“YOU DIDN’T HAVE to do that,” I insisted for the hundredth time since we’d left dinner.
Jude unlocked the front door, and we were greeted by an excited, and ready to burst, Sarge, dancing on the hardwoods. “I know. I don’t do anything I don’t want to,” he assured me.
I still feltoff.There was some kind of invisible precipice over which we’d crossed and an unsettling energy vibrated all around me, one unlike any other I’d felt in my entire life.
Except at war.
As I went out into the backyard with Sarge, I evaluated my feelings about the entire day. Jude did everything to make me feel loved. Every single decision he made today was about my comfort. About reassuring all the uncertainties flying through my fucked-up head. And it backfired in his face in ways neither of us could have expected.
Sinking down into the chair beside the fire pit, I tossed a tennis ball out to Sarge who needed to release some pent-up energy. My fingers fidgeted with the same restlessness. Down to my bones, I wished he hadn’t risked it all for me. That asshole who interrupted our dinner didn’t seem all that stable. Being a gay man in the army, I knew all the antidiscrimination laws in the world couldn’t protect someone from white-hot hatred.
And then there was the petrified look in that kid’s eyes.
That gutted me more than anything.
Deep down, I knew tonight Jude had taken a stand for more than just our love.
He stood up to that fucker for the little boy who would never have the ability to beat the man who beat him.
With a renewed love for the man digging through the cabinet for a stiff drink, I walked into the kitchen, relieved my life had taken the twists and turns it had.
Because without each and every one of them, I wouldn’t be here.
Right where I belonged.
Sarge flopped onto his bed, cutting the tense silence spreading out between us.
“Jude.” Walking toward him, I couldn’t peel my eyes away from his arms. Folded across his strong chest, they bulged under the weight of their own muscles. “I—” Not knowing what to say next, I ran my fingers through my short hair, missing the extra length that usually granted me a few seconds of time to think. Going with my instincts, I spoke the words I’d been holding back for over a decade. “I love you.”
Jude’s face went slack with what I can only assume was disbelief. Stopping him before he opened his mouth any wider, I said, “I’m not saying it because you did.” Stepping into his space, I wrapped both my arms around his warm body. I needed to dismiss his concerns before they even moved past his full lips. “I’m not saying it because of what that asshole did.” A pit of anger formed in my gut as I thought back to the events leading us to this point. Sadness transformed Jude’s vibrant green eyes into a softer, mossier color. Tears shone there as if they were afraid to cascade down his ruddy cheeks. “I’m saying it because I mean it.” Moving my warm hand to his cheek, I brushed my thumb under his eye as the first tear fell. “It was a truth I wanted to deny my entire life, or at least what felt like it, but it’s always been you.”
With the confession of Delilah and Simon on the tip of my tongue, Jude kissed the words out of my mouth. As he ran his hands through my hair, scratching his short nails against my scalp, all thoughts of the life I used to live vanished, hitching a ride on the goose bumps racing across my skin.
We stumbled backward to the couch, stopping only when the arm brushed up behind my knees. “I need you,” Jude muttered into my neck, gripping my hair to expose my skin to his lips. “All my life I’ve needed you. And here you are.”
“Me too.” Grinding my hips into his, I needed this release more than I needed anything. “Take me. Jude, fucking take me. I’m yours.”
Passion weakened my knees, boiled my blood, blurred my vision.
As I stood in front of him, he stripped me of my clothes so roughly I’d be surprised if he didn’t tear the fabric.
His arm gripped my shoulder so roughly I knew he’d leave a bruise, and I wanted nothing more than to bear the marks of his desire on my skin. Almost forcefully, he pushed me over the arm of the couch, serving my ass up to his waiting mouth. His tongue plunged into my body, filling me with more pleasure than I thought possible. He spread my cheeks, and it was as if his need to be deeper inside me only rivaled my need to have him deeper.
His heat was gone, leaving me wanting, no, needing more. So much more.
The sound of his belt hitting the floor let me know thatmorewas what I would get very soon. “Your ass . . . fuck,” he cursed as he slapped my bare skin. The sting was nothing compared to the needy tingle that followed. “Micah . . . I need to . . . now . . .” The neediness in his voice told me exactly what he was asking.
The tip of his cock teasing against my asshole was a fairly clear indication as well.
“Do it. I want you. I need you,” I begged, pressing my body against his. “I trust you.” Looking over my shoulder, my eyes met his. They were full of need. Full of desire.
Full of love.
“I trust you, too.” His words were a vow, for all we needed to, but couldn’t say right there.
And when his naked body pushed into mine, everything in my unsteady life fell into place like never before.
“Oh fuck,” Jude cried out, thrusting his cock into my willing body with such ferocity, I was certain I wouldn’t be able to walk tomorrow. “Micah . . . Micah . . . Micah . . .” Each time my name fell from his mouth, his cock hit a deeper spot inside my body.
