I dropped my briefcase on my desk before moving to the corner of the room to pour myself a stiff drink. There was a glass dish on the cart, filled with salted nuts. I removed the lid and scooped out a handful before replacing the lid. I tossed a few of the nuts into my mouth as I made my way back to my desk. I sipped my whiskey and opened my laptop to check my email.
The computer chimed with a few notifications, but I ignored them as I pulled up a local food delivery site. I didn’t know if Sasha had plans to cook a meal, as she was supposed to, but I knew I was hungry. Even if she did have plans, it would be hours before it was done, since she wasn’t even home.
I ordered myself a steak with a baked potato, steamed vegetables, and a slice of apple pie for dessert. Once my order was placed, I began checking emails and replying.
I lost track of time as I kept myself occupied with work. I didn’t snap back to reality until I heard someone ring the doorbell. I pushed myself up and headed toward the door, where a man stood with my food in a bag. I took the bag and slipped him a few dollars as a tip. While I was digging through my wallet, the elevator dinged, signaling someone was on their way up.
“Thanks,” I told the deliveryman as I stepped inside and closed the door. I went into the kitchen to plate my dinner. After a moment or two, I heard the door open, and the girls walked in.
“Okay, Sophia. Go ahead and take off your jacket and shoes. I’ll be in the kitchen, OK?”
A second later, Sasha stepped into the room, coming to an abrupt stop when she saw me.
“Oh, I didn’t know you were in here.” Her hand moved to her chest to quiet her heart, so I knew I scared her.
“What did I say? Dinner will be on the table when I get home. Remember that?” I looked around the kitchen. “I’m home and yet, I see no dinner.”
She let out a breath so deep that it made her chest visibly fall. “I know. I’m sorry. I just thought I’d order in since I’ve been so busy today with getting settled and cleaning up around here. Apparently, a new girl is working at the daycare because she gave me so much crap about picking up Sophia. It took longer than it should have.”
I picked up my plate. “Well, don’t worry about ordering anything for me. I’m covered.” I opened the drawer and retrieved a knife and fork, then I turned toward the hall, wanting to eat in the peace of my office.
“Tomorrow, I expect you to do the job you’re being paid for.” I pushed the door open and stepped out of the kitchen without looking back.
I could tell that I had upset her by the expression on her face, and I felt slightly guilty about it. It wasn’t my goal to hurt her, but fuck, I wasn’t exactly happy about not having dinner when I got home either. She could have called me or sent a text explaining the situation, so I’d know to grab something on my way home. Fuck, a carrier pigeon would have gotten the job done, but instead, she thought she’d get some slack just because…what? It was her first day? If she only knew how many people I’d fired on their first day, she would’ve made sure there was some kind of food ready to eat.
I heard the girls’ voices echoing down the hall and into my office. Annoyance flooded my blood as I stood and moved to the door to close it. I had heard Sophia and her nannies before, but there was something different about hearing her with Sasha. With Sasha being older than the last time I saw her, she sounded different, too.
Her voice wasn’t as soft or squeaky. She sounded like an adult, like Chloe in the earlier years of our relationship. Hearing what sounded like my wife talking and playing with our daughter caused a pain to form in my chest. That pain flooded my stomach, making me nauseous.
Luckily, by that point, I’d already eaten most of the dinner, so it didn’t go to complete waste. I couldn’t finish it, though. I pushed my plate away and instead picked up the whiskey. I threw back what was left in the glass before I went for more.
Hours passed.I lost track of time as I hid in my office, drinking, and pretending like the little work I was doing was important. It wasn’t. I was a coward who couldn’t face his daughter.
When things quieted down, I stood with my dirty dishes and took them to the kitchen. Things had been cleaned up. There wasn’t a dish in sight, not a food wrapper, or a crumb.
I scraped my plate off into the trash, finding the remnants of their dinner. I shouldn’t have been surprised to see boxes from the local pizza place. Sophia was like Chloe. Both of them could live off pizza. Not that I knew my daughter that well, but that’s what the nannies had told me over the years. I made the connection between mother and daughter on my own, based ontheir input. Guilt hit me again at not even knowing my daughter. I put my plate in the sink, running some water over it so food wouldn’t stick. Then I set the plate on the bottom before going back to my office.
I took in the house as I walked through. Certain lamps were always left on at night, so it would be easy to see if you walked through the place too late. All of those lights were on, and all others were off. I took that to mean that the ladies had called it a night. That, mixed with the silence, I found myself lost in it. I walked into my office, seeing no need to shut the door behind me. I stepped to the window overlooking the balcony. Chicago was brightly lit against the night sky. I leaned my head against the window frame as I stared at the world, remembering the last night I saw Chloe.
She was still pregnant with Sophia. The way she looked the day she died flashed through my mind. Long purple dress. Her blond curls tumbled around her. Her eyes were bright and filled with excitement.
She’d walked toward me, that smile I adored on her pretty face. I thought I had the entire world in my hands, and really, I did. I was a lucky man. Chloe was everything and more.
In the memory, she stopped in front of me and rested her hands on my chest.
I reached out and placed my hands on her hips, my heart full.
I didn’t think it could ever get better than it did. I loved her endlessly.
“I love you,” I whispered to her before brushing my lips against hers.
“Mm, I love you too,” she answered.
My body started to come to life as she pressed against me. Fuck, what she could do to me with a simple look. I thoughtabout how she wrapped herself around me, kissing me as I moved to press her closer to our bed.
“Roman?” Sasha called out, snapping me from my memory.
My dick was half hard from thinking back on that time with my wife. I didn’t want to turn to face her and have her notice. I slid my hands into my pockets to take away from the bulk in that area, and glanced at her from over my shoulder.
