The work was over quickly, and I was surprised by the disappointment that ran through me as I watched him pack up his equipment to leave. I walked him out the door, looking over my shoulder to make sure Liam was still sleeping on the couch.
I thanked Dominic for his service and for coming to help me so soon. I was ready to send him on his way, but to my surprise and slight delight, he stayed a bit longer…. just to talk. Said today had been hectic, and this job was a nice reprieve away from the other assholes around town.
After our brief conversation, I pulled money out of the back pocket of my jeans and held it out to him.
I practically melted on the spot when he took my hand in his and held it, declining payment.
He left moments after that, but that touch stayed with me the rest of the day.
Even as Gabriel sleeps in bed beside me, I write this with a smile on my face, remembering the tingles that sprung over my skin when his fingers held mine.
“Oh, mom,” I cry, bringing my fingers up to my mouth, heart in my stomach because I can sense the downfall coming, and there’s no way I can stop it.
With a ball in my throat and a rock in my gut, I drop my hand and continue reading.
March 5, 2001
I brought Dominic cookies today. I told him it was a way to thank him for his help, but deep down, that wasn’t the real reason. I couldn’t stop thinking about him throughout the weekend, and this was an excuse to see him. He looked excited to see me, too, even with Liam attached to my hip. We didn’t talk for very long, but he drew me into his arms and held me close, promising to eat them all before he got home.
Mom doesn’t write again until the fifteenth, and what she does write sends shivers down my spine. I’m on the verge of throwing up the banana I ate earlier, but I can’t take my eyes off the script. Not until I finish.
Not until she makes the mistake that will ruin my life.
March 15, 2001
I did something wrong a few days ago, and it’s been happening every day since then. I’ve been so, so lonely, and I couldn’t stop myself.
Gabriel has been seeing a woman in town. I know he has. Coming home late from the bar with lipstick smeared along his neck, his dick smelling of rancid pussy and whiskey whenever he makes me go down on him. Leaving me home alone with our two-year-old son while he fucks another woman.
He worked late tonight, or so he claimed, leaving me home alone once again while he does who knows what!
I had called Dominic Marcello claiming something was wrong with the pipe again, knowing nothing was. I just didn’t want to be alone.
Liam was asleep by the time Dominic showed up. I had a nice dinner laid out for Gabriel and me, but he left with Jimmy and Fallon, so I had hoped Dominic and I could enjoy it.
Explaining that nothing was wrong with the piping was awkward, but instead of getting angry as Gabriel would have, he laughed it off and sat at the table.
I don’t know what excuse he gave his wife as to why he wasn’t home, but I wasn’t upset that he chose me, even if it should make me feel dirty inside.
We enjoyed our dinner, and when the night was over, he wasn’t ready to leave. I wasn’t worried about Gabriel coming home since it was only eight o’clock at the time, but because of the thought that Liam would most likely wake up soon since he has trouble sleeping throughout the night.
I walked him to the door and followed him out to the car, ready to wish him goodnight, when he suddenly grabbed me by the waist and slammed me into his hard chest.
I felt my heart stop when his lips fell down on mine, but it didn’t prevent me from returning his kiss. The voice screaming in my ear that what I was doing was wrong didn’t stop me from letting him throw me on his car seats and pull my panties to the side, roughly thrusting himself into me as I screamed his name repeatedly.
It’s a good thing our neighbors are practically deaf. I didn’t need them hearing the foul language spilling from my lips when he burst inside me, and I shattered around his cock.
We both knew we made a mistake after that, but we didn’t realize we would continue making it for weeks after.
I slam the book closed and throw it off my lap, fingers ripping through my hair as I read my mother’s words declaring her infidelity. How could she be so bold as to write this down! Gabriel has always been a nosy bastard. How could she not anticipate him reading this!?
I don’t want to continue, but this is the only way I’m going to get the answers I need. So, picking the book up off the floor, I raise it back in my lap and find the following entry, holding in my choked breath as I devour the writing.
April 22, 2001
Gabriel fucked me tonight. The first time in who knows how long.
It was hard to keep the laughter out of my moans as he drove himself into me. I wondered if he could smell Dominic’s cum on me since I hadn’t washed it off from earlier.
