“See,” Parker said, only looking at me.
I shrugged. “I just don’t think he’s that bad. He has his own way of doing things. There’s only black and white. No gray area. And that’s what I like. I like to know exactly what is expected of me. A gray area leaves room for error that I don’t need to make.”
“Boy, if you can stand up for a professor whom everyone who’s ever had his class can hate, I’d really hate to meet your boss that you talk so much shit about,” Parker said, teasing.
Even though I knew she wanted to give me a hard time, her statement made me think. I guessed that I had been a little tooharsh in my public judgment of Roman. Deep down, I knew he wasn’t a bad guy. He was a product of loss, heartache, and mental illness. I fully believed that he could heal from Chloe’s loss… If he really wanted to.
But he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to do the work it would require to heal and move on. And that’s what turned him into the bitter man he had become. You could get shot in the chest and not die. Your body would eventually heal, and scar, and you’d live to see many more days to come, but you’d never be the same. Then some got shot and sought help. Those are the ones who wanted to do the work to heal. Roman had just been walking around with a bullet in his chest since my sister died. He refused to get help, and the pain hadn’t gone away.
I shrugged my shoulders. “My boss is an asshole, but deep down, he’s a good guy.”
Lance got up and went to take his turn at the dart board, and Parker took his seat. “How could you possibly know that?”
“I knew him before he was my boss. I knew him before his wife died. That’s what turned him into the asshole he is today.”
Her brows lifted. “Oh,” fell from her lips as the sad reality hit her. “How’d you know his wife?”
“She was my sister.”
I felt and heard Parker’s gasp, but I didn’t turn my attention to her because movement by the entrance caught my eye. My head popped up as Roman stepped into the sports bar. He walked in with a small group of men, all of them dressed in nice suits rather than sports jerseys like the rest of the college kids in the place. He entered with a grin, but it fell from his lips the moment his eyes met mine. He slid his hands into his pants pockets and straightened his back as he glared at me.
My eyes may have narrowed as I watched him, but I didn’t dare rip them away. I wanted him to know that I wasn’t going to back down or rush off because we happened to be in the sameplace at the same time. From my short time working for him, I could already tell he wanted to keep as much distance between us as possible. But as long as he minded his business, I’d mind mine. Nobody had to know that he was the asshole I worked for.
I’d not tell if he didn’t.
FOURTEEN
ROMAN
Iwasn’t usually into going to college sports bars, but a few of the guys from work insisted I join them. I turned them down multiple times until they mentioned how easy it was to get laid. I figured it would be worth going out of my comfort zone for a couple of hours.
I regretted that decision the moment I walked in because my eyes locked with Sasha’s. I wouldn’t have minded getting to bang one out with a college girl, but I didn’t have my sister-in-law in mind. I didn’t exactly want her to see me with another woman. I didn’t know why it mattered to me. My wife was dead, and my vows had expired. I wasn’t cheating on her, so why did it matter if her family saw me with another woman?
I had things in my head a certain way. Keeping those things there is what kept my world spinning. To have Sasha see me with another woman would’ve been like picking up a snow globe and shaking it. If I had control, things in my life stayed in place. If I lost control… I didn’t know where shit would go, and I guess deep down, that scared me. Not that I’d ever admit it.
The guys led me to a table, and we all took our seats. We didn’t exactly fit in. We were in the middle of a college bar, dressed in suits rather than reeking of weed, and dressed inbaggy clothes. I instantly noticed the way people were watching us. The women fawned, flirtatiously smiling and batting their lashes as they twirled their hair. The guys saw the competition they had, and they didn’t like it. Many of them furrowed their brows, squared their shoulders, or puffed out their chest to look intimidating.
When the waitress came over, the guys ordered a couple of pitchers and a round of shots for the four of us. Running into Sasha, I suddenly wanted to turn around and go home, but I knew the guys would never allow it. The best I could do was one drink and then slip out after excusing myself to use the restroom. I settled in, ready to dedicate an hour of my time to the guys in order to slip out the first time they turned their backs.
They were already going on about the girls in the bar, how hot and ready they were, how they planned on giving it to the hottest one, a bunch of typical male behavior. I, however, turned my attention to Sasha and the group of people she was hanging out with. I told myself that she was my responsibility. I owed it to my wife to keep an eye on her little sister, whom she loved so much.
Not only that, but if something happened to her, I’d be fucked not having someone to watch Sophia. I found myself in a place I didn’t like to be—up shit creek without a paddle when it came to nannies for my daughter.
Sasha stood from the high-top table she’d been sitting at, and I got a full view of her. She wore a short denim skirt. It hung from her hips, and with her cropped tank top, a sliver of her stomach was showing. Her almond-shaped belly button and two hip bones on display for all to see. Her arms were bare, toned, and tanned. Her top was tight, stretching across her large chest. I wet my lips on instinct as I took her in.
I turned my head in the opposite direction, unsure of what the fuck I was feeling. I told myself that it was just a mixture of drinking, not having any food in my stomach to soak up the alcohol, and being wound up and on the prowl. My cock knew I was going to find someone to bury myself in. I couldn’t help it that the fucker had a mind of its own.
While I wasn’t spacing out, the waitress came over with our tray of drinks. I was passed a mug of beer and a shot glass full of clear liquid. I took what was handed to me, not giving a fuck what it was as long as it took the edge off. I poured the shot of clear liquid into my mouth and swallowed it down, instantly realizing it was tequila. I fucking hated tequila. It wasn’t good for anything but making mistakes. At the same time, I took a large drink of beer so I didn’t have the leftover taste of heartburn in my mouth from the tequila.
The waitress walked away, and the guys went back to talking. I didn’t mean to, but I turned my head in her direction once again. She was standing, pulled into a game of darts. One of the guys she was with placed his hand on her hip as he stepped around her. Standing behind her, he put his lips to her ear and started to whisper. She didn’t push him away. I tensed at that.
Who the fuck did this guy think he was? Why did he think he could touch her like that? And why was she letting him touch her like that?
She signed the contract, and it specifically stated, No dating. The fucked up voice in the back of my head said,Maybe she’s just fucking the guy. Maybe they’re not dating. I silently told him to shut the fuck up, and I grabbed my beer, taking another long drink.
I don’t care. I don’t fucking care.
The truth was, I cared. I cared way more than I ever should’ve, and I didn’t know why. All I knew was that I couldnot stop myself from thinking about her. She’d been stuck in my head since the night she put me to bed.
