selnoa, his reputation transfers to you. You can’t pretend it doesn’t exist. Thisisthe Crossbow mansion. My daughter will wonder what I’m doing here and who I’m with. She will tell her dad, who will use this against me in court. You coming here and sweeping me off my feet and putting me in your mansion doesn’t change anything about the life I’m trying to sort out. Sergei and I are still getting divorced. My daughter is still my daughter, and she comes first.”
Now I’m definitely leaving. I get up again, but Declan stands up with me. Since I’m crying again, he does what he seems to always do when I cry. He holds my head between his palms and wipes my tears with his thumbs. I know he wants to kiss me but doesn’t. So I rise onto my toes and kiss him on the mouth.
His lips are warm and soft, and his cologne is just spicy enough to be masculine.
“Mom?”
Chapter 20
Uh-oh
Dina
At the sound of Chi-chi’s voice, Declan steps away. I wipe my mouth, straighten my dress, and walk toward my daughter with my arms outstretched. When she does the same, I’m relieved.
I didn’t know I needed my daughter’s approval to kiss a man who is not her father, but judging by how thankful I feel that Chi-chi has grown into a wonderful human, it seems I did need her blessing.
We hug tightly.
The moment her body touches mine, the tension in my back that I didn’t know had accumulated releases. There is no greater feeling than hugging your child. Nothing compares to it. Chi-Chi is my treasure. She’s my everything.
“I’m so glad you’re okay,” she says.
“Thank you. I’m sorry to have worried you.”
We separate, and I take stock of her. She’s wearing her faded jeans and a white T-shirt. She’s styled her short, dark hair andcolored in the tattoos on her forearm. She’s working and saving up for full sleeves.
“Mom, you remember Nathalie?” she asks, and her girlfriend embraces me with an air kiss on the cheek. “Hi, Ms. Ferrar.”
“Hi.” I don’t use that last name anymore, and I’ve told her my maiden name, Magnosiar, as she insists on not calling me Dina. She either forgot or called me Ms. Ferrar on purpose. I never liked this girl, so I’m going for the latter. I think she’s a gaslighter, a subtle one, so you’re not quite sure if she’s doing it intentionally. It’s just enough to poke at you. Everyone has met one of those in their life.
“This is…” I turn to introduce Declan, but he’s nowhere to be found. “Where did he go?”
Chi-chi frowns. “Maybe he ran away because you’re a bad kisser.”
Heat crawls up my neck and covers my cheeks.
“Christina Ferrar.”
My daughter laughs. “You’re blushing.”
I shouldn’t be embarrassed, but this is my daughter, the child who watched me make out with her dad, and now another man who is not her dad. While she’s a grown woman now, she’s notthatgrown, and she still loves her father. As she should.
I don’t speak ill of Sergei in front of our daughter. He was a good father to her, and he still is. Which makes everything between him and me more difficult. Divorce is messy.
Chi-chi and I sit at the table while Nathalie excuses herself to the bathroom.
Chi-chi stares at me. “Mom, you look terrible.”
Nobody in the world is more truthful than your child. The truth saying starts somewhere in their teens. They will tell you exactly how they feel and without remorse. They’ll look you in the eye and say the most honest thing that comes to their mind.I guess it’s a signal that you’re a good parent when your child is unafraid to speak the truth. At least I like to think of it that way.
“Thank you, Chi-chi.”
