“You sure this is theright thing to do?” Gavin asked. Sitting on my bed, he handed me the bowtie for my tuxedo. “I mean, is it going to piss him off?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Do you think he’ll be happy to see you?”
“I don’t know,” I said, shrugging again.
“You don’t know much, huh?” He laughed as he stood to help me fix my tie.
“Not really.” Brushing my hands down the front of the tux, I took stock of myreflection in the mirror. I had to admit, I cleaned up nice. Turning around to face Gavin, I took a deep breath. “I do know that these last few days have sucked not having him around. He makes me feel like I can turn my life around, like I’m worth something, you know?”
Gavin nodded. We’d talked a bunch in the last week or so since I quit the strip club. He apologized for not letting me know whatwas going on. Even though he felt like he was protecting me, he understood why I felt embarrassed and ashamed. I even told him about Noah’s offer to take me and Benny in until I finished school. It was an opportunity I didn’t realize I still wanted, and the thought of still having a chance to become something excited me beyond measure.
And it was all possible because of Noah.
“I have to giveit one last shot. If he made me feel worthy, then I need to make him feel the same.”
“Even if—” Gavin started.
“Yes.” I nodded, cutting him off. “Even if he can’t be with me because I remind him too much of his failures, I need to make him feel like he’s worthy, like he’s important and special. He’s done more than that for me.”
“All right, man,” Gavin said, clapping me on the back. “Knock ’emdead.”
“Thanks. And don’t forget—”
Pulling out his phone from his back pocket, he said, “Yep, got it. I’m on text duty with Benny.”
“Thank you. And thank you for letting me steal your car for the night.”
He nodded, wishing me good luck once more before I left the apartment.
On the way to the award ceremony, my stomach knotted itself up so tightly I figured it would just stay like that permanently.There was no way it could ever ease itself free. When I was about a minute away from the hotel where the event was being held, my phone buzzed in the center console. Even though I was itching to see who it was from—I still held out hope that Noah would break and get in touch with me—I was responsible enough to wait until I stopped to read it.
As I pulled into a parking spot, I opened the missedmessage. It wasn’t Noah. But Wes’s words of encouragement helped bolster my courage. Just as I patted my jacket pocket for the speech I’d written, my phone buzzed again. It was Wes, again.
You better get in here now. They moved around the order of the awards. His is up first.
Well, that lit a fire under my ass. We’d already set up a plan for Wes to let me in the side door so this way Noah wouldn’tsee me. Their boss was already aware of my plan to speak on Noah’s behalf, and while he was wary of it at first, he stood by his choice for Noah as Doctor of the Year. If my words could sway him, he said to me that morning I’d called him, he would gladly love to hear what I had to say about him.
Wes waved his arm, calling me over to the open door. “You just made it,” he whispered. “Cosentinais speaking now. You all set?”
“As much as I’ll ever be,” I said, pulling my speech from my pocket.
From the side of the podium they’d set up in front of the reception hall, I listened to Doctor Cosentina speak, saying, “While I would love to make a short speech, talking about this year’s Doctor of the Year, I think it’s in my best interest to let this young man do that for me. It seems he hasmuch more insight into this year’s recipient than I ever will.”
The crowd fell silent, unsure of how to react to his announcement. Taking his cue to walk out there, I stepped onto the small stage, the lights blinding me in the process. Once I adjusted to being blinded, I was thankful for my inability to see into the crowd. Somehow, it was easier to say what I had to say without worrying abouthow other people were reacting.
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Administrators, doctors, distinguished guests,” I began. Though I could hardly see anything, my eyes tracked Wes as he took his seat, the one right next to Noah. “The man who has been chosen tonight as this year’s Doctor of the Year is a man unlike one I’ve ever known. Above every single great quality he possesses, the one thatstrikes me the most is his humility. He’s so humble, in fact, that he attempted to decline this award. He was beyond exhausted and his body simply couldn’t stay awake any longer. But he sees it as a mistake—and error too grand, too life-altering he couldn’t possibly carry around the weight of this award while he was busy attempting to balance the guilt of my parents’ death.” Letting the collectivegasp of the audience settle, I paused, catching my breath.
“Like all of us,” I continued, “Doctor Carpenter has made mistakes. But what he fails to see is the same thing I can’t possibly ignore. In the months that I’ve known Doctor Carpenter, he has never once let my mistakes be the defining factor in the way that he’s seen me. In fact, he’s done everything in his power to make me look at mylife in a different way. So tonight, I’m here to do the same for him. Noah—” I spoke only to him now. Clearing my throat of the building emotion, I pulled my eyes away from the speech. Already having this part memorized, I tucked it into my pocket and spoke. “Nothing could ever bring my parents back. And while I would do anything I could to have them right here next to me, I can’t help but think theybrought me to you. You are the greatest gift I’ve ever received. I want them here with me, guiding me, supporting me, loving me. But that can’t happen. But this can.” Motioning between us, I paused, hoping he saw what I was getting at. “You bring out the best in me. All the possibilities I thought were extinguished forever, blaze to life with you around. You are exactly the kind of man my parentswould have wanted me to fall in love with. You love me just as I am. And I couldn’t possibly love you anymore than I already do, for the doctor you are, for the man you are. So please don’t let their absence define who you are, who we are. We both deserve to be happy, and nothing would bring me more happiness than giving you this award, for your contributions to the hospital and the patients youcare for on a daily basis. Without you, this world would be a far grimmer place. And so would my life.”
A slow round of applause rolled through the crowd. It grew louder with each passing second. In the blink of an eye, the crowd was on their feet, giving Noah a standing ovation as he walked up to the podium where I held his plaque in one hand, and my heart in the other.
“Chase,” he mutteredagainst my neck, as he pulled me into a tight hug. “I… I don’t know what to say,” he whispered into my ear, still holding onto me for dear life.
“First, give your acceptance speech and then….” Saying nothing more, I slipped a piece of paper into his hand before walking away.
Waiting outside for him felt like an eternity, even though in reality it was no longer than fifteen minutes. “Nice touch,”he said, walking toward me. Holding out the note I gave him, he read aloud, “Meet me outside,” he said. “But where’s the black limo?”
