He scared me, and I reacted poorly, brutally… and it fucking blew up in my face, destroying us both in the detonation.
Roman left, and I don’t know where he went, and I don’t know who he’s with.
I don’t know if he’s coming back… and that only adds to the crushing weight of pure, undiluted hatred I feel toward myself.
As the silence of my hollow home booms in my ears, the emotions I’m feeling about myself and this fucked-up situation eat away at my mind.
I freely give in to my demons and let them take control, needing to feel something other than the constant loathing and abhorrence that resides in my mind.
My vision begins to fade to black, and the last image in my head is Roman’s hurt, hateful eyes as he turned his back on me.
†††
I don’t know how I ended up in mom's room, nor do I know how all her belongings ended up trashed beneath my feet, but as I take in the space around me and my bleeding, throbbing knuckles, I can only assume I was the one to ruin everything.
Again.
Stepping back, I let out a cry when my ankle twists painfully over a cracked frame. The fragmented shards stab the sole of my foot, making me hobble on one leg until I reach the bed.
I pull the splinters out piece by piece, piling them on the sheet beside me before dipping low to grab the busted frame on the floor.
The glass falls apart under my fingers, allowing me to see another picture hidden behind the one of my mother and me.
Wrinkled and torn, I stare at an old image of my mother, who couldn’t be older than twenty-four, twenty-five wrapped in the arms of another man.
Dominic.
I’ve never seen her this happy.
Not with my dad.
Not with me.
But with Dominic Marcello, I think she felt true love. Something akin to what I feel for Roman.
Throwing the picture down, I race from the room, stomping on broken glass and ripped sheets of paper while my ankle screams out in pain.
Reaching the room Roman and I sleep in, I tear open my drawer and pull out my phone, cursing as it takes forever to power on. Tapping on the only name that matters, I hold the phone to my ear and wait. The ring goes on forever, but he doesn’t answer.
I try again. No answer.
After the tenth attempt at me reaching him, I breathe out a sigh and wait for the beep.
“I’m sorry, Roman. Please come home.”
But he doesn’t come home. Not an hour later or two.
He doesn’t come home at all.
CHAPTER TWENTY
ROMAN
Tuesday
March 23, 2021
Light bleeds behind my eyes, stabbing me in the retinas as I wake up to the booming sound of Ash slamming the hotel room door.
