This is stupid! I have a pitch to prepare.
I shove back from the desk. I do not have time to lose myself in thoughts about licking, sucking or fucking Nolan“Please Let Me Do All Three”Rhodes.
I snatch my coffee and take a long sip like caffeine can somehow course-correct my entire personality. I need to keep things in the lane. The unbothered, definitely-not-horny lane.
Buzz.Carl.
What’s up, Buttercup?
Working
Me too!
What did you say you do for a living?
I thrive in corporate chaos.
That sounds...soul-sucking.
Oh, it is. But I’m elite at it. The chaos bends to me. (Well, most days)
Modest, aren’t you?
Honest. Now YOU. What’s it like being the reigning queen of snark?
Exhausting.
Heavy is the head that wears the crown.
Do you ever take breaks from all that royalty? Or is it a 24/7 gig?
I’ll let you know if I ever get a break. So far, it’s been a one-woman show.
Well, consider this your commercial break. Popcorn optional. Crown stays on.
Ugh, please don’t segue into unsolicited life advice about “letting go” and “living in the moment.”
Tempting… but no. I know better than to poke royalty with a motivational quote.
I’ll just say this—whatever this weird little texting thing is? It’s fun.
Thanks for that, TF.
Totally agree. And weird little texting thing? Rude.
I prefer exclusive, unhinged, yet supportive pen pal.
Trademark it immediately.
So, what do YOU do for work?
Professional taste-tester for mac and cheese brands.
Respect. True hero of the people.
If you weren’t royalty or landing career-making opportunities, what would you do…if you could do anything?
Honestly? Something with authors.
