“Having fun?” I called out, my voice booming over their moans of pleasure.
“Oh shit!” Rob yelled. Fumbling with the sheets, he rushed to cover himself which I found absolutely ridiculous. “I thought you had work today.”
Incredulity bubbled in my chest. Clenching my fists, I worked hard not to punch something, not to punch the unnamed man who was lying naked in my fucking bed. “You thoughtI had work?” I asked, my words laden with so much venom I could actually feel their weight as they fell from my mouth. “You’re balls deep in another man, and all you could come up with is you thought I had work,” I seethed. The other man turned his head toward me, and all my fears came to life before my eyes. “Colin,” I spat his name like the curse it was.
Before Rob could respond, Colin slidfrom the bed, pulling a blanket with him. Keeping his eyes trained on my bathroom door, I watched as he tried his best to avoid the confrontation entirely. “You don’t have to go,” I said to him as he froze in his tracks. Turning my attention back to Rob, I said, “I’m going to give you until noon to get all your shit out of here. That includes him.” It took all my effort to keep my voice as even andemotionless as possible as I pointed at Colin.
“But,” Rob started.
“But fucking nothing.” My voice boomed so loudly I thought a picture might fall from the wall. “I’ll be back at noon and you won’t be here.”
Turning my back on him was more difficult than I wanted to admit because even though I hated him more than anything in that moment, I still loved him. And I knew it would be the hardestfucking thing in my life to learn not to love him.
The days dragged. The weeks were endless.
In the time since Rob was officially out of my life, I’d become nothing more than numb, and that was on my best day.
The shitty part was that I wasn’t numb because I’d lost him. The opposite was true, in fact. I was angry. Damn, there were times I’d been so angry I yelleduntil my voice hurt; I drank until I passed out. So many times, I wanted to punch something, the wall, hell, even the brick fireplace was an enticing target. And if my life and well-being, and that of others, didn’t rely on my hands, I just might have.
So I tried my best to deal with my anger. Turns out I’m really shitty with emotions.
Maybe that was the problem in the first place.
Not today,Satan. I’d have all the time in the world to reflect on how I was fucked up but tonight wasn’t the night to do that.
Tonight was about Chelsea, which she’d reminded me time and time again this week, leading up to her bachelorette party. I loved her to death, really I did. But good lord, I couldn’t wait for this wedding to be over with.
“You’re not going to just sit there all night and sulk,are you?” A sharp elbow to my rib accompanied her question. Both were more than a little annoying.
Twisting the cap off my beer, I answered as politely as I could muster, “No. I promise.” And I was being sincere. I didn’t want to be in a piss-poor mood tonight. Chugging down half my drink, I leaned up against the kitchen counter. After taking a deep breath, I made a promise to myself to let goof the shit month I’d had. It wasn’t her fault, after all. “Besides,” I added as I pulled my best friend to my side. “I wouldn’t want to piss off Miss Bridezilla.” I was able to pop a quick kiss on the top of her head before she shoved away.
“Damn straight!” She laughed, grabbing my beer out of my hand. “And it won’t be long before it’s Mrs. Bridezilla.” A cloud of white floated through the airas she lifted the novelty wedding veil from the island. After adjusting it on her head, she smiled at me. “Let’s have some fun tonight. Forget all about that asshole of an ex-boyfriend. You deserve more than him anyway.” As she lifted the last of my beer to her lips, the doorbell rang and she raced into the living room.
More than thankful for the abrupt end to that topic of conversation, I openedthe fridge and pulled out another beer. If I was going to have fun tonight, I was going to need at least a few drinks in me. It wasn’t that I didn’twantto be here, because celebrating Chelsea’s wedding was definitely important to me, even if that meant being the only man at this damn party.
My sour mood had more to do with me not really wanting to be anywhere, lately.
My entire world was flippedupside-down when Rob cheated. I laughed, thinking that it was the first time it’d happened. Something in my gut told me I knew about the affair long before I had proof of its existence. Yet in my case, the old saying “seeing is believing” held true. And knowing he had been with another man in my bed made me want to burn the fucking mattress. I didn’t, because with my luck I’d burn the housedown. Sleeping on the couch for a week was more than enough atonement for whatever I’d done to push him away. In the weeks since I found him in such a compromising position, I’d stopped longing for him, stopped wondering why I was so worried about saving us.
In the time since he’d moved out, my pain had transformed into a tangled knot of anger, twisted and tied so tightly together, I was certainI’d never be the same. A haunting vision of that morning flashed through my head amidst the chatter of a few girls in the living room.
“Noah!” Chelsea yelled, pulling me from my horrid memories. “The limo is here. Get your sweet ass in here now.”
As I swallowed the last of my beer in one huge gulp, I also drank down my anger. Rob made his choice, and as much as I hated that it wasn’t me, therewas no point in wallowing in it.
Especially when my plans included a night at the hottest male strip joint in town.
