I swallow back my pride and make my final apology. Well, it’s not really an apology so much as an explanation. “I wasn’t going on a date, by the way.” I don’t mean for my words to sound guilt-ridden, but that’s exactly how they come out of my mouth.
I feel his hard muscles tense under my fingertips. He sits up straighter, almost involuntarily. Through his tensed jaw, he squeezes out a few words. “Okay, tell me what you were doing, then.” That mean edginess is back in his voice and it forces me to stiffen beside him. He has every right to be angry, but it’s such a stark contrast from the Reid I know. It takes me a minute to adjust to his personality changes.
I grip the sheet tighter across my chest as if it will protect me from the impending onslaught.
Timidly, I say, “Jay is my ex-boyfriend. You know the one I broke up with because I didn’t love him.” I can only hope that the last piece will soften the blow a little. “I told you all about him. I ran into him at the deli; he saw my cast and my scrubs, and he wanted to catch up. I couldn’t think of any excuse while we were standing there, so I said I would grab dinner with him, right after work. I figured it would be less like a date if I was just getting off from work.” I’m nervously fidgeting with the corner of the sheet. I just want to get this over with and move past it.
Reid moves away from me and gets out of bed. He searches around the room for his boxers. They’re somewhere at the end of the bed, I think. He’s pissed and stalking about the place is the only way he can calm himself. Once his taut, round ass is covered, he runs his hands through his silky hair. His sense of frustration is palpable in the room and I hate that I’ve pissed him off.
Throwing his hands to his side in frustration, he growls, “What the fuck did you want me to think, Maddy? I mean, we don’t talk all week and then I finally hear from you and I can’t explain how that changed everything for me. It made me hope that we could salvage us. And then when I saw you leaving with him, I couldn’t fucking help it.” He shakes his head in frustration and runs his hands through his hair, pulling hard on the ends. “Fuck, don’t you realize that you’re mine?” He plops down on the end of the bed.
I take this opportunity to find his T-shirt and slip it over my naked body. His elbows are resting on his knees and he’s holding his head in his hands. I kneel on the floor in front of him. I pull his hands apart and settle in between his legs. Cupping his roughly stubbled cheeks in my hands, I pull his face up so that he is looking directly at me.
“I will always be yours. Please believe me.” He looks away from me and it twists my gut. Grabbing his face in my small hands, I pull his attention back to my eyes. Brushing the pads of my thumbs across his cheek, I soften my voice and say, “I screwed up, Reid. I fucked up so bad and I know it, but when I went back to Ithaca and you weren’t there, I thought you left me. But even despite that, I was not in any way moving on from you. No matter what the future holds for us, you will be my forever. There will never be anyone else for me. You’ve ruined me for every other man. I’m yours and only yours and I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me and be mine.”
“And I will always be yours. No matter what. No matter what happens at home with my mom, no matter what has happened in my past, I will always love you the best way I know how.” I’ve never heard words said with more sincerity in my entire life.
His gorgeous lips curl up into a lopsided smile and I can see the fight leave his body. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me up onto his lap and I wince in pain. I curl into a ball on his lap and hug my belly.
“Are you okay, Maddy?” He’s rubbing circles across my back and his tone is a bit wary.
I try to straighten in his lap, but the pinch in my side that just made me wince will not go away. “Yeah, I think so. I just got a cramp in my side.” I try to stand in the hopes that stretching my body upright will relieve whatever this pain is.
Standing is not a good idea. Rather than dulling it, standing has caused the pain to radiate like a band of searing heat across my pelvis.
The baby. It’s the baby.
Reid is at my side in an instant. “What is it, Maddy? Please tell me. What should I do?” The panic rising in his voice fans the flames of my anxiety, but I know that one of us needs to stay calm.
Speaking from a hunched over position, I say, “I don’t know, Reid. It hurts.” A huge cramp races through my belly and I cry out in pain.
He helps me sit down on the bed, but as I do, I feel a gush of dampness spread between my legs. I shuffle back slightly and, because I’m only wearing his T-shirt, the bright red splotch of blood seeps right into the cream-colored comforter.
He sees it at the same time I do and we both stare at each other in shock for a split second. I want to cry, I should be crying, but in this moment of pain, all I can do is blame myself. I don’t know how, but this is obviously my fault.
Somehow, Reid remains calm and in control. The panic that was in his voice moments earlier has vanished and in its place is calm concern.
Sitting next to me on the bed, he wraps his arm around my shoulders and forces me to look at him. “It’s okay, Maddy. Don’t cry. Let’s just get you dressed and I’ll take you to the hospital. Everything will be alright. I’m right here.” His tender kiss to the top of my head does nothing to calm me down.
He helps me rise from the bed. I can’t say anything; there’s nothing to say. In my state of numbed shock, I don’t even realize that Reid has already finished getting himself dressed and that he’s helping me step into my clothes.
He pulls his T-shirt over my head and replaces it with my top. He kneels down and lifts my ankle to step into my pants. After he’s put my clothes and shoes back on, he wraps my jacket around my shoulders and he pulls his over his bulky frame. He’s got my purse gripped in his hand, fist clenched around the strap as if he’s holding on for dear life. We stand silently at the door and scan the room once more to make sure that we have everything and then we leave.
After he helps me into the truck, which hurts like a bitch, he digs his phone out of his jacket pocket and dials Mel.
His voice shakes when Mel picks up the line. Obviously, I can only hear his side of the conversation, but when he tells her that I started bleeding and that he’s taking me to the hospital, I can hear her shocked “No”.
He hands me the phone at Mel’s request to talk to me.
Mel doesn’t even give me a second to say anything before she starts talking. “Oh my God, Maddy. Are you okay? Where are you?” I can hear that her words are being forced out past a lump of emotion in her throat. She’s trying, but failing miserably, to keep her tears at bay because before I can even answer her, her sobs carry over the line.
“We’re on our way to the hospital. Yes, Good Sam. I think we’ll be there in like ten minutes. Okay, I’ll see you there. It’s okay, Mel. I’ll be okay.” I can’t disguise the pain in my words. It runs deep right now.
As I hand the phone back to Reid, we make eye contact for a second, but I have to avert my eyes. I feel ashamed for some reason, like I did something wrong. I just want everything to be okay; I just want my baby to be safe. When he reaches for my hand, I let him hold it, but I can’t look at him. Instead, I count the trees lining the road as I stare out the window.
When we arrive at the hospital, Reid takes care of everything. He fills out all of the paperwork, prompting me for information when he comes to something he doesn’t know. Luckily, Kathy was able to get me a temporary insurance card after I filled out the paperwork the other day.
When the nurse brings me into the triage room, she takes my vitals and temperature. As she reaches down for my wrist to take my pulse, she notices the blood spreading from between my legs.
