Shane and I had kissed.
My first kiss, hell, our first kiss, and it was the best thing I had ever experienced in my life.
Not just because it was fucking hot, but because it confirmed everything I already knew about myself.
I watched Shane get lost in a game of beer-pong on the other side of the room, smiling at him as we tipped beers toward each other, hoping no one else would see. It was a risk I was sure was a safe one because everyone else was already lost to either their own drunkenness.
I watched Reid walk over to Shane, the two of them sharing some kind of whispered secret. When Reid walked away, he looked over at me, tipping his head as he followed Lyla up the stairs.
Seconds later, Nick flopped down in front of me on the other side of the coffee table, tossing a deck of cards on to it. “Let’s go, assholes. I’m tired of beer-pong.” A few people stumbled over to sit around the table, Shane included. He sat next to me and I was so lost to his scent and his nearness that I didn’t even pay attention to the conversation about what drinking game we should play.
“Fucking awesome,” Nick called out as his girlfriend, Janie, handed everyone two beers. “’I’ve Never’ it is. But be warned, I brought my motherfucking poker face, fools.” The group laughed as Nick locked lips with Janie, pulling her down onto his lap.
The rules were simple: Someone asked a question and you drank if you’d done the thing they claimed to never have done. It was a fun, or dirty, way to get your friends to confess to their innermost secrets.
Fun, right?
I sighed, but reveled in the feel of Shane’s heat beside me. He had a girl to his side – Samantha, I think. I couldn’t care less about her name, though. All I could focus on was her fingertips traveling up and down his thigh as he sat, his legs crossed under the dark wood coffee table before us. From my vantage point, only I could see what she was trying to do to him, the tabletop concealing her movements.
I shimmied closer to Shane, pretending to reach for the beer that Janie had placed to his side. No one else noticed that I had two in front of me and even if they did say anything, I could just claim to be as drunk as they were and say I didn’t notice them.
“I’ll go first.” Sammy bounced with more excitement than was needed over a stupid drinking game. As she curled in closer to Shane, I took a huge gulp of my beer, swallowing back bitterness along with the alcohol because Shane didn’t seem upset she was touching him, or leaning in to whisper in his ear.
“I’ve never…” she paused for a minute, surely contemplating how she should finish her statement. She threw her hands out to the side and huffed, “…been drunk at a party.” Lame, but at least it was an easy one.
Everyone took a swig of their drinks and Nick laughed over at Sammy. “You’re full of shit. You’re drunk now.” He tipped his drink at her and she shrugged. “Let’s do this right,” Nick called out as he rested his elbows on the table, nearly missing it entirely. “I’ve never sucked a dick out in the pool house.” A sly smirk spread across his face and Janie smacked him on the arm, a heated blush racing across her face. I choked on my sip of beer, panicked that he saw Shane and I out there earlier.
“You’re a fucking asshole!” Janie cursed and tossed her beer in Nick’s face.
Nick just laughed, rubbing his hand over his face to rid it of the beer. He looked across the table at Shane and me for some kind of guy-support. I had no clue what kind of look he got from Shane because I was suddenly too nervous to say or do anything. Luckily, Sammy jumped up from her seat just in time to break the awkwardness that I’m sure was about to fall around us.
“Nice job, Nick,” Sammy sneered as she ran off to go find Janie.
Smugly, Nick just sat there, drinking his beer, flipping off Sammy’s retreating back. “Fucking women!” He raised his cup to us and we both laughed in agreement with him. “Not worth the trouble just for a blow every now and then, right?” Nick laughed again as he stood from the table.
“You might want to go do some damage control before you never get blown again,” I offered up my suggestion more out of Janie deserving an apology than out of Nick getting another blowjob. He was a certified asshole, through and through, but that didn’t mean Janie had to be embarrassed like that.
Nick muttered something as he stumbled away from the table. Seconds later, Reid came crashing down the stairs. The banister and girl at his side were the only things that kept him from face planting onto the hardwood floors.
Shane sighed and put down his cup. “I should get him home and sobered up.”
“Wait,” I gripped his thigh under the table where no one could see, “let me help.” Shane looked down at my hand, and where his face was rigid and tense just a second ago, his eyes now softened and a small smile curled at his lips; lips that were both soft and firm, tender and demanding. He didn’t say anything, just nodded subtly at me.
“Hey, man,” Reid slurred as Shane approached.
Shane rubbed a hand over his face and through his hair. Frustrated, he stared Reid down before puffing out a soft chuckle. “Dude, you’re such a fucking handful.” Reid shot him a dumbfounded look as if being drunk beyond all recognition shouldn’t be that big of a deal.
Shane and I looped our arms around Reid’s waist and helped him out to Shane’s car. Once we dumped him into the backseat, he fell over and passed out. “Well, at least he’s on his side. He won’t gag on his own vomit,” Shane joked, but I knew there was real concern there. Whether it was concern over his brother being way too drunk for his own good, or concern about what their father would do once they got home, I wasn’t sure.
But I did know for certain that I couldn’t let Shane deal with it alone. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, things changed back in that pool house. I changed and feelings I once thought would never come to the surface were right in front of me, staring me right in the eyes, making it impossible to ignore them anymore.
I had to do my best to protect Shane, and apparently getting Reid home safely was now part of that deal. “Why don’t you guys stay at my house tonight?” Shane kept his eyes on the road, ignoring my question; I’m sure it made him a little uneasy.
“We can sneak Reid into the basement. By the time he wakes up, my parents won’t even know he was drunk. We won’t have to explain anything to them and it’ll save you from having to deal with your dad.” An angry silence filled the cabin of the car.
“What the fuck do you know about my father?” Shane gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white.
“Seriously?” I twisted in my seat, facing him and meeting his angry stare. When he didn’t say anything, I puffed a sarcastic breath. “I’ve been your best friend for fucking years; I’ve seen him in action. You’ve told me enough, too. I’ve seen the black eyes and I’ve heard the fights. You can try to cover it up all you want, but I know he’ll lose his shit on both of you if you bring Reid home like this.” I tipped my head to the backseat where Reid was snoring like a beast. A palpable tension settled in between us. Taking a chance, I reached out and laced our fingers together, terrified that he’d pull away.
