“Did I not put ‘great at making inappropriate jokes’ on my job application?”
“No. You did not.”
“Huh, strange.”
Skyler pushes the cart over to where we parked in, and we load our stuff into the back of the Jeep. We’re just about finished when the bartender from before steps outside with a trash bag.
“I’ll be back in a sec,” I tell Skyler before dashing across the street and trailing after the woman to the dumpster.
She notes my presence but doesn’t say anything.
“Hey, um, that guy I was talking to, he’s my brother. Has he um– when…” I can’t seem to get the words out.
The woman lifts the lid to the bin and swings the bag over into the dumpster. It lands with a thump. “He’s been coming in every day for the last two weeks.”
Her words hit me hard, worry gnawing at my stomach but I just nod. “Does he– is his car here?”
She keeps her face tactically blank, but her shoulders soften. “He gave me his keys an hour ago. He gets a taxi home.”
I nod again, my stomach unknotting a little. “Good. That’s good. Thank you.” I take an awkward step to the side and let her pass.
I stare at the entrance to the bar long after she’s gone back inside but Mase doesn’t reappear.
I guess, in a roundabout way, my plan to stop thinking about Roman and Carson worked, because I spend the whole drive back to Pine Rock replaying what Mase said.
I knew my mom was worried. She’s called me at least a dozen times in the last three days. I thought giving Mase and my parents space would make things easier. I’d been telling myself I was giving them time to adjust but in reality, I’m just mad.
It was never my intention to ignore them completely, but I’ve been so focused on the shop and then Roman and you know the whole almost getting run over thing, I haven’t had the headspace to battle with them. I shouldn’thaveto battle with them. Family are the people who are supposed to have your back no matter what, the people who are supposed to help you chase your dreams, not tell you you’ll never reach them. I know my parents love me, but I think they worry about me more.
The worst thing about it is that I brought this on myself. As cruel as he was, Mase wasn’t entirely out of line. He’s had to clean up my messes more times than I can count. He’s picked me up from police stations, tutored me in school, carried my drunk ass home after partying too hard.
Despite recent evidence to the contrary, Mase is an incredible big brother. He’s the smart one, the responsible one, and the last time I screwed up it almost killed him.
Mase was ready to go after Carson, evidence or not, and if Carson hadn’t got arrested for the drugs I’m not sure what my brother would have done.
I don’t know what the hell has happened to him to make him drink the day away but he’s not going to talk to me about it, andI have a feeling the only person he will talk to is the one person I don’t want to.
Chapter Thirteen
Lola
I think I’m gonna be sick again.
Taking shots of tequila till three in the morning will do that to you.
You gonna tell Dad?
Pretty sure he already knows. You’re not exactly throwing up quietly.
Ugh.
- Conversation between Lola, age 14 and Mase, age 21 over the toilet bowl
In the end,I don’t call Roman after the incident at the hardware store. I’m worried about my brother, but I’m also worried that Roman has decided he wants nothing to do with me, or my shop, and I couldn’t quite bring myself to hear his rejection.
Mase isn’t responding to any of my messages either and I don’t know whether to be angry or concerned. This isn’t like him.
I spent my teenage years getting drunk at parties, but Mase spent his running or hiking. He was always looking out for me. And I hate that I can’t return the favor. But I’m also fucking mad at him for what he said this afternoon.
