“Rome—”
“I should have been there with her…forher, but instead I chose blood and rotted in an eight by ten cell for it….”
Coming to sit beside me on the floor, Ash leans against the wood and sighs, crossing his arms and legs before saying weakly, “I would have done the same for my sister. It’s what we do, Rome. It’s in our blood to protect our own.”
“That’s not an excuse,” I utter, letting my hands drop from my head to hang limply at my sides.
I regret so many things in my life, but not ratting on Gabriel and Tommy is the one that hangs heaviest on my heart.
I could have saved Amira… Adrianna… had I just opened my fucking mouth.
“Fuck!” I shout, drawing my elbow back to connect with the wooden leg of the cabinet.
Time passes with neither of us uttering a word. The shadows on the wall falling slowly as the sun sets in the sky.
I woke up at noon, but somehow, the clock on the nightstand reads five. Where did the time go?
“Four years ago today, I went to my very first house party. Had a backpack full of pills and was fucking ready to fuck some shit up. I didn’t know I would meet the love of my life that night… I didn’t realize I would lose her so soon either.”
The sorrow in his tone is what drags my attention away from the wall. Angling my head, I lock my gaze on Ash’s, watching him slowly come undone as he relives the best and worst moment of his life.
“We never forget those first impressions. I remember meeting Amira… Didn’t know at the time she was going to be the one who flipped my world on its axis.”
Doesn’t fucking matter, though. She could ruin me, and I would still be head over heels in love.
“Wanna know the hardest part?” Ash asks, kicking his legs out to lay straight in front of him, fingers toying with the string on his sweats as he waits for my response.
“What?”
“I never got to say goodbye… we were fighting, because we always fought, and the gun I didn’t even know was loaded went off… and I never got to say goodbye.”
“Would that have changed anything?” I ask solemnly, my voice hoarse as I force the words out.
Ash’s eyes are devoid of life, but still, he nods his head. “Yeah. It would have. I would have had the chance to tell her I loved her one final time. Yasmine wouldn’t have died with hateful words spewing from my lips, but an apology for all the shit I put her through… We would have ended happily… We would have had closure.”
Closure.
A light matches in my mind, setting my world ablaze as a solution forms in my thoughts.
Jumping up from my position on the floor, I race to the end of the couch to grab my belongings. Slipping on my shoes before spinning around, I lock my gaze on Ash, pinning him to the floor with my manic eyes.
“You leave next week, right? You’re going back home?” I ask in a rush, shoving my wallet and phone in my pockets.
“Uhh, yeah. I have to check on the apartment… I can’t leave it alone too long, or my fucking landlord will try to sell it… again.”
“Could you hold off on that? Maybe another week or so?”
He narrows his gaze on me but nods anyway, eyebrows arched into his hairline. “Yeah. Why? What’s up?”
“I have something I need to do.”
†††
My stomach is fucking eating itself the entire drive home. Nerves churning me inside out as I go over the plan in my head. There’s no guarantee that it’ll work, but for the sake of my sanity and my relationship with Amira, I fucking hope it does.
I don’t reply to any of Amira’s dozens of text messages.
I don’t call her back to let her know I’m finally coming home because I know she’ll hear the hesitancy in my tone, and once she begins questioning me, I don’t think I’d be able to keep it to myself.
