Once again, he’d rendered me speechless, and damn, he knew it. As he adjusted back into his seat, he smiled again. The sun glimmered in his eyes and as I always had been, I was moved to open up to Quinn simply because of the way he looked at me.
He made me feel safe.
“Actually,no. I’ve never been here. I don’t get out that much.”
“Well, with a house like yours, I’m sure you’d much rather stay in, too. Besides, I’m sure it’s quite the bachelor pad.” He was fishing, trying to get a pulse on who I was.
Tired of holding up my defenses, I said, “It’s just that I’m always working. There isn’t much time to do anything else. And I don’t have too many people to go out with,really. Still kind of a loner.”
He looked at me with sadness in his eyes. “So you’ve never been to the harbor for a boat tour?”
“Nope, but I’ve always wanted to. Just never had someone to go with.” It took a lot of pride to admit that, but I didn’t want to be alone anymore, at least not this week, while I had the chance.
“Looks like today is your lucky day,” he announced before shoving thelast bite of his sandwich in his mouth. I couldn’t help but be happy.
Following his lead, I downed the last of my lunch and walked to his car. As he punched the address into his GPS, he told me to pick something on the radio. Scanning through the channels, I thought back to all those years ago when I told him I loved death metal music. What a crock of shit.
I settled on a classical music channeland waited for his reaction. Just as I expected, he craned his head toward me like I was a stranger sneaking into his car. “Classical?”
I shrugged. “Yeah. Is that okay? Do you mind?”
“Not at all. Just thought you were more of a Metallica person, at least that’s what I remember.”
I laughed and relaxed into the seat. “That was all a front. I figured people would leave me alone if they thoughtI was some emo, death metal, rocker kid.”
“Well then, I guess I don’t really know you at all,” he mused as he followed the winding road toward the harbor. “But then again, that’s the point of this week, huh?”
“What do you mean?”
He adjusted the volume and kept his eyes on the road. Shrugging, he said, “When we were kids, you left before I really got the chance to know you, to find out whatyou love and hate and who you really are. And I really wanted to do that. I wanted to know those things about you. But then you left.” Quinn tried desperately to hide the anger in his voice, to soothe over it with a deep breath as if exhaling would blow away all the pain.
“I don’t know what to say.” And that was the damn truth, because no matter what, the reason I left would go with me to thegrave. It was my greatest shame and there was no way in hell I was letting anyone know.
Especially Quinn.
“You don’t have to say anything,” Quinn continued. Surprisingly, he didn’t beg me for an explanation. “That’s all the past. It was so long ago it feels like another lifetime.”
“Damn, if that’s not the truth,” I agreed, loving the feeling of sharing laughter with him.
We turned down anothertwisting road before settling into the parking lot by the docks. “And then when you left before the wedding, well that was my sign. I still had so many feelings left unresolved and knew I couldn’t waste the next twelve years trying to figure them all out. So I came here because I needed to know who you are now. Not who you were then. God, we were both just kids.”
“It does feel like forever ago.”My voice was wistfully reminiscent, but painfully in the present. “I’d like to get to know you, too.”
Even though we still have to say goodbye.
But that was days away. I’d figure that out when the time came.
Maybe it was being in the small confine of the cabin of his car, or his intoxicating scent, or knowing that in just a few hours he’d taken me to see more of my home than I’d seen in theyears of living here, but without any hesitation, I covered his hand with mine and gently squeezed it. “Looks like if we hurry, we can catch that boat about to leave.”
He smiled at me, turned his hand over in mine, and squeezed it back. “Then let’s go.”
“You got some color.” When we were younger,Quinn was so fair he could walk past an open window and get a sunburn. But now, his complexion had deepened just a touch. And with his long blond hair, he looked more like a Greek god than a freckle-faced kid he used to be. “It looks good on you.”
He touched his face, wincing slightly. “Haven’t gotten out from behind my gear much this summer. This is really my first vacation this year.”
Andhe chose to spend it with me.
We’d made it back to my house after our trip around the harbor. It was the perfect day really. Hot but not oppressive. The ocean air was light and very much a relief when the heat did get a touch out of hand. But really what made it perfect was spending it with Quinn. To anyone looking on, we were just two people enjoying a boat tour, but to me it was so much more.
