“Where did you last see her? Did anything—did you fight or…”
“No,” Holly sniffles, “No-thing like that. We had lunch around one-thirty, and then she w-was going to have a girl’s night with Kassidy. I-she never came home. I-I called Kassidy’s, and they-they haven’t seen her. Kassidy doesn’t know where she is, and-d I—my baby.”
Holly doesn’t say anything else to me before turning around and shutting the door. “Holly?” I knock, “Holly!” but she nevercomes back. I don’t know if the police are involved—if there’s a fucking search party forming. I don’t know what the fuck to do. My body moves on its own, my mind completely detached from my form until I find myself standing outside Kassidy’s home.
I didn’t know where the fuck she lived, and yet, somehow, I made it here. Within minutes, my fist is banging on the door, the plastic screen rattling until she opens up. Unlike Holly’s, Kassidy’s eyes are dead, not a glimmer of life in those brown irises.
“What—” Before I can finish my question, Kassidy throws her arms around my neck, buries her face between my jaw and shoulder, and sobs a sob to rival Holly’s. There’s nothing I can do but return the gesture. Folding my arms over her shaking muscles, I hold her and let some of my fear leak out with hers. After three painful, breathless minutes, Kassidy mumbles against my skin.
“We got into a fight.”
“What do you mean?”
Pulling back, she wipes the tears and mucus away from her face, staring off into the distance. “I wanted to tell her mom… about us. And she-she didn’t want to, and I fought with her, Cade! I fought with her, and she took off…I,” she breaks, “I just wanted to be with her out loud.”
While Kassidy breaks down in front of me, I run through her story again and again, dissecting every word, trying to make sense of what could have happened.
It doesn’t make sense… “Where would she have gone?”
“I don’t know, Cade! I’ve gone to all our places! All of our secret spots! She isn’t anywhere!” The blame Kassidy carries on her shoulders is potent and undeniable, but it can’t be true. Clara can’t just… be gone. No. No, people don’t justdisappear.
Kassidy startles me with a squeal while I’m in the middle of my thoughts. “We have to go tonight!”
“Go where?”
“The bait shop! She has to be there! She’d never miss a night!”
“What makes you think she’ll be there when you guys haven’t seen her in days?” I ask, hands somewhat flared at my sides, shoulders rising toward my ears.
Kassidy appears to question it for a second, fingers tangled at the roots of her fading platinum hair. “Because she has to be. Because she wouldn’t miss the chance to see you fight. She wouldn’t miss the opportunity to make money off you! Because…because she has to be!Because if she’s not, then-then I don’t know what else to do… where else would she be?”
Sensing her panic begin to stir, I agree, promising to meet her here at midnight.
“I’ll drive” is the last thing Kassidy tells me before turning back into her house and locking herself away.
My uncle was pissed when I came home empty-handed. Without even listening to my explanation, he walked away and told me to stay out of his sight until I could do what I was told. Still having Clara on my mind, I didn’t even bother trying with him. I let him simmer in his fury until I’m about to leave, and only when he catches me do I attempt to speak.
“I’m not fighting,” are the first words out of my mouth. “So before you lay into me?—”
“I don’t want to hear your excuses, Cade.” He utters, glancing at me from his seat on the front porch, cold beer in his hand. His eyes roll back toward the distance, scanning the dark horizon beyond the trees. I would like, for once, to enjoy this peacefulmoment with my uncle—to feel like family and not just another animal he's taken in. Then I remember I’m not family. These people couldn’t care less about me. All we share is a name.
There is one person who cares. “Holly’s daughter is missing. She didn’t come home. A friend and I are going to look for her.”
I wait for his response, hoping to see a glimpse of a warm, beating heart, but of course, why would he give a fuck? Why would he show any sympathy at all?
“If she’s anything like you, she probably left on her own—causin’ her mama stress for no reason other than sheer selfishness.” I stand at the bottom of the porch steps, processing the vile shit my uncle spits from his pursed mouth. It doesn’t fully register, not until he grumbles, “Trash. That’s all you two are. Fucking garbage that stinks up our lives.”
I saw the blood on my knuckles before the pain of his teeth in my skin registered. It sticks out from between the bones of my first two fingers—a momentary shock until it falls as I take another swing.
“Fuck you!” Blood spurts onto my skin, but I don’t know if it’s from my wound or his broken nose. Either way, it coats my skin with sticky, crimson iron. The element of surprise and a boost of adrenaline were all I had to get him on the ground. The window was small, but I took every shot, driving my fists into his face, ribs, and throat until he resembled the trash he labeled me as.
Huffing, I rise onto my feet, unaware of when I began straddling him. It had to have happened after that first swing when my fist collided with the front of his mouth. I’m not entirely sure, though. I’m not entirely sure of anything right now.
With a vise around my throat, I choke out a garbled “Fuck you,” ending this interaction with a final kick to his gut. His silence follows me as I run back to the barn, and for a splitsecond, I worry I killed him. Then, as I pack a single backpack, I hear the muffled sounds of a groan, and any guilt I felt vanishes.
“I’ll be back, guys,” I vow to my roommates. “When all this settles, and I’m sure he won’t kill me, I’ll be back home with you,” I promise the animals who have kept me company that I won’t abandon them—that I’ll be back to share the nights with them again. I just gotta go now.
“It’s only for now.” And then I ran.
