Shit.I cursed to myself. I wanted him to be happy, but hell,I wasn’t even in any kind of situation to help myself out financially for college. That guilt played a major part in me deciding to stay at home for the first two years. I wanted to see Ryan happy more than I could even put to words, but at the same time, I was in no position to help him out in the way he needed.
Helpless.
He’d left me utterly helpless and I hated that feeling.
“What can Ido?” I asked, hoping for the best.
Producing another sheet of paper from his backpack, he held it out for me to take. When I had it in my hands, he summarized the words typed across the top as I read them. “The essay question is a bit of a struggle. I meet all the other requirements in spades, but I just need some help thinking of ‘more ecologically sound ways to help produce the homes of thefuture,’” he recited from the instructions as my eyes moved across them. “I’d ask my parents for help, well, if they cared. I was actually surprised they asked me where I was going the other day when I came to work on our project. Of course they didn’t ask much about the project itself or my interest in design.” He paused, reflecting on some emotion working its way through his head. “I’m surprisedthey even asked about you and what we were working on.” A wave of sadness washed over his face as his eyes locked onto mine. “They’ve never had any friends of mine to ask about.” Shame made him lower his head, casting his eyes downward as if the floor was the most interesting thing in the world.
Genuinely excited, and overcome with so much admiration for him, I said, “Hell, yeah. I have a shitton of ideas. That’s what I was actually planning on… never mind,” I caught myself before I started rambling. “Yeah, come upstairs. I have a few articles I was reading through and I know of a bunch of sites that I use.”
Without question, he followed behind where I lead. As the old clichés warned, it was the blind leading the blind, into what was hopefully the most enlightening vision of themall.
