Okay. Okay. Okay.
Move, Cade!
Shifting the car into drive, I jump out of the vehicle and race to stand beside Bunny as it slowly propels itself into the tide. Together, we stare as the headlights disappear into black water. The collision sounds so loud from where we’re standing, but a soul doesn’t emerge. It’s just us, watching another piece of our lives vanish.
I really liked that car.
Sighing, I stare at the trash bags and the items we separated into a different pile. “You have what you need?”
Nodding, Bunny holds up her little clump of clothes before reaching over to take mine from me. She presses everything to her chest while I drag the bags to the edge.It’s just stuff. We can always get more.Still, it sucks to see the little we’ve collected drown.
Holding out my hand, I implore Bunny to take it, to let me be her strength as her face threatens to crumble. I’ve seen Bunny bend, but my girl refuses to truly break. Now, it is no different. With the palms of her hands, she puts pressure against her forehead, taking a moment before leading us back into the dark.
I’m not used to alleys, but Bunny navigates them with expertise. “We’ll be there soon,” she says, but truth be told, I don’t know where the hell we’re heading in the first place. I don’t remember asking. I don’t think I cared to. But within the hour, we’re finally there, and I realize that maybe I should have cared a little.
“Umm,” I mutter under my breath, glaring at the burned, run-down buildings. The char and destruction don’t faze Bunny. In fact, I don’t even think she gives it a second thought before taking my hand and rushing us forward.O’Roy, I think it says. I don’t know until I’m right beneath it, but when I am, I can’t focus, not with Bunny on her knees.
I won’t lie to myself. I really love her down there, but then she starts digging in the dust and rubble, taking me out of my thoughts completely. “Bunny,” I call, but she’s tearing a hole in the door, creating a space just large enough for a person to squeeze through.
“Come on,” she whispers excitedly, disappearing into the gap. There’s shuffling heard on the other side, her little comments with thrown objects. I can smell the stale, burned decay from out here. The heavy aroma churns my stomach, but I drop to my hands and knees anyway and follow after her.
Immediately, my hands slip into something damp and mushy. Disgust and terror wrap around my throat, but I refuse to look down. I refuse even to acknowledge it as I chase after her. But then there’s something else, something hard and smooth that feels all too familiar. I don’t identify that either before I throw it, grumbling, “This is fucking disgusting.”
In the darkness, I hear the small scurrying and squeaks of mice, but as long as you leave them alone, they tend to do the same. I realized that quickly in the hole I was forced to live in. I make sure not to step on them as I rise to stand, but halfway up, Bunny releases an ear-piercing shriek, sending them racing in all directions. As quickly as I could, I slapped my hand across her mouth, muffling her fear. I don’t move from my hunched position until I can feel her calm begin to return, which is fine because she leans into me, trusting me to keep all the ugly things away.
In the moment between panic and peace, I take in our torched surroundings. There are rats and garbage and shit, but no squatters—still a piece of shit though.
“Is this your plan, Bun? To stay here?” I ask, unable to keep the judgment from my tone.
She doesn’t catch it, or she simply doesn’t care. “Yeah. At least for the night.” Taking my hand, she leads us throughthe empty aisles, looking for anything salvageable on the bare shelves. There’s nothing but mold and trash, to her disappointment. Pointing toward the back exit, she says, “We can stay there.”
Seeing as she knows the layout better than I do, I follow her steps without a word—into another alley.
“Why didn’t we just go around?” I ask, covered in dust and grime.
Taking a deep breath, she utters sadly, “I wanted to see it one more time.”
There’s such loss in her tone that I can do nothing but stay silent and hold on. Maybe I can fill some of the empty spaces inside her. After three flights, Bunny stops beside the only window without a chip. “That’s a good sign,” she whispers before attempting to slide the plane open. It gives in after some time, but I hold her back, preventing her from slipping in.
“Let me,” I ask, bringing her around the back of me. She does so with a smile, watching while I dip in and out of view. Scanning the space for potential dangers, I wander into every room, inspecting the closets and hidden spaces before drifting into the bathroom. I’ve been holding in a piss for ages, so long that my bladder is beginning to hurt. Making it quick, I pull myself out and release into the toilet, letting out an audible sigh of relief.
The mirror has never been kind to me, so, like every time before, I avoid it when stopping in front of the sink.
“Please work,” I whisper, twisting the knob. It’s genuine excitement when water sputters out, so much so that I can’t even contain it. Smiling, I run out of the room, skidding to a stop when I see Bunny’s face poking in. “There’s still water!”
“What?!” she gasps in complete shock, running in after me. I can feel her feet pounding against the floor, skidding to a stop beside me. We stare at the facet together, greedily watching the sputtering current.
“Do you think it’ll last?”
“I don’t know,” she states in awe. We tear our clothes off before it has a chance, though. Together, we jump into the unused, dirt- and grime-crusted tub and bathe beneath the rusted shower. Our breathing becomes easier as the water drenches us. It’s a little harder than we’d like, tastes a bit more like iron, but it gets the job done. Our filth spirals down the drain. I pretend our stresses flow with it.
When the spray turns too cold to be comfortable, I reach around Bunny’s shivering shoulders and twist it off. We stand in easy silence, letting the droplets keep us company.
It’s nice.
There are no eyes watching over us. Susie isn’t standing outside the door, staring full of judgment and pity. For the first time, Bunny and I are truly alone. It’s a freedom we’ve dreamed of. It’s not yet a reality, but… for a moment, with just us two in the bath, we have everything we ever wanted.
Minutes pass, and goosebumps begin to rise on her skin. Watching for the debris on the ground, I step from the tub and extend my hand.Come here. I got you.Her smile reveals little slivers of perfect teeth. I want to rub my thumb across them, feel their ivory points. Instead, when her feet are solidly on the floor, I bring her wet body into my chest, savoring the sensation of her spine. That little sliver grows into a full grin, and I can’t help but want to see it fully. Spearing my fingers through her tangled, ambery hair, I peel her face away from me, taking in every breath-taking feature before kissing the top of her head.
