Theo was right. Iwanted Gavin more than I knew what to do with it. But I knew he wouldn’t want me back. And for all I knew, I just needed to get laid. Being a closeted gay man who had only had sex once in his entire life at the ripe age of twenty-three wasn’t ideal for anyone. And it definitely wasn’t ideal for the man who wanted his straight best friend.
Without even saying goodbye to Gavin, I left the party.Once I was away from the noise of everything, I pulled out my cell phone to call a cab. As I sat on the curb waiting for my ride, I thought about how I used to feel so damn lucky. The small community right outside of Gainesville, Florida was the perfect place to grow up. And when I was fortunate enough to earn a full academic scholarship to the University of Florida, I felt like I’d won the lottery.From the day I could remember, I was bound and determined never to work for the meager salary my father earned at his blue-collar construction job. I loved him for taking care of his family, but I hated how hard he had to work, only to barely get by.
And when he was laid off just a few months ago, I felt like I’d lost my hope too. If I wasn’t a semester away from graduating from one of the bestbusiness administration programs in the country, I would have given up entirely. Holding tight to the idea that everything was about to change, I took a deep breath, blowing away the frustrations I tried so hard never to let settle in my chest.
The cab pulled up a minute later, and as I sat in the back seat, I gave him my address. Suddenly, the idea of curling up in my warm bed, and dozing offto the idea of what my future might hold, was the most appealing one I could think of.
Then my phone buzzed.
“What’s up?” I asked my brother, more than a little surprised he was calling me so late.
“Uh,” he muttered, and I could hear his voice shaking. Something was wrong. “It’s uh…um…,” he rambled. Then the words stopped altogether. That’s when the crying took over.
“Benny,” I said his namecalmly, hoping the steadiness of my voice would bring him back to the conversation. “What is it? Talk to me.”
“It’s Mom and Dad.”
Four words that forever changed my life. And the future that only minutes ago shone so brightly within my reach, dimmed and shrunk back into the pitch-black, never to be seen again.
