“He has—”
“I know. He’ll probably get a full ride somewhere, but that doesn’t pay for travel and books and food and beer. Parents pay for those things. That’sall on me.” I watched from across the table as Chase accepted his drink from the waiter. After a big sip of it, he looked over at me, saying, “I just don’t know what to do. I looked at the ads the other day, and there isn’t much out there. This market blows.”
Sipping my drink, I wracked my brain from immediate ideas that could somehow solve the problem we were facing.
We.
Resonating in my head,that word carried more weight than any other I’d spoken recently.
We.
We were up against everything else out there and with that thought in my head, I knew there was no way we couldn’t tackle anything the world would hand us. I used the span of time it took the waiter to take our orders for me to come up with the idea I knew would solve our problems.
Our.
“Hear me out,” I said, taking a sipof my vodka on the rocks. “I know this might be a bit out there,” I defended needlessly. Who knew how he would feel about it all. Gathering my courage, I swallowed my pride with my vodka and said, “Move in with me. You and Benny,” I continued through his presumed protest. “You can go back to school. Benny can worry about his scholarships. And then whatever job or internship you do get, you can savethe money and use it for Benny, or whatever you need. But it wouldn’t have to be on rent or on utilities or food or that shit.”
My heart soared when he didn’t answer right away. Could he be thinking about it? Maybe, just possibly, was he considering it? I’d never been so hopeful of any possibility.
“I—”
“I know, Chase,” I said, reaching my hands out across the table. “I know it’s all so fast,but I’m being honest here.” Pausing for a moment, I made sure that his eyes were locked on mine as the next words tumbled from my lips. “I can’t imagine a life that doesn’t have you in it. And having you in it means having Benny there, too. And that’s not out of obligation,” I defended. “He’s an amazing kid, and I want to spend more time with him because I know I’ll love him and take care of himjust like he was mine.” I paused, running my hand across my beard. “And I know that’s a little weird to say. I mean it’s not like he’s four and a cute little kid. Let’s face it; Benny is as awkward as a teen as they come, but man, is he an awesome kid. And I want to be there for him just as much as I want to be there for you.” For the first time ever, I didn’t mind that my voice took on this almostbegging-like quality. I wanted them in my life and I wasn’t afraid to make Chase aware of that. As I leaned forward in my chair even more, I pulled our joined hands up to my lips. “Please, just at a least think ab—”
“Okay,” he answered, rocking me to the core. “Okay,” he said again, almost as if he was reassuring himself more than me. “I think that could… yeah, that could work. I mean, I don’tknow the—”
“I don’t know either,” I interrupted, needing to get my own ideas out before they slipped from my head. “I don’t know any of this, but I do know that when Rob and I moved in together, I had so many worries. There were so many red flags, so many concerns that I ignored. I chalked them all up to cold feet for this reason or that, but I never paid them any mind. I wanted it too much.My family had already disowned me just years before.” Chase’s fists balled up on the table, and it took quite a bit of strength to peel his fingers apart. “And so when Rob came along, I clung to him because he was the first time I’d ever experienced love. What I thought was true love. Clearly, that wasn’t the case.”
This time it was Chase’s turn to pull our hands up to his lips. The waiter tookthis opportunity to serve us our meals. It was perfect timing really because if I would have continued with what I was saying, I wasn’t sure I would have been able to do so without shedding a tear. At almost the exact same time, we pushed our meals out of the way so we could rejoin our hands more easily.
Without even so much as a soft chuckle, I grabbed his hands again. “Truthfully, though, Ihad so many reservations when it came to Rob. There was something screaming out to me from deep in my gut, telling me he wasn’t the answer. But I ignored it. I don’t know why, but I did. And with you, Chase, my God…” I let out a deep exhale with my words. “With you, there’s something telling me, in the calmest and most peaceful of ways, that this is it. This is what it’s supposed to be. I don’t knowwhat it is and I don’t know why, but every bone in my body, every drop of blood flowing in my veins, it just all feels right when you’re there by my side and I know I’d do anything in my power to make our lives the way they should be.”
Emotions I couldn’t name wavered across his face. They must have reflected the ones dancing in my soul because when he said, “I know. I feel the same way,” a kaleidoscopeof colors burst in my brain, a celebration of everything I thought I’d never have coming to life in that instant.
We exchanged bright smiles as we pulled our meals in front of us. As Chase cut into his steak, he looked over at me. Just before he took his first bite, he said, “I’m paying you rent though.”
“Like hell you are,” I insisted. “The whole point—”
“I know. The whole point is to savemoney, but I can’t just live there and not pay my way. And Benny’s.”
“Oh, you’ll pay,” I joked.
“What am I? Your sex slave or something?” he asked, just as the waiter came by to refill our water. Dismissing the look of shock on his face, Chase said, “I guess I offended his tender sensibilities.”
“Now he’s gonna be thinking about you and me in all sorts of positions, I bet.”
We laughed againand continued eating. Since I knew this was something we would need to get out of the way before moving forward, I said, “But seriously, Chase, no rent. I make more than enough money, and with Benny going to school, the last thing you need is rent. Besides, remember what we talked about the other day? About you letting me help you? Because if you don’t, I could take that belt out again.”
Chaseswallowed hard and reached for his bourbon. In one big swill, he finished the rest of his drink, his eyes widening and his breathing racing. “What if I want you to?”
“That can be arranged,” I promised, pitching my voice low. “But you’re still not paying me rent.”
Between all the talk of belts, and sex slaves, by the time the waiter cleared out plates, we could barely stand to be in public anylonger. I didn’t even look at the bill when he brought it. All I wanted to do was get out of the restaurant and into Chase’s pants. As we stood by the valet station, our fingers danced together in the way our bodies would later. With just the tip of his finger, he traced along the lines of my fingers. The feel of his skin gracing mine was so soft but so intense. My pulse raced just from the simplestcontact.
When the valet pulled up with my car, we couldn’t get into it quick enough. I was in such a rush to get us out of there, my foot slipped off the gas pedal, and we shot forward, the car jerking awkwardly.
“Let’s get out of here,” Chase said, looking at me with a devilishly handsome shimmer in his eyes. “I think my first payment is in order.”
Needing no more encouragement than that,I pulled out of the parking lot and onto the main road. My attention was mostly on the road in front of me, but half my brain was focused on what he had in mind. Before I knew it, he was scooting over in his seat so that he was as close to the driver’s side without actually sitting on my lap. When he reached over the center console, the feel of his fingers dancing on my thigh startled me. “Shh,” hewhispered, moving his touch close to my cock, which grew rock-hard beneath my jeans. “Just drive and let me take care of the rest,” he promised, moving his fingertip up and down my length as it grew and hardened.
