Taking a second to gather my thoughts, I arrived at what I knew to be the most honest and real answer that existed. “I have no fucking clue,” I admitted, brushing a stray piece ofhair away from his long eyelashes. “But I know I need to find out.”
“But does anyone know? I mean about you being gay?” His fingers combed through my hair as the words fell from his mouth.
Laughter was the only response that made sense. “Hell, no,” I managed finally. “I barely knew,” I admitted, closing my eyes to the gentle lull of his touch.
“Well, that’s bullshit,” he said, moving his fingersdown, tracing along my jawline.
My eyes opened to find his smiling face waiting for my words. “Because you’re the expert on what my family knows?” I joked.
“Your family, no?” He brushed his thumb over my lower lip and the urge to nip and kiss it was irresistible. So I did. His lips pulled into a soft curve at the touch of my lips on his pad and then he said, “But not on you not knowing you weregay.” Hooking his leg up over my hip, he pulled me closer to him on the bed. Capturing my face in his hands, he spoke within a centimeter of my lips. “I knew there was something between us from the first time you came here. Remember that? When you tried your hand at welding?” He chuckled before kissing me gently.
“Yeah.” I laughed more at myself than the actual memory. “I could barely keep myhands steady because of you.” The admission fell so easily from my lips I wondered how long it had been sitting there waiting to come out. Quinn moved up on the bed, resting his back against the headboard and I followed suit. Sitting next to each other on his bed, holding hands, our calves softly resting up against one another, it was as natural as breathing. “But my family, now that’s a differentstory.” As I spoke, a pit of guilt twisted in my gut. But as if he could sense it, Quinn calmly brushed his thumb along the top of my hand. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to tell them.” Not wanting to envision that particular conversation, I quickly shifted the focus and asked, “What about your family?”
“My sister does. We share everything though. My parents…” He seemed to search for the rightwords. “Not yet, but I know I want to tell them soon.”
Maybe he registered the fear coursing through my blood or the anxious shift in the atmosphere, but whatever it was, he cupped the side of my face, pulled my face to his, and added, “But I won’t tell them a thing about you, about us. I mean… not because I’m embarrassed… I just mean—”
He would have continued rambling if I hadn’t cut him off.“I know what you mean and thank you.” My last words were lost to the heated breathlessness of another kiss. Within seconds, I was pulling him on top of me, our bodies writhing together in a motion like we’d just watched on the computer. Clawing at his back and holding him steady against my body, I wanted more of him. I wanted this never to end.
And if it hadn’t been for the distinct sound ofmy father’s car pulling into the driveway, I would have done my best to stay like that forever. “Shit,” I cursed, nearly throwing him off me in the process. Clumsily, I made my way to the window next to his bed and saw Patrick making his way to the passenger door of Dad’s car. “Shit, shit, shit.” Flustered and far more afraid of being caught than anything, I rushed around the room trying to gathermy things so I could escape.
With my hand on the door knob, Quinn steadied me by putting his hand on my shoulder. He spun me around and pressed his finger to his lips. It was kind of pointless to shush me, seeing as they were outside and couldn’t hear us even if they tried their hardest. But the fact that he did anyway made me realize just how understanding he was of my worries. Glued to thespot, I watched as Quinn moved back over to the window. Who knew what he saw down there, but a few seconds later, he turned back to me and said, “He’s gone. Sarah’s downstairs. Just give me a few minutes and then you can leave.”
“But you can’t—”
He was standing right in front of me then, silencing the rest of my concerns with the soft caress of his lips taking mine. “I promise I won’t say athing about you.” He kissed me again, sealing the vow of his next words. “Your secret is safe with me, always.”
And he did just as he promised. He walked out of his room, leaving my heart hammering impossibly hard in my chest, and greeted his sister downstairs. I couldn’t hear exactly what he was saying, but I caught the mumbled conversation through the cracked-open door. I didn’t hear my name,or anything remotely close to what sounded like him telling her what we’d just done. And as I stood there making sure my secret was in fact safe with him, I laughed at how ridiculous it would have been for him to tell her.
“Sorry, Sarah, but you can’t come upstairs because me and Ryan are making out and if it hadn’t been for you and his brother pulling into the driveway, we would still be atit.”
Quinn’s footsteps sounding out as he ran up the stairs pulled me from the imaginary conversation with his sister. “What did you tell her?”
He shrugged. “I didn’t have to say anything. Just let her know we were working on our shop project. She was too busy daydreaming about your brother to even notice me walking into the kitchen. She’s already on her phone texting all her friends. I’m sureI’ll hear all about it later.”
“Better you than me,” I said, thankful the coast was clear.
“Patrick isn’t the type to kiss and tell?” There was hope for his sister in his question.
I didn’t want to burst his bubble, but I also didn’t want to lie. “Patrick is an asshole. To me anyway. He always has been. Where girls are concerned—” I paused, making my best effort to choose my words carefully.“He’s always up front with them. He’s not a liar like that. He tells them exactly what he’s out for, if it’s a fling type thing or not.” Quinn cringed at that idea. “But if he didn’t come in, hell, he even walked around the car to open her door, I think it’s safe to say he actually likes her.”
“But you said he was an asshole. Do I need to worry about her?”
“She’s your sister. From what I cansee, you’re going to worry about her one way or the other. And, yeah, he’s an asshole, but really only to me.”
Silence passed between us as a childhood of wrestling matches played out in my head. “Okay,” he agreed. “I don’t like that he treats you like that, but I’ll take your word for it where Sarah is concerned.”
The desire to kiss him again was so fierce I actively had to talk myself outof it. Instead, I gathered my articles from the computer, took a deep breath, and walked back to his door. “I should go.”
He nodded and walked out ahead of me. Just as he said, Sarah was blind to everything going on around her as she sat on the couch, punching out text after text. He walked me to the door and stepped out onto the porch with me. “So, um, yeah…,” he rambled, his words seeming tofail him.
I couldn’t help but laugh and repeat the same thing because my words all escaped me now. “Yeah, I feel the same.” We shared a soft smile as a goodbye and I walked down the block toward my house feeling as if I were floating on a cloud.
It was all so indefinite, so hopeful and scary all at once.
But the one unmistakable feeling washing over everything in my head and heart was one ofhappiness.
