“LEAVE ME THE fuck alone,” were the last words I ever said to him. It could be another decade, and they’d never be erased from my memory.
Never in my life, even in all those rage-filled, knock-down, drag-out fights I’d ever had with my father, had I ever wanted to swallow my words more.
Shaking away the memories of that day, I couldn’t help but wonder what Micah looked like now. Just as the pain I felt when I saw him walking away from me was seared in my memory, the happiness I felt when I saw his name pop up on my computer screen was just as vivid. He’d appeared assomeone I might knowsince we had other friends in common and I’d actually laughed at the suggestion.
Yeah, you could say I know him.Hovering my mouse over his name, I’d scoffed and wondered if he would even recognize my name. Hell, after the way I’d treated him, I wouldn’t have blamed him if he’d ignored me forever. Needless to say, when he’d accepted my request, I’d been shocked. I’d been even more surprised when he’d eventually e-mailed me back—a few months later. It hadn’t been more than a casual hello, nothing of real importance. Besides, it hadn’t been like I was going to admit to stalking his page every day, looking for a picture of him. After a while, I’d let go of the idea that I’d catch a glimpse of what he looked like. I’d have taken any tidbit of information at that point, but the man was like a locked vault. He never posted anything. His wall had been entirely blank, the only indicator he was the same Micah I’d known years ago was the few pieces of information in his profile. Going on that and a hunch that the American flag as a profile picture was a deliberate choice on his part, I’d gone out on a limb and reached out. There’d been so many times I’d wanted to apologize for the things I’d said, for everything I’d done. But it never seemed right to type out the words.
They needed to be said.
And that was an opportunity I figured I’d never have. Of course it was a lame-ass excuse. I’d never forget that day as long as I lived. Surely, he felt the same. But I was too afraid to know that for certain. So rather than doing the right thing, I’d let the coward in me win, and I bit my tongue, never apologizing for all the pain I caused him.
Pushing down memories of the last time I’d seen Micah, I refocused my attention back on the road before me. Not that I really needed to. Having lived in the same town my entire life, I was pretty sure I could drive anywhere with my eyes closed and arrive safely.
So as I drove to work, I smiled far too big thinking about Micah driving to my home.
Chuckling at myself, I realized just how full circle my life had come, or stagnant, depending on how you looked at it. The car lurched as I shifted it into Park. The lot was essentially empty, except for a few coaches and custodians. Summer vacation didn’t usually call for too many people to be at school, but since I’d started here four years ago, I’d spent every summer running a youth football camp for the local kids who couldn’t afford the other football camps. In Texas, football was life. And it always came with a hefty price tag. Unfortunately, not every family could afford it. So from day one, it was always my goal to run the camp with money my team fundraised throughout the year. Even the year we came up shy of the amount we needed, I laid it out of my own pocket. The kids needed the camp more than I needed a few thousand in my savings account.
The money never mattered to me. What remained as the shining achievement of my very young program was the fact that I’d managed to get the high school players to volunteer as counselors. Convincing high school kids to give up their summer vacation and not get paid was not an easy task, but after that first week, they saw the reward for their efforts. And from then on, my camp developed the reputation of being the place to be.
After slinging my bag over my shoulder, I walked toward the building. It was odd to think about how much I’d hated this place growing up. It wasn’t exactly warm and inviting for me. And now, well, it felt like home.
And it damn well should’ve. I’d worked my ass off to make it feel that way.
“Hey, Coach,” Aaron called out. A senior and the quarterback, he defined the stereotype of All-American football star. With a full ride all but guaranteed to whatever school he wanted to attend, his last year of high school was merely a formality. Yet still, he chose to spend his summer here, teaching ten-year-olds how to play the sport flowing through his veins.
With a quick nod, I said, “Morning, guys,” addressing the two other kids who had just walked out of the locker room. “Why don’t you get started pulling out the tackling dummies? Coach B and I will be out there in a few minutes.”
“Yes, sir,” they answered in unison before walking toward the equipment room.
Swinging the door open to the office I shared with my assistant coach was always like playing Russian roulette. I never knew if I was going to get the clothed version or the naked one. The perpetual early riser, Brandon arrived at practice well before I did and got a long workout in. And it always seemed like my arrival was perfectly matched with the precise second he walked out of the shower at the back of our office.
Having played football all through college, I was no stranger to seeing my teammates in all stages of undress walking around the locker room. It was a little different when it was your colleague.
Brandon didn’t see it that way.
So as I downed the last of my coffee, I was graced with the sight of him toweling off his balls.
“Nice to see you, too,” he greeted sarcastically as I covered my eyes.
“Do you have any shame?” Shaking my head, I began unpacking my bag. “Like any at all,” I added as he helicoptered his dick.
“No shame in shaking what your momma gave ya.” Brandon was fresh out of college and despite being a teacher, he was a jock through and through. As much as he was ever the professional around the kids, and administration for that matter, he was never anything more than a guy’s guy around me.
“I’m just gonna ignore that,” I said, holding up my coffee. “Let me know when you’re ready to work. You know what that is, right?” I joked.
His middle fingers danced in the air as he walked backward toward the changing area. Yes, there was actually a changing area, yet this fool still decided to walk around naked.
There are some things in life I’d never understand.
Brandon’s serenade of “I’m Too Sexy” did nothing but make me laugh as I planned the morning workout for the kids. Luckily, he was just about done singing as I heard a large group of boys file into the gym area. After they had all made a quick stop in the locker room to change and drop off their bagged lunches, the campers and volunteers made their way out to the field, eager, or at least pretending to be, to start their one mile warm up.
Everyone was quick to fall in line, even Brandon. Before I even realized it, the morning session was just about over. Laps, drills, and sprints had a way of making the time pass rather quickly—especially if you’re the one making sure everyone else is doing what they’re supposed to be doing.
By noon, the temperature in the gym was far worse than it was outside. So after the kids grabbed their lunches from inside, they huddled together in the shade to eat. It was always a bright spot in my day to watch them interact with each other. Brandon and I did our best to stay out of their non-practice time. We both felt like the kids needed some time on their own to develop their own bonds without feeling like we were always hovering over them.
We kept an eye on them, of course. But we always tried to be a little more covert about it.
Midway through the second half of my sub, Brandon elbowed me in the ribs, making me choke on the bite I was in the middle of chewing. “Dude, what the hell?”
