He pushes a piece of hair behind my ear and kisses away my tears. Gently pressing his lips to mine in a soft, innocent kiss, he says, “We’re going to make it through this. You and me, and our baby, are going to be just fine.”
My lips curl into an involuntary smile. “You said it.”
He looks at me and cocks his head to the side in confusion. “What did I say?”
Reaching up to cup his cheek in my hand, I pull his lips back to mine. “You saidour baby.” I take this moment to confess my unabated fears from that moment nearly a week ago when I told him I was pregnant for the first time. “In all of our arguing and fighting from back when I pushed you away, you never once said you wanted this baby. You kept saying over and over again how much you lovedmeand how much you wantedusto stay together, but you never said anything about the baby.” Fidgeting with my hands and twisting my fingers together distracts me marginally for the stress of this conversation. “So I…I thought you didn’t want the baby. I thought you didn’t love it, and that it would just be easier for you to forget about me, about us, since I was suddenly a burden to you.”
He pulls me back into his arms and laughs a small, pained laugh. “Maddy, yes, I’ll admit that you telling me that you’re pregnant was the biggest shock of my life. I didn’t handle it well, but just because I was surprised and scared doesn’t mean that I stopped loving you or that I didn’t want this baby.” He pauses and pulls back from our hug. Tipping my chin up with his finger, he kisses me sweetly again. “I’m not saying I have all of the answers just yet, or that I ever will, but I love you and I want you. I love this baby,” he pats his pocket indicating the sonogram picture. “And I wantourbaby more than anything. Seeing it on the screen and hearing the heartbeat, well, that just has to be the most beautiful thing ever. Except for you, of course.” He ends his proclamation of love by raining down sweet little pecks all over my face – my cheeks, my nose, my lips.
“Come on. Let’s get you dressed. I’m sure Mel is waiting out there for us.” He angles his head towards the door and the waiting room beyond it. In all of the emotional chaos, I had completely forgotten that Mel would be waiting here.
A few minutes later, we enter into the waiting room and see Mel nervously pacing across the floor. She’s obviously been crying, but when she catches sight of us walking towards her with smiling faces, her lips crack into a small, uncertain smile as well.
She runs to us with outstretched arms and hugs my tightly. “I was so worried about you, Maddy. Is everything okay? Is the baby…?” The uncertainty of everything makes her unable to finish her sentence.
Reid speaks for me as I just hold onto her tightly and cry at my best friend’s concern. “She’s just fine and the baby is fine too.” He kisses the side of my head reassuringly. “She just needs to go home and rest and drink lots of water.”
I feel Mel nod her head from our sisterly hug. She steps to the side and wraps an arm around my shoulder.
“I’ll go pull the car around and you walk her to the front.” Reid walks out in front of us and I can’t help the feeling of peace that bathes over me. The last time I saw him walk out of a hospital, I thought I would never see him again.
Now, I know for certain that I will never have to be without him.
Melanie helps me walk out to the car, and as I slide into my seat, she tells me that Momma is out for the weekend. Apparently, Linda landed some last minute passes to a spa weekend and Momma was all too quick to take her up on the offer.
After I’ve got my seat belt clicked into place, she says, “I’ll run to the store and pick up some food and whatnot and I’ll meet you guys at home.” She gently closes the door and walks away.
Reid starts the engine of the truck and pulls out of the parking lot. As he drives us back to the only home I’ve ever really known, I can’t help the small smile that curls at the corners of my mouth.
Reid notices it. “What are you smiling at over there?” His playful voice brightens my smile. Things feel good. They feel right.
“Nothing really. It’s just that the nurse called you ‘Daddy’ and you didn’t freak out. I’m happy, I guess.” I direct my smile over at him and I notice that his eyes are dancing with happiness.
“She did, didn’t she? I guess it hasn’t sunk in just yet. I mean, I know there’s a baby, but until she said it, I didn’t think of myself as a daddy.” He leans against the door and looks over at me, and it’s like I’m seeing him for the first time all over again, but in a completely different light this time.
I recall Momma’s words of advice to just let him get used to the idea of a baby on his own time table, to let him love me the way he knows how, to have faith that things will work out.
Looking at him now, in this moment, I can see the truth in her words of advice. He loves me; he wants this baby. It’s just space that he needed to make the decision on his own.
I reach out for his hand and he places his in mine. “I love you, Reid.”
“Love you too, babe. Now let’s get home and eat. I’m starving.” He kisses our entwined hands and returns his attention to the road ahead of us.
I call Momma on the way home. She starts crying immediately, but when I tell her that I heard the heartbeat and that the doctor is hopeful that everything will be alright, she calms down a little bit. She grills me all about Reid showing up and about what we talked about. I can’t say much with him right next to me, shooting me wry looks as I’m trying to evade her probing questions. I promise to fill her in on all of the details when she comes home. Before she hangs up, she tells me she loves me and I return her words. I miss her and right now, completely exhausted and emotionally over-wrought, I could use a hug from the only woman I’ll ever consider my mom.
Reid, Mel and I spend the rest of the afternoon watching a few movies and vegging out in the living room. As evening approaches, Mel tells us that she’s going to go out with a few friends. She leaves the house at around nine p.m. and tells us not to wait up for her.
Reid and I watch one more movie, and about a half an hour into it, I can’t stop yawning. I’m completely exhausted but the thought of sleeping on the couch again makes my back tense up.
Reid sees that I need to get some sleep and offers to make the couch up for me.
“No, that’s okay, babe. I’d rather sleep upstairs in my own bed. I’ll just go slow.” I move to get up from the couch, but Reid’s voice causes me to stop.
He looks at me sternly. “Like hell you will. The doctor said no stairs. Now, if you want to go upstairs, I’ll carry you.” I open my mouth to protest, but he doesn’t let me say anything. “No, Maddy. I’ll carry you. No arguing.” The finality in his words shuts me up, but it also lightens my heart. I know for certain that he loves me and now that I beyond any doubt that he loves our baby, I can breathe a little easier.
He bends down and hooks his arms under my knees and shoulders before effortlessly lifting me in his strong, caring arms.
I plant a sweet kiss to his neck. Inhaling his uniquely masculine scent makes desire swirl low in my belly. I kiss him again, this time not so sweetly. I feel him laugh lightly at me.
