I slid the condom into place and ran my fingers between her folds, rubbing gentle circles around her clit to bring her body to life. Our eyes met in the mirror, and I watched as she closed them. I diverted mine, not wanting to see her face. I never liked to look them in the face. Even though I had honored my vows and stayed faithful to my wife until she passed, it still felt as if I was cheating on her, and if I thought about that too much while I was with someone else, my dick would go limp. I didn’t even know how many times I’d paid for blue balls over the years,because, believe it or not, once the escorts were paid, they didn’t give refunds, whether you got off or not.
I took myself in hand and guided my tip to her entrance. Taking a step closer, I buried my nose in her silky strands of raven colored hair. I inhaled deeply as I thrusted forward, earning a breathy gasp from her lips.
I wrapped my right arm around her waist, holding her body close to mine. My hand started sliding up her body to collect her hair at the nape of her neck. With her skin there exposed, I gently bit her flesh as I wound her hair around my fist. I jerked inside her, going deeper.
The guilt I usually had to ignore wasn’t what I was feeling. Instead of guilt, I felt anger and annoyance.
Sasha’s words had been on repeat in my head since our meeting the week before. I knew how badly I was fucking everything up, and fucking someone else was my way of dealing. In the last week, I’d been with Casey three different times, I’d gone out Saturday night, and Sarah had made seven. I could usually stretch my need to get laid once every two or three weeks, but something had happened in the last week that had me burying my anger in someone’s pussy.
I knew exactly what it was, too.
It was Sasha.
Having her walk into my life, fighting the way she did, lit a flame under me. I hadn’t been challenged in a long time. Everyone in my life was a yes-man, and I had nothing to fight for, nobody to fight against. Then she entered my office and challenged everything: the way I lived my life, the way I raised my daughter, the way I was healing from the loss of my wife. Instead of telling me I was doing everything right or making excuses for me, she called me out on my bullshit the way Chloe used to. What was it with the Willis women? Why did they think they were always right? Why were they always right?
The deeper my thoughts went, the faster my hips moved. With my guilt silent for the moment, my anger was prominent, and I used it to fuck her harder, faster. I noticed the way her hands were grabbing the edges of the porcelain sink—her fingernails painted black and chipping. Black nails, black dress, black hair… It all made me think of Sasha, and that shot a jolt of pleasure through my body as I’d never felt before.
Something about thinking of someone I could never touch caused my dick to thicken further in anticipation. Thinking of punishing her for the things she said to me made my orgasm begin to build. I clenched my eyes shut and imagined that it was her I had in front of me. I wanted to punish her for making the last week a living hell. I wanted to make her pay for saying that shit to me, for talking to me with so much disrespect in my own goddamn house.
My impending orgasm teased me more as I fucked her harder. She came undone before me, her pussy clenching my dick in waves as her release washed through her. Her come ran down her legs just as mine escaped me.
I bit my lower lip as I shuddered inside her, pumping my load into the condom not once, not twice, but three times. My ears began to ring as my hips slowed to a stop. I was breathless with my heart pounding against my chest. Every muscle began to loosen and relax, the pain and the weight of the day finally falling away. I felt like a whole new man.
That was, until I opened my eyes and saw that nothing had changed. My life was still utter shit, and there wasn’t anything I could do to fix it. All I could do was pull up my pants and drive back to the city, stay in my penthouse, far away from the child I knew I was fucking up and the woman who was apparently going to call me out on all my bullshit.
And know that I was never going to be happy again.
SEVEN
SASHA
Ihad just walked out of my new guidance counselor’s office when my phone rang. I pulled it from my pocket as I made my way down the sidewalk. I examined the number that didn’t look familiar, but I decided to answer it anyway in case it was someone from the school calling about my recent transfer.
“Hello?”
“Hi, is this Sasha?” a woman asked.
“Yes, who is this?”
“Sorry, this is Monica, Roman’s personal assistant. Do you remember me?”
I blinked away my confusion. “Yes, of course. How are you?”
“I’ll be much better now that Roman is finally coming to reason.” She chuckled. “Anyway, can we meet up to discuss the position? I want to explain a few things to you before you meet with Roman to sign the contract.”
“Oh, um…” I stopped walking and looked around me. “Yeah, I can meet with you. Where? When?”
“Would right now be super inconvenient?”
“No, I can. It just might take me a while to get to his place. I’m on campus.”
“That’s fine. I’ll come to you. I’m already near there anyway.”
“Okay, where do you want to meet?”
“There’s a coffee shop on the corner of Main and Third. I’ll meet you there in twenty minutes.”
I agreed and slid the phone back into my pocket before making the walk over. It seemed easier to walk the couple of blocks than to worry about finding parking again. It only took me a few minutes to walk over, so I grabbed myself a coffee and a freshly baked muffin to snack on while I waited. I looked over my new schedule, worried that it would coincide with whatever schedule Roman would have me on. I wanted to take online classes, but all the virtual desks were already full. Because I transferred mid-semester, I had to take what I could get.
