“I’m here for you. Imogene too.” She taps my plate with her fork. “Now eat your eggs. You’re gonna need the protein to survive tonight.”
I frown. “Tonight?”
“Shelby Davidson. Happy hour.” Tammy grins. “You forgot, didn’t you?”
“I didn’t forget.” I smirk. “But thanks for the reminder.”
She sips her juice again, smug. “Don’t worry. I already blocked it on your calendar and added a thirty-minute pregame slot so you can rehearse your charm.”
I chuckle. “You’re a menace.”
“I’m your assistant.”
“Same thing.”
She tips her glass toward me. “Remember, Nolan—whoever this mystery girl is, and whatever the hell you think you’re doing withRorie Adams, don’t lie to yourself about what you want.”
I nod slowly. And try not to think about how I want both women to be the same person.
“Which is the Asher Cross account.”
Oh, right. And that too.
After breakfast, I wandered the city half-heartedly sipping a lukewarm latte and pretending I had errands to run. I didn’t.
What I did have, however, was a phone full of unsolicited dick pics.
Not of me. No, no.
I wore one joke shirt—ONE—and suddenly every man within a ten-block radius decided I was the chosen one. The Keeper of the Dongs. The digital dick oracle. And now, like the generous bastard I am, I’m about to forward the worst of them to the only person on earth who might actually appreciate the absurdity:Textually Frustrated.
I hope you’re somewhere safe because I’m about to send you something deeply disturbing.
Why do I feel like I need to call my lawyer before I open this?
Too late. Sending.
[Image attached]
WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL, CARL?!
Are you impressed?
Or deeply, profoundly afraid?
I need to dunk my phone in holy water.
Wait! Is this YOU?
I never said it was MY dick. Should I?
You should have prepared me before scarring me for life.
I’ve received too many of these in my time, TF. My inbox is basically a shrine to unsolicited manhood. Some are artistic, some are distressing, and others…well, I’ll admit, some have made me question my own self-worth.
Are you telling me there’s a spectrum of dicks in your phone?
A dick-tionary, if you will.
