Mase’s torso wracks in silent sobs as he lies curled up on the seat.
Lola pulls open the door and joins him in the back. She flicks me a brief glance. “Okay, you can drive now.”
“Seatbelt.” After a stern look from me she straps herself in and lifts Mase’s head onto her lap. Lola looks at me. “Happy?”
Not in the slightest. My best friend is in pieces and the girl I’m in love with is pulling further away from me by the second. I won’t be happy until I know exactly what my father said to her, until I’ve replaced every one of his vile words with kisses on her skin. But I know Lola better than she thinks and right now I know she’s scared. Our conversation can wait, so I dip my head and pull back out into the road.
“You didn’t fail me, Mase,” Lola says as she runs her fingers through his hair, which is now the longest I’ve seen it since he signed up. “You didn’t fail me. And you didn’t fail her.”
“I lost her,” he mutters, his sobs falling into numbness.
“I know. I know and I’m so sorry. But I’m right here, okay? I’m right here.”
I tear my gaze away from them and brush a hand over my blurred eyes.
“Have you told Mom and Dad?” Lola asks Mase, her voice soft.
“Not yet.” I watch through the rearview mirror as he peers up at her. “Will you do it with me?”
Lola looks like an avenging angel as she sits there in her shimmering dress, cradling her brother. Anger and compassionfight each other out, the emotions playing across her face as she processes everything Mase has been going through.
“Yeah Mase, we’ll do it together.”
He lets out a breath I think he’s been holding for weeks. “Thanks, Lo.” His eyes fall shut after that and a quiet settles over the car.
Lola stays in the back with Mase all the way to Pine Rock, murmuring softly to him.
I keep glancing at her in the mirror, my heart rioting each time she pretends not to notice. Lola wants to be there for Mase, I don’t doubt that, but I also know she climbed into the back to avoid me.
Whatever my dad said is gnawing at Lola’s mind like a flesh-eating virus. I can see her over-thinking everything we’ve built this past month. Feel her drifting away. It’s slow torture and I have to grip the steering wheel to stop from pulling over again and dragging her onto my lap until she comes back to me.
I force myself to focus on the road but the white highway lights cutting through the black are too rhythmic to provide any distraction.
I should never have taken Lola to dinner with me. I should have known playing my father’s game wouldn’t end well but I think a small childish part of me was hoping that things could be different. That he could love me. But no. The man that raised me is as cutthroat and ruthless as he’s always been. And I’m an idiot.
I spent most of my teen years trying to keep Lola safe only to hand deliver her to the lion’s den. It was a mistake, but it can’t be the end.
He may regret it now but sending me to stay with the Fords was the best thing my father ever did.
We’ll get Mase home and then Lola and I are going to talk because Lola’s right, we didn’t lose her that night. She’s righthere. And there’s no way in hell I’m letting my father take away the only good thing he’s ever given me.
Chapter Thirty-One
Lola
Dear Roman,
So, I’m going to Japan. I’m sorry I’m not saying goodbye in person, but I think I’m going to be gone for a while.
So, I guess, I’ll see you when I see you.
Lola x
- Letter from Lola, age 18 to Roman, age 25
Roman drives us to my parents’place and an only slightly sober Mase and I do as we agreed. We sit down in the living room, Mom and Dad in their dressing gowns, me dressed to the nines but breaking inside and Mase smelling of booze. Together, we tell them what’s been going on with him.
There’s a lot of hugging and crying but the relief on Mase’s face is clear.
