She chuckled, the sound soft and familiar like one of my favorite songs. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” she said softly.
I couldn’t talk. I couldn’t think of a logical explanation for why she was there. I was frozen, wondering why she was coming to me after all the years I had prayed to see her.
She stepped toward me with her hand out, so when she stepped up to me, her hand was resting on my cheek. I didn’t know what I was expecting, but it was warm and felt so real. I placed my hand on hers and melted, my eyes falling closed.
“I know things have been hard for you. I’m sorry.”
My eyes popped open. “You’re sorry?” was all I could get out.
“I didn’t have a choice, Roman. Life is just a game of chance that takes you on a ride. You never know where you’ll go or what you’ll get.”
“That’s all this is, huh? Is everything all by chance? There’s no grand design?”
She offered a sad smile, and she shrugged. “I guess that’s for you to decide yourself.”
My hand fell away from hers, and I stepped back. “What is this? Why are you here?”
“I’m glad you’re learning how to move on without me, Roman. I really am. But my little sister? Are you serious?”
My chest filled with anger while the guilt in my stomach doubled. “What?”
“Just because I’m not here doesn’t mean that I don’t see what’s going on. She’s my little sister!”
I backed away and shook my head. “You don’t get a say in who I’m with. You left.”
“There are a billion women on this planet, and you picked my little sister? She’s basically still a child, you know that, right?”
“No, she’s not,” I argued.
“Well, that’s how I see her. And that’s how you should see her, too. You taught her how to swim. She used to sit between us on the couch when we watched scary movies. You attended her thirteenth birthday party for crying out loud. That’s how you should see her when you look at her.”
I clenched my hands into fists, feeling my short, blunt nails as they cut into my palms. “You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to judge me for being with someone when you were the one who left. All these years, I was miserable. I waited for the day when we could be together again. Hell, if it weren’t for Sophia, I would’ve killed myself to be with you.”
“End it.”
“What?”
“End it with her, Roman. End it before everyone finds out what you really are. They’ll never forgive you, you know?”
“Who?” I asked as I stepped toward her in anger.
She jumped back to get away from me, and as I reached for her, she fell. I tried catching her, but she began to fade, and my hands moved right through her. Before she could hit the floor, she vanished, and I jerked awake.
I was soaked with sweat, and my heart was pounding in my chest. I was panting, breathing labored from the nightmare. It felt so real. I couldn’t shake it. I could still feel the warmth of her hand on my cheek. I could still smell her perfume, like it hung in the air. I wasn’t the type of man who believed in the supernatural. I believed that once we died, we were nothing more than worm food. I never envisioned a life after death, not unless I was telling myself it’s where I’d be reconnected to her, but still, I never actually thought it existed.
I couldn’t help but feel like it wasn’t just a dream. She came to me and told me she didn’t like that I was with Sasha. I tried telling myself it was nothing but my guilt talking, but I couldn’tshake the emotions running wild through me. I turned my head to find Sasha still in a deep sleep beside me. The room was starting to fill with early-morning light, so instead of rolling over and trying to get more sleep, I decided to get up once and for all. I knew it would be nearly impossible to go back to sleep after a dream like that. All night long, I tossed and turned. If I couldn’t rest before, I knew it wouldn’t happen at all. I moved quietly and slowly as I pushed the blanket back and stood from bed without waking her.
I crossed the room and grabbed a pair of sweats from my open suitcase on the dresser. I didn’t bother to pull them on until I was outside of the bedroom with the door closed between us. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes as I entered the half-bath in our suite, where I emptied my bladder for the first time that morning. I washed my hands, brushed my teeth with the travel toothbrush and toothpaste the hotel had supplied, then splashed some water on my face, hoping to shake off the feeling I woke with.
In the living section of our suite, I made myself a strong cup of coffee. I moved toward the big window that overlooked the beach as I took my first sip. I scoffed at the bitterness before going back to the minibar, where I grabbed a shot of Irish Whiskey. I poured the liquor into the coffee and took a sip. The taste wasn’t any better, but I knew I’d start to feel numb by the bottom of it, so I forced it down as I sat on the balcony, watching the sun come up.
I thought about my dream and how I’d known all along that Chloe would not want me with her little sister. It was the biggest reason I held out in the beginning. I knew how her entire family would feel about it. Maybe that’s who she meant when she said they’d never forgive me. Was she talking about her parents? Even if I pushed the dream aside and ignored how I knew Chloe would feel about the situation, there were still toomany problems for Sasha and me to last. Her parents are the biggest problem of all. We couldn’t carry on a secret relationship forever. Eventually, we’d slip up, and everyone would find out. Once they found out, I knew shit would hit the fan, and everything would go to hell. Eventually, Sophia would grow up, and Sasha’s parents would expect her to move out. No matter how I looked at things, I didn’t see them ending on a positive note.
“Hey,” Sasha said, slipping out the French doors.
I looked up at her just as she slid into my lap.
“Hey,” I replied. “How’d you sleep?”
