It didn’t take long to have my orgasm building, but I slowed and let it fall away, wanting to keep her in my thoughts a bit longer.
I thought about her toes curling, her back arching, her moans, whimpers, and pleas as she thrusted her fingers into herself. I wondered if she’d let me watch her pleasure herself, and I imagined walking into her bathroom as she did so. Her eyes would open and lock with mine. She’d freeze in a moment of temporary embarrassment, but then she’d start again once she saw the desperate look in my eyes. She’d go back to work, and with every whimper, she realized, I’d move closer and closer until I’d drop to my knees at her tub. I’d rest my arms along the edge, watching as she caused ripples to form in her bathwater. I could feel the warmth of her water as I reached below the surface to do it for her. She’d move her hand away and let me take over. I’d make her come so goddamn hard that she’d temporarily go blind with passion.
In the next second, she’d spin around and pull my mouth to hers, our lips crashing, teeth jarring, both lost in need and desire.
My release bubbled to the surface again, and even though I wanted to push it back, I couldn’t. I lost control. I couldn’t do anything but let the wave carry me away, let it pull me under as the strongest orgasm ravaged my body I’d had in a long time. I spilled myself of every last drop. By the time I was done, I was breathless, weak, and my arm was nearly dead.
I knew that I had to have her.
I knew that it was wrong.
But I also knew that it didn’t matter.
I could only resist for so long. I didn’t know how long that would be. But eventually, I’d be too weak to stop it, and that’s when the world as I knew it would change. I’d cross the line that couldn’t be uncrossed.
I told myself if I were smart, I’d fire her immediately and get her the fuck out of my house. I made a million excuses for why I couldn’t do that, but the only one that was the truth was that I wasn’t strong enough. I couldn’t make her leave. I needed her. I needed her in a way I didn’t even understand. And I wouldn’t be able to stop until I had her beneath me, screaming my name, and coming on my dick. Even then, I knew I’d forever be changed. Would I ever get enough? Could I bear losing both of them?
I shook my head at myself.
How dare I think of them at the same time? How dare I kiss her baby sister, vow to steal her virginity away, and then miss my wife in the next second? I was fucked, no matter how you looked at it. Damned if I touched her, but damned if I didn’t.
But damn, either fucking way.
TWENTY-THREE
SASHA
Iwatched him walk away, my mind an endless mess of questions.
What the hell was that? Why did he kiss me? Why did he stop? Was he just drunk, or was that what we’ve been building towards? Did I like the kiss?
Based on the tickle in my stomach, Ilovedthe kiss. My heart was racing, pounding against my chest as if it might escape.
Goosebumps had covered my skin, making the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. A shiver raced up my spine, causing me to burn from the inside out. I had kissed several guys over my lifetime, but none of them ever felt like that.
That brought on even more confusion, though.What was happening with us? What would my parents think? What would my sister think?I was immediately hit with guilt. Even though my sister had passed, it still felt like I was betraying her in some way.
He was hers. He would’ve still been hers if she were around. But she wasn’t around anymore. He no longer belonged to her. He was single. As was I. Technically, we weren’t breaking any rules. Yet... It still felt wrong. How did wrong feel right? How did forbidden feel so good?
I shook my head, trying to clear it of all the confusing thoughts, and I pushed myself forward. It felt like I was frozen there against the wall where he left me, and I needed to move. Having him against me, being able to taste him, filled my body with excitement and energy, and I needed to burn it off in some way. I walked to my room as quickly as I could, shutting the door behind me. I was breathless, but I wasn’t sure if it was from the excitement he caused me to feel or if it was from my sudden rush through the house.
I used my newfound energy to give my bedroom and bathroom a thorough clean. It helped to burn off the jitters, and it kept him off my mind.
When I finished my cleaning spree, I took a long, hot shower, then turned off the lights and tucked myself into bed. Thanks to the shower, I was relaxed. I was sure it wouldn’t take any time at all to fall asleep, yet the second I settled in bed, I was wide awake.
I couldn’t think of anything but that kiss. I remembered the way his hands felt on either side of my face, how firm his lips were, how his tongue moved with purpose. The man knew how to kiss. Better than anyone I’d ever kissed. Just thinking of it had the butterflies in my stomach coming alive once again.
My body wanted things that I wasn’t familiar with. There was a throbbing between my thighs, and I didn’t know what to do with that. I rolled onto my side and squeezed my thighs as tight as I possibly could. The pressure eased the throbbing, but it didn’t take it away completely. I took a deep breath and let it out in the form of a sigh.
Annoyed with myself, I rolled to my other side and pulled an extra-large pillow from the head of the bed to rest at my side. I tossed my arm over it and pulled it close to my chest, wishing I were wrapping myself around him instead. I bent my knee anddraped my leg over the pillow, the same way I did with Roman when he was in my bed.
I remembered how he grabbed my thigh, how big and strong his hand felt. The butterflies in my stomach fluttered to life, tickling me from the inside out. My hips took on a life of their own, and they rocked forward, causing my throbbing center to rub against the pillow. A sudden spark of pleasure hit me, and my eyes popped wide open as my body froze.
Embarrassment burned through me, but it was overshadowed by something else.
Need. Desire.
I had no idea what to do to get rid of the bodily need that was growing inside of me, but I closed my eyes and let my mind go back to that kiss. My hips rocked forward and then back. Before I knew it, I was grinding myself against the pillow with ferocity, making that lightning bolt shoot through me again and again. Every time my hips shifted, it only added to the growing tension in my lower belly. It was like a storm cloud that kept growing.
