He cried out when my tongue circled his puckered skin. “Jude,” he whined. “Fuck.” Every sound only made me want to get inside him more and more.
“Your body is so fucking tight.” Pushing his legs up toward his chest more, I encouraged him to relax more. Using my mouth for something far more important than speaking, I fucked him with my tongue, loving his groans of pleasure on each shallow thrust. Within a few minutes, I’d worked him up to being able to take a finger and then two. The way his flesh resisted me at first made it easy to tell he wasn’t used to bottoming—hell, if he even ever did. His words about not being with anyone since me rang through my shaken head.
Part of me wanted to ask if this was his first time. And the other, larger, part of me needed to know that it would be me that he’d remember forever.
With that thought alone motivating me, I scissored my fingers, determined to stretch him open before I claimed him as mine. “Oh fucking hell,” he cursed as he jerked his swollen cock in his trembling hand. “Jude,” he muttered, sucking air into his lungs as if they’d only started working for the first time.
Knowing that I wouldn’t last more than two seconds once I dove into the heat of his body, I reared up on my knees, settling between his legs. He started to roll over, to balance himself on his elbow and knees, but I wasn’t having any of that. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“I figured,” he began to explain as I wrapped my arms around his waist.
“You figured nothing.” Claiming his mouth in the way I was about to claim his body, I tried my best to make my point with my body and my words. Resting my elbows on either side of his head, I looked directly into his eyes, hoping my words would sink into his soul. “The first time our bodies come together, I want to . . . No. Fuck that, Ineedto look into your eyes, not at the back of your head.” With one quick move, I rolled him so that he was on his back again.
His eyes widened as I opened the condom and rolled it down my shaft. He licked his lips as I tore open the packet of lube and then drizzled it over my dick. Leaving some on my fingers, I toyed with his ass once again, making sure he was ready for me.
“Take a deep breath,” I said, as I did the same. Because I knew the second my cock pressed into his body everything would change. As he exhaled, I pressed the tip of my dick against his skin. He relaxed against the pressure as he dug his fingers into my bicep.
Slower than I ever thought it was possible to move, I sank into his body. Centimeter by fucking agonizing centimeter, our bodies glided together. “Micah, fuck.” Unable to hold myself back any longer, I drove into him all the way, letting my balls slap against the curve of his ass.
“Oh fuck,” he groaned. “Jude.”
“Your cock,” I gritted out between slow thrusts. “Stroke it again. I need to see it. Want to see you come when I do.” Watching his hand move over his dick made my own cock swell. “Fuck,” I cursed on a low groan. “Micah, I’m coming. Oh fuck.” With a few more erratic thrusts, an orgasm like I’d never felt before raced through my body. “Oh, hell.”
“Jude . . . Jude . . .” Micah’s hips pushed up against my body as he came across his stomach and up his chest. “Fuck,” he cursed before letting his body fall back against the bed.
My arms shook, but there was no way I could stop staring at him, the calm way his face relaxed as his chest moved with each deep breath. There was no other way to describe the moment between us than serene. Something transcendent had just happened and neither of us possessed the words to describe it.
Unable to hold myself up anymore, I pulled out of his body and went into the bathroom where I took care of the condom. When I walked back into the bedroom, Micah was still on the bed, his breathing shallow and his face slack and relaxed like I’d never seen it before. Using the washcloth I brought out with me, I sat next to Micah on the bed and cleaned him up. He smiled up at me as I took care of him. “Thanks,” he muttered, his lips barely moving as he spoke the single word.
When I returned to the bed, Micah was still lying there, a dazed and extremely pleased look on his face. Curling up to his left side, I felt at home when he wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me close to him. His fingers danced over my upper arm, curving around my bicep. Tracing the lines of my tattoo, he asked, “Does it have any meaning?”
I rolled onto my side, exposing my arm and the rest of the tattoo, as if I needed to look at it to explain what it meant. “I got it after my first year of college. I was lost, didn’t know what the hell I was doing.” I reached down and laced our fingers together as I said the next part. “Dad was still drinking and you’d been gone for over a year. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”
“So you got a tattoo of a fish because you missed me?”
Laughing, I said, “Well when you put it like that I sound like some kind of pansy ass.” Micah nodded, smiling at me in agreement. “It wasn’t just about the fish. It was about the water and the coral. It was about his surroundings. Fish just swim around aimlessly, or at least it seemed that way at that point in my life. I was just swimming around, missing out on all the beautiful parts of life around me. Just like this fish.” As I explained my reasons, I traced over the black lines and colorful sea covering my entire upper arm. “He seems lost, swimming to the bottom of the ocean, but he’s got so much more to live for. There’s beauty around him, he just has to stop and notice it. So after I got this, I promised myself I wasn’t going to go through life with my head facing the bottom of the ocean anymore. I would keep my head held high and live my life instead of waiting for my life to happen.” Even as the words fell so effortlessly from my mouth, I hated the bitter taste the lie left in my mouth. It was true, I loved most of my life. I pretended to be confident and in control. But hiding this part of who I was, it was the greatest lie of my life.
Micah didn’t say anything. He simply smiled, a small tug of his lips exposing a flash of his bright white teeth. As he pulled me against his body, he let out a deep breath, and I had the distinct feeling my tattoo meant something to him, too.
