I lie on my back and pull her against my chest. When her cheek presses against my heart, all feels right with the world. She drapes her leg across mine and places her hand on my chest. Running my fingers through her sex-mussed hair, I lean down and kiss her forehead.
“I love you, Reid,” she mumbles, sleepily against my skin. A deep yawn interrupts her words.
“Maddy, I love you too.” I kiss her again. I never want my lips not to be pressed against her skin.
She yawns again and says, “We should talk.”
“You’re right, Maddy. We need to talk, but right now you’re wrecked, and I just want to hold you. Let’s sleep and we’ll talk in the morning.”
She just mumbles something I assume means “yes”. “Sleep now, sweetness. I love you.”
We both drift off in each other’s arms - safe and secure knowing that we have each other’s back now. We just need to figure out how to make it stay that way.
My eyes flutter open as the early morning sunlight trickles into the hotel room. Reid is curled into a ball around me, holding me close. I take a minute to study his features, to get lost in his beauty. That’s what he is – beautiful. Other words just seem insignificant in describing him. His lips are parted slightly as he breathes evenly in his slumber. There’s peace in his face and a calm that I know I helped put there.
I brush a strand of his silky, sandy brown hair out of his eyes and he shifts a little. Kissing the tip of his nose, I try to untangle myself from his tight hold. I need to pee. I’m actually pretty surprised I didn’t have to get up last night to go.
The moment I try to wriggle free, he bands his arm around my waist and pulls me even closer. My head is resting under his chin, so the vibrations of his words rumble against my scalp and make my skin tingle.
“You’re not going anywhere, beautiful. I want to spend the entire day in bed with you.” He kisses my hair sweetly and then rests his head back on the pillow.
Planting my lips against his warm, hard chest, I kiss him sweetly. “Baby, I want to stay in bed all day long too, but I need to pee.” His playful sigh is a sound that I’ve missed.
I stand from the bed and feel a twinge of pain in my belly. I dismiss it immediately seeing as my bladder is so full.
A few minutes later, I return to Reid’s outstretched arms. We lay in a comfortable silence for a bit, but I know that we need to talk.
“Reid?” I ask with the uncertainty lacing my voice.
“Hmm.” He’s so content that he doesn’t even open his eyes as he responds.
“Can I ask you something?” Damn. Can I sound less sure of myself? The man just made love to me for hours, held me in my sleep and I’m still worried that he doesn’t want me back.
He kisses my head. “Of course you can, babe.”
I unfold myself from his side and sit up in the bed, crossing my legs and holding the sheet up across my chest. I know that modesty is pointless here, but I don’t want to take away from the seriousness of the conversations with my boobs hanging out.
He huffs an exasperated sigh that I’m interrupting his beauty sleep, not that he needs to be more beautiful. He sits up too and pulls the sheet across his lap. Now that boobs and junk are covered up, it’s time to bite the bullet and have this conversation.
His eyes bore into mine as he waits for me to start talking. I have so much to say, but right now, I just don’t know where to start. No better place than the beginning, I guess.
I reach out for his hands. “I’m sorry, Reid. I’m sorry for so much. I don’t know why I ever had the nerve to think that you were cheating on me. And I had no right to snoop around on your phone. I should have just talked to you. I was just so scared.” He doesn’t say anything as I pause to catch my breath and gather my thoughts. He just stares at me intently, letting me know that he’s expecting more of an apology than that.
“And…” he prompts me to continue.
“And I’m sorry about calling Katelyn and getting involved in your past. It was wrong of me to tell you what to do, to tell you to make your decisions based on what’s happened in my life.” It feels so good to finally be able to say that to him. Just a few days ago, I really and truly thought I might never see him again.
I recall Momma’s words of advice that I need to get over my own past. I have to let him know that I carry as much blame, if not more, than he does. “It’s just that we both got so angry at each other, so quickly and all of my old insecurities came right back to the surface. I know it’s not fair and I’m sorry.” I must not have realized it while I was talking, but my heart is racing and there’s a pit of anxiety brewing in my stomach.
I quickly add, “But most of all, I’m so sorry for pushing you away…for breaking up with you.”
He releases my hands so that he can brush my hair out of my face. “I want to move past this, Maddy. I want to get everything out in the open, so yeah, you making me face my family just because you were scared was really shitty and completely unnecessary.” He runs his hands through his hair and sighs at me before saying, “I love you. My God, do I love you and my love is not based on whether or not I can forgive my mother.” He shifts in the bed so that he’s a bit closer to me and he grasps my hands again. Pulling them up to his soft, full, sexy lips, he gazes intently into my eyes.
“Maddy, please understand me when I say this, I love you.” He squeezes my hand lightly on each of his last three words. “I wish I was smarter. I wish I had more experience in this whole relationship thing. I wish I could make you understand the weight of my words, but please, baby, please understand that the words ‘I love you’ don’t even come close to expressing how I feel about you.” His eye contact never wavers; his grip on my hands never loosens.
He shifts again so that he’s now next to me and he pulls me into a tight embrace. “The way you feel when we’re making love, when we’re together, that’s how I feel about you. There are no words to express the love I feel when I’m with you.” He kisses the top of my head, which is becoming my favorite place for him to kiss me – okay, fine, not myfavorite,but it’s sweet nonetheless.
I place my head on his shoulder as my hand traces random patterns through the light spattering of hair on his chest. The weight that has been hanging around us since he picked me up from work seems to have lessened, but only slightly.
