Although that thought alone had me ready to come all over again.
“Since it seems like you could use a little break, why don’t we spend some time on me.” As if I needed the fucking invitation. Jude moved from the edge of the bed back to the center of it, keeping his eyes trained on mine the entire time. With a simple crook of his finger, he summoned me to him. I was truly under his spell, and I was certain I’d never want out from under it. “Use your mouth,” he commanded, his voice deep and gravelly, full of need and lust.
Not wasting a single second, I took his cock into my mouth, loving the velvety feel of his skin against my tongue. “Wet,” he demanded. “Get it good and fucking wet, Micah.”
I groaned against his cock, loving how he took control of everything. His body moved underneath mine, shoving his cock deeper and deeper with each thrust. Since I had to hold my body weight with my arm, I couldn’t use my hand to jerk him. But based on the sounds coming out of his mouth, I didn’t think he cared. He bucked his hips so abruptly I thought he’d throw me off the bed. “That’s enough,” he barked, pulling his dick into his hand. When I saw he was gripping the base as he’d just done to mine, I knew he was close. Pride burst in my chest knowing I had at least a little control over him.
He reached over into the nightstand and pulled out a condom and the lube. Offering him the break he clearly needed, his breathing returned to mostly normal by the time he sat in front of me. As I kneeled there, waiting for his next command, my heart raced in my chest. “Give me your hand,” he whispered. His lips were red and swollen from our deep kisses.
My cock pulsed with need as he sucked on my fingers. He swirled his tongue around my digits as he would my dick, and I wanted nothing more than to tease him the way he was teasing me. Cool air hit my fingers as he pulled them from his mouth. But they were quickly warmed again by the lube drizzling over them. When they were coated in the sticky liquid, Jude guided my hand down his cock, over his balls, and along the seam of his ass. When my fingers brushed up against the puckered skin of his ass, he hissed in pleasure. “Yeah,” he coached, demanding, “More. More. More,” so quickly it was as if he wasn’t breathing at all.
Pushing gently against his skin, I was glad for the help he offered in pressing down onto my fingers. Despite saying he’d never bottomed, he was clearly in charge of his body. He was a man who knew what he wanted, and it made me feel powerful knowing he wanted me.
With that thought racing through my head, I pushed past the tightly wound muscles. A garbled groan of equal parts pleasure and pain escaped from his mouth, as his body shook under my touch. “Oh fuck,” he cursed, his neck straining under the weight of his need. “Micah, Micah, Micah.” My name falling from his lips matched the pace of my fingers fucking him in the ass. It was a rhythm all our own, a dance to which only we knew the moves.
My legs shook as I tried harder than anything to keep my balance. But as my fingers moved inside his body, I didn’t care about the limitations of my own. For the first time since I lost my arm, I knew it would never stop me when it came to loving Jude.
“Condom,” he demanded as his chest heaved with want. “Now,” he gritted out as he ground his body shamelessly down onto my hand before I removed it from his body.
“I . . . I’ve never . . . ,” I stuttered, suddenly ashamed of my lack of experience.
Sitting up, Jude took my trembling hand into his. “Hey,” he soothed. “What is it?”
A huge story of an explanation ran through my head. But somehow telling him I’d never used a condom as I was about to fuck him seemed like really poor timing. Besides, how would I explain that one?
My first time was with my now wife. And I got her pregnant that night. We married before I left for war. She has been on birth control ever since then. And even with that, I’ve done everything I could to avoid sex.
Yeah, now was definitely not the right time for all that. Instead of that sob story, I went with the not entirely untrue version. “I’ve never done this. I guess I’m nervous.” My shaking hand corroborated the half-truth.
He steadied my hand before taking the foil packet from me. Watching him open the wrapper and roll the condom over my dick was like watching someone perform poetry. There was an easy gracefulness in each and every one of his movements. He didn’t even have to look at what he was doing to know he was doing everything right. “There,” he said, making sure it was rolled all the way to the base of his cock. “Now you don’t have to worry.” He drizzled some lube onto the tip of my sheathed cock and rubbed his hand over my needy length.
Leaning back, I shoved my dick into his hand, needing the friction more than I needed to breathe. “Jude . . . I . . . I need . . . ,” I stuttered, desire making speaking more than a simple challenge.
“I need you, too,” he admitted as he eased himself down onto the mattress. “Use your hand again. Get me ready. Stretch me so I’m ready for your cock.” His words pushed me to the edge while the heat of his body pulled me back to reality. After a few shallow thrusts of my fingers, he breathed a relaxed sigh of pleasure. “Now,” he commanded. “Fuck me now.”
The second the tip of my cock pressed against his ass, I forgot everything I thought I didn’t know. Need took over, and fucking Jude was as simple as my heart pumping blood through my veins.
When I was all the way in, covered in his heat, I let out a groan so loud I was certain I’d wake the neighbors. “Holy fuck, Jude. Oh my God. You feel so fucking good. So tight.” All the strength left my body, and I crashed down on top of him, my arm suddenly too weak to hold my weight. The feel of his chest brushing up against mine as I thrust relentlessly into his body was too much pleasure to bear. “Jude . . . I’m . . . oh fuck.” On a final, erratic push into his body, I came with a roar, my body shaking uncontrollably with the release of it all.
Because it wasn’t only a physical release.
It was an emotional one I never even saw coming.
As the final pulses of my orgasm moved through my cock, I knew one thing for certain: I could never, ever go back to who I was.
“Fucking hell, Micah,” Jude called out as his hand flew over his cock with lightning speed. “Your dick. Oh God. I can’t hold on. I’m coming. Oh fuck,” he seethed through a clenched jaw.
I watched on in amazement as the first white ropes of his orgasm painted his chest. Unable to resist the taste of him a second longer, somehow, I maneuvered my body quickly enough to pull his cock into my mouth so that I could swallow the rest of what he had to give me.
After cleaning up, I lay next to Jude, boneless and satisfied unlike I’d ever been in my life. I fell asleep with my head on his chest, and whether he knew it or not, my heart was in his hands.
Because after giving him every part of who I was, I knew it would never belong to me ever again.
“So what do you want to do this weekend?” Jude asked, sitting across from me at the kitchen island. His father insisted on leaving early, claiming his day was packed. With what he wouldn’t tell us, but it was important enough for him to be gone before I even rolled out of bed.
With my fork stopped midair, I was somehow caught off guard by his question. In my mind, we were going to his father’s house to take care of him for the weekend. And then, come Monday, we would go back to the regular routine of him going to camp and me staying here. But as I took a moment to think about what I really wanted to do, I wondered how long that cycle could last. “I hadn’t thought of it actually,” I answered honestly. “Your dad’s I guess,” I added, before shoving the last bite of pancakes into my mouth.
He laughed as he rinsed off his plate. As he loaded the dishwasher, I couldn’t peel my eyes away from the sculpted muscles of his back. Unable, and certainly unwilling to resist kissing him a second longer, I took my plate to the sink, wrapping my arm around his waist. As I rested my cheek against his back, he laced his wet, soapy fingers with mine across his stomach. Letting out a contented sigh, I realized I didn’t need to do a damn thing this weekend.
